Before I married my Husband I knew he was bisexual. I didn't have a problem with it because I grew up in a very gay friendly house hold. It's been two years now and although his very loving I still have doubts. Bisexual men tell me bisexual men love more, stright men tell me he will always want to me with a guy, stright women tell me he will only be able to love me 50%, what's the truth?
2007-01-23 14:29:28 · 42 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
Love is not sex and sex is not love (no matter what 9 out of 10 teenaged boys will tell you!) and his bisexuality, and ability to be sexually attracted to men and women does not translate into a percentage that he will be able or available to love you, his wife.
Love is in the head and the heart and that is why we are able, as I assume you were, to marry someone when you realize you love them more than all the others (even though you may have had sex with others and may be sexually attracted to others from time to time in the future...all normal behavior, even for married folks).
Bisexuals (and I know many), men and women, can also tell you tthat just by virtue of being bisexual, they are not necessarily sexually attacted to men and women in a clean 50-50% breakdown. Some have a passing physical attraction to the same sex but have their most intense loving feelings for members of the opposite sex, some are vice-versa (and some are really 50/50). Each person is different and only your husband, and to a close extent, you, know where your husband falls.
What's striking and most important here, though, is that you loved him and trusted him enough to marry him and he, already truthful with you (so he wasn't marrying to run from his deep, dark, secret), chose to marry you, too. You also say he is still loving...so where do your doubts come from?
If they are from insecurity that you hold deep inside, something tells me you might be worried about whether your straight husband was finding other women more attractive than you, or if it's insecurity borne from what all these other people are saying, you have to remember that they are thinking out loud about something they'd probably not given all that much thought to prior to discussing it with you...and making a lot of assumptions that come from things they've heard, not personal experience.
You have personal experience, with a man who chose to marry you and two years later still treats you lovingly. Trust him, not your friends and strangers or you will have much bigger problems as the years go on, sadly.
You sound lucky to have landed a guy who treats you well, trusts you enough to be honest and open with you, and, while, yes, anything is possible now or in the future, it would be sad if it was YOUR insecurity or lack of trust (and the doubts and behaviors that come with it) that caused your husband to start loving you less. Don't allow that to happen.
2007-01-24 08:03:01 · answer #1 · answered by B B 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Why wouldn't he?
Sex is not love, love is love. Sex can be an expression of love but the two are not synonymous.
Being bi-sexual means you are attracted to both sexes.
But just like anyone else when a bi-sexual person falls in love, they fall in love. He loves you, he chose you, he married you. That's a pretty big step don't you think. Don't listen to other people, they don't know what the fuc* they're talking about.
People who speak negatively about this usually have issues with bi-sexuality in general. They may deny it but they do.
Keep the lines of communication open between the two of you and leave other people completely out of it.
When you feel yourself starting to get nervous just remember it's more about you than him. Because unless he has given you some reason not to trust him you're just head trippin' a little bit and tell yourself to stop it. Take yourself in hand. Unfortunately it doesn't sound as though you have any unbiased person to confide in outside your marriage. So don't. Rely on each other.
2007-01-23 14:48:45 · answer #2 · answered by octopussy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My bisexual girlfriend loves me more than any straight girl ever has. Just because he might also be attracted to men, those men are no more a threat than attractive women. Bisexuality doesn't make him any less able to love you, as love is about the person, not the options.
Look at a straight man. He'll be attracted to many women, but that does not mean he would love his 1 woman any less.
2007-01-24 06:15:23 · answer #3 · answered by Miakoda 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Lotsa great answers here. Great question.
You're afraid of losing him or of not being loved enough. Well, there are no guarantees in life. You could marry a straight man and have it end badly too.
Do you feel loved by him?? If you do, then all is well and good. If you don't, then you're having problems and it's time to talk to him about them.
And to sort of answer your question, as posed, I don't know your guy. There's a good chance that being bisexual, he could be more in touch with his feminine side. This would make him more relational, more senstitive and more in touch with his feelings than most straight men. You might perceive this as being more loved.
I think you really want to know if he is capable of loving you wholeheartedly. This is only something he can answer. Everyone's unique.
2007-01-23 16:01:27 · answer #4 · answered by ftm_poolshark 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Honestly I think he could love you more than your typical straight man. The reason why is a bi-sexual man will most likely be more in touch with his emotions and have less inhibitions about loving you. Unlike some macho idiot that is emotionally retarded or unavailable.
Think of it this way. Sexual orientation has nothing to do with love really. It's about the connection between two people. You seem to be worried that he may run off with a man or only be able to love you half as much because he finds men attractive, but that is silly. A straight man is just as likely (if not more) to wind up loving some other woman as this guy could wind up loving some other man or woman.
2007-01-23 14:39:49 · answer #5 · answered by DiRTy D 5 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Well, are you a woman or are you a man?
Do you love your parents equally?
I'm pretty sure bisexual people can love both equally too than, and not % wise?
Also, if he married you and you only wouldn't that mean he has devoted 100% to you, or even if you were dating another person how can you look at things like %'s, refer to the above questions please?
If he married you, wouldn't he be commited to you only than if you're having some jealousy issues here it seems?
Maybe you should ask your husband instead of your friends?
2007-01-23 14:34:59 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I am a bisexual woman married to a man. We have been married for 5 years and have 2 children together. I have never cheated on him or even thought about it. I have stuck with him through some very hard times, including his alcholism. I love him very much, more than I have loved anyone else. DOn't doubt your husband due to his sexual orientation. If he truly loves you, bisexuality has absolutely nothing to do with it.
2007-01-23 14:34:42 · answer #7 · answered by Elaine 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Love is more than just sex.
Your husband is open to sex from either side, but he wants to spend his life with you, and you are the one that he loves.
I don't know how liberal your sex life is and who you bring into it; that's your own decision. But, it shouldn't make much difference, unless you let his being bisexual get in the way.
After all to him having an affair with another guy is just as attractive as having an affair with another woman. As long as you keep your relationship interesting, as long as it remains a two-way partnership, and as long as he has fun with you and you love each other then you shouldn't have any problems. Just because there is a bigger pool to swim in doesn't mean that he wants to leave you for it.
The problem is that when men get bored with the relationship the "7 year itch" sets in. Men think more about sex and want it more than most women do. Imagine how much an alcoholic wants to drink and you have an idea of how much a man wants to have sex. Cuddling is nice, but it isn't sex. Women can be perfectly happy in a relationship that only has sex once a month, and when they have children they want sex even less. A man can't live like that he wants much more sex. This is the way we are genetically designed.
For a male the best way to pass on their genes is to breed with as many women as frequently as possible. Hence men can get hard with just a dirty magazine and they climax quickly. For women the best way to pass on their genes is to "catch" a man, hold in a relationship for a long time so he can help take care of the woman and her children. It doesn't matter if you plan on having children or not, your body is designed to have children. This is why women needed more sex and deeper penetration before they climax, it improves the chance of them getting pregnant. When a woman has a child there is a physical change in her brain so that she gets more pleasure from being with her child then from having sex. The man doesn't go through that though, and he will continue to want sex long after a woman goes through menopause and loses interest.
Trust me if you can keep him happy, and give him at least most of the sex he wants to have then you will be able to keep him around for a long time. I know I am making men sound shallow and acting like peacocks, but that is the way we really are.
2007-01-23 14:47:11 · answer #8 · answered by Dan S 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He is an individual. A straight man who loves huge boobs is just as likely to seek out other boobs as a bi man is to seek out sex outside the marriage.
If he is married and faithful he is in a situation where he may have desires for others...men or women...and like any married man he needs to focus on his marriage and not his desires.
The catch is that no matter what you do, your not a man, and if that is a strong desire it is unlikely he will live his entire life without satisfying that desire in some manner....the question is how and are you safe.
2007-01-23 15:55:09 · answer #9 · answered by chuck 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hi alex.. every bisexual person is different, much like every straight person is different.. some people are loyal and faithful, while some are not.
some bisexuals are very capable of being in a monogamous relationship. some, like many straight people, feel they need affairs.
now i will be honest.. there are many bisexuals who do feel the need to be with both man and woman concurrently in their lives.. but if things have gone well for 2 years, i think you are safe...
since you knew about his bisexuality before marriage, he has nothing to hide.. if he ever does feel the need to have more, i'm sure he will talk to you about it instead of cheating..
the bisexuals who tend to cheat are the ones who never told their partner they are bi.
as far as love, i'm sure he loves you equally as much as anyone else in the world could. love is unconditional, and love knows no boundaries.. regardless of orientation..
2007-01-23 14:46:28 · answer #10 · answered by Jeff 4 · 3⤊ 0⤋