threesome or no?

Question

I have a fantasy of having another guy , possibly one of my friends having sex with my girlfriend. We have talked about the thought and there was really no hesitation. I know that she would probably be up for it but i dont know if there will be jealousy issues because it is a very jealous relationship...HELP!

Answer 1

Although I have a feeling this question is BS, I'll answer it anyway just because someone somewhere is really in this situation. NO! These kind of relationships never work for the same reason you just provided. Jealousy. They also create resentment between everyone evolved. Trust me, your girlfriend will hold animosity toward you forever.

Answer 2

Don't do it. My ex boyfriend had the same fantasy, he begged and begged and I refused for a long time (I had my reasons why, but didn't stick to my guns). Eventually I gave into his desire...and it wasn't as bad as I thought it would be; However, his friend would come over and he would get super jealous. I was clueless...I made his fantasy come true because I loved him I did what he wanted and went against how I felt...in turn I got to feel like some corner ho. We had been together off and on for ten years...it was always a good break up if that makes any sense. We were high school sweethearts, then we thought we were to young for a real relationship type stuff. The last time though was bad for two who never fought in that ten years it turned into I couldn't do anything right, and we knew it was the end... all because we did something stupid. My parents on the other hand...were swingers...my mother was always depressed because of it (but would never tell anyone that was the problem till she asked for a divorce) and my father couldn't understand why after 20 years of marriage and four children she could just up and walk away. I wouldn't say odds are in your favor. So my answer is if you love her don't. My husband has the same fantasy, but he knows where I stand on it, because it has affected me more than once, and he two has jealousy issues.

I'd also like to add that in alaska it is custom that the man share his wife with good friends...suicide rates are high in alaska...you can blame it on the darkness or the jealousy.

Answer 3

If jealousy is already an issue, then a threesome would eventually just turn into fuel for the fire. But if you really want to have a threesome, do it with another couple that you're not romantically involved with in any way then it won't give you cause to regret it later. And remember - SAFE SEX is the BEST SEX.

Answer 4

If you forsee problems then don't do it. I myself have not had a threesome but, from what I have read it can be a relationship killer. You really have to be very open minded. Also, think that there are 3 variables. you, your mate and the guy. All 3 must agree and all 3 must be open minded. All 3 need to have strong mental stamina to not crumble under the preasure of the what have I done. Insecirities can play a mayor part. Are you sure you can handle watching another person having sex with your mate.

One more thing is how well do you know the 3rd person. Are they disease free or do they knowe about what you may or may not have?

Answer 5

Very jealous relationship=no threesome nookie for you... if you want to keep your relationship with your gf that is.

The only way threesomes work is if all the people involved are clear on the "rules" that are decided on ahead of time. Sounds like your "rule" is that inviting a third person is just for fun and not for emotional attachment. So if there's any possibility that you or she might start getting all upset after, like assuming that she has fallen madly in love with the third just because y'all had sex once then it's a really dumb idea dude.

Also, it doesn't even sound like you've talked about threesomes with your gf yet. It sounds like you talked about it with your guy friend, though. What's up with that, securing a third when you haven't even talked to your partner yet??? That to me is a huge sign that y'all really aren't in a place where it would work.

But, it's your relationship, do what you want.

Answer 6

From an experienced swinger point-of-view, here is how I see it:

Sometimes, for some people, a fantasy is better left just that. A fantasy.

I'm assuming you are BOTH the jealous sort. If jealousy is a problem now, what's going to happen when you see your girlfriend having good sex with another guy? Because isn't that the idea of a MFM threesome? That she has some really good sex?

My wife will tell you that part of the reason she has really good sex in a MFM is that I am part of it. I am sharing the experience with her. It's as much my fantasy as it is hers. I love to see her in that state of euphoric pleasure, because she deserves it. It's almost like moral support. Knowing she is turning me on makes her let go even more. It's an incredible side of her sexuality that I am glad I can help her realize.

Now that said, that's not going to help you get over you jealousy. Jealousy in reality is nothing but neurotic insecurity. The fear that someone else may be preferred over you. That you are not "enough" - in any which way you want to believe, sexually or otherwise - for your partner. It's the fear that you don't hold enough value to your partner that they would want to stay with you. That someone else that is "bigger", "better", "better looking", "smarter", whatever, could lure them away from you. So you protect yourself by "protecting" them. You make it appear you are looking-out for them, but in reality you are looking-out for yourself.

Like they say though, jealousy in a relationship is like salt in food. A little can ad flavor, too much will ruin it. Jealousy is the dragon that slays love under the pretense of keeping it alive.

Many confuse jealousy with love, thinking the greater the jealousy the greater they must love someone. Jealousy is the love of oneself more than the other person. It's protecting ones self under the guise of protecting the other person. A healthy relationship has little or no jealousy. Love is a condition where the happiness of another person is essential to your own.

When you think about it though, why are you two attracted to each other? Obviously it has to be something more than just sex. Sex is great, but it's not enough to make me want to spend the other 23 hours a day with someone. I, like you and your girlfriend, can have great sex with other people. I'm sure you've both had great sex with someone else in the past. So why are you not still with them? Your girlfriend fills a spot in your life that they didn't. And the same for you to your girlfriend.

When we first got into swinging I didn't think I'd have any issues because I'd done some swinging years ago in college. But, for some reason, it was different now. I didn't like myself that way though. I am a very secure person and I don't have any self-esteem issues. I didn't like feeling jealous because it simply wasn't me. So, whether or not we continued swinging, I set-out to rid myself of my jealousy. Which I did. And when I did our swinging got even better because it went from just being turned-on by it, to reveling in my wife's sexuality. It went from being jealous that she might like someone better than me, to being proud of her. It was like "ha, that's my wife. And the best part is... I get her like this every day. I'm a lucky guy, huh?"

I started feeling good about myself as I was helping her be herself. And you know what? She repays me in kind, and 100 times over too. Our relationship has gotten even better than it was before. Removing jealousy from it has opened-up and defined all those things other than sex that are the reason we are married to each other and not to someone else. We can have great sex with other people, but what we have together we can only have with each other.

I hope that helps a bit with the jealousy part. I would put-off living your threesome fantasy until you are both sure you won't have any issues afterward. Swinging will not hurt a strong relationship.

For some good information from others that have been there, or like you are thinking of going there, check-out The Swingers Board http://www.swingersboard.com . Below is a link to a search done just on the keyword "jealous" so you can easily read what others have said.

Good luck.

Answer 7

There won't be a relationship left after you are finished. And it's not worth it at all. You already said you have jealousy issues -- you are making a huge mistake.

Why would you even want to THINK about another man with someone you love, anyhow? Does that seem like something a loving relationship would include? (I know I would not want to see another woman in MY bed.) Just makes for bad Karma....

Answer 8

THINK about this. First, you could be putting both of you at risk for contracting an STD. Secondly, you're setting yourself up for many a fight in the future. It's best just to keep that a fantasy. Buy a 3some movie or something, but I just think the risks are too high, just to enact a fantasy.

Imagine seeing your girlfriend with another guy. You NOW believe she's faithful to you...but after you see her with someone else, will you ever really believe she is again? Even if she IS faithful, you've witnessed her with someone else. Could you really, truly believe that if she'd have sex with a guy in front of you, that she wouldn't behind your back? Ho will you really perceive her after this?

Answer 9

you're loopy, you should have not in any respect advised your bf that you've been even wondering about a threesome. Thats a mans fantasy and now you've all yet commited your self to doing it. I surely does no longer invite a chum because you may say strong bye on your bf after that. both of them will be hooking up in the back of your decrease back! tell him that you've concept about it and that you want him to a lot to share him with some different person.If he acts disapointed as him even if that is okay if the 0.33 better 1/2 is a male instead of a lady and lets see how he likes that.when you're loopy sufficient to have a threesome with yet another woman. employ a hooker,this way neither of you're in my opinion linked to her and he or she received't get emotionally in touch consisting of your guy. locate one on the internet,both of you may pick one jointly. make effective that she isn't as exceptionally as you're although.would I also recommend that when you're white make it a black woman and when you're black make it a white woman. this way you received't ought to rigidity about them stepping right into a extreme relationship in the back of your decrease back as a lot.

Answer 10

You just said it was a jealous relationship. You two having sex with someone else, even if it is by way of threesome, is only going to add fuel to the fire.