Who can come up with the craziest logical chain?

Question

If you don’t know a logical chain is when you use several “If…Then” statements stringed together.


Example:
If it is cows are blue then they are from space.
If cows are from space then they eat people.
If cows eat people then I am sacred.

Conclusion: If cows are blue then I am scared.
O.K. It’s a little lame but you get the idea =)

Make it at least 3 lines.

Answer 1

Cows shouldn't scare you....

If Pres Bush is Pres. then the world will hate america.
If the world hates america then terrorists will continue to strike us.
If the terrorists strike us then we will be in world war 3.


Conclusion: If bush is pres. then we will be in world war 3.

Now that makes me scared...

Answer 2

A fire engine has four men and eight wheels.
Four and eight make twelve.
There are twelve inches in a foot.
A ruler is a foot long.
Queen Elizabeth was a ruler.
She sailed the seven seas.
There are fish in the sea.
Fish have fins.
The Finns fought with the Russians.
The Russian flag is red.

And fire engines are always rushin' around, so that's why they're painted red.

Answer 3

If a ladybug lands on you, then winter is over.
If winter is over, then you don't need to wear your winter coat.
If you don't need to wear your winter coat, then you can put on shorts.
Conclusion: If a ladybug lands on you, then you can put on shorts.