Any advice on how to cope with being a very devoted stepmom in a situation where the "real" mother is very neglectful & emotionally abusive? It's tough being stuck in the middle, with no legal rights. My husband and I have filed for custody, but the process is very slow and discouraging. I love my stepchild more than life itself and this process has taken a lot out of me... well, all of us. Any advice or support would be greatly appreciated!
2007-01-23 14:27:41 · 5 answers · asked by Melissa C 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
I was the stepchild with a neglectful, abusive biological mother. My dad married my stepmom when I was 6 and we grew to be best friends. BUT, because I still wanted my "mommy" to love me or even WANT me, if was difficult for both me and my stepmom. Because my bio. mom wasn't there for me, I had all these pent up emotions and unfortunately, I took them out on my stepmom. There were more good times than bad, and I knew who really loved me, even with my bio.mom trying to play games.
It's definitely not an easy job, but it is a rewarding one because that child will know that there is someone there that loves them no matter what happens, and that you are not there to use them.
She will be so grateful for you when she gets old enough to realize the full extent of the situation:)
In my eyes, my stepmom is my Mom and always will be because she was the one wiping my tears when my bio. mom didnt show up for an outing, when I was puking my guts out, when I got beat up, when I got in trouble, when I got dumped, when I got pregnant, married, ect...!
2007-01-23 15:35:07 · answer #1 · answered by patti_jim_reynolds 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'm a stepmom and it is not easy. I love my husband very much but if I could do it over again I would be with someone who did not already have kids. It is so hard sometimes and I am so unhappy right now. I feel like a stranger in my own home. My advice to you would be to get out of the situation and not try to clean up his mess. He made the choose to marry a woman like this and have a child with her, not you. Do not let other people's baggage become yours.
2015-06-26 05:22:11 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Your stepchild needs you, you make more difference than you know. I have a wonderful stepdad that made a huge difference in my life and can tell you that the fight may be long and hard but what it means to your child is worth it. I always introduce my stepdad and my mom as my parents, because that is who they are. Biology is just a butch of cells parents are so much more!
2007-01-23 14:46:03 · answer #3 · answered by Fire's Shaddow 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
im a stepmom and its not easy.just be there for the child and your husband.and let the child no you love them and care for them.and you will be there for them no matter what happens.be a friend and a stepmom.it will be hard because of the real mom.but its not for or your husband is for the child.you can be a friend and a stepmom ,i am.she mite not like ,but who cares.its the child that is getting hurt.they need some one to love and keep them from harm and that is you
2007-01-23 14:55:04 · answer #4 · answered by rebecca_autry2003 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Keep doing what you are doing..love that baby like its your baby...keep being that constant and the rest will work itself out
2007-01-23 14:44:20 · answer #5 · answered by qweenkristina 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋