How old were you when you realized you were gay? What could (or did) a caring adult (parent/grandparent/uncle/aunt) make your life easier or better, in dealing with becoming a happy healthy adult?
2007-01-23 13:15:32 · 14 answers · asked by bugged to death 5 in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
Please I am not implying a young gay person needs counselling or help. I am trying to be a supportive relative to a young person. I am not a boy or gay so I can not specifically relate to his situation.
2007-01-23 13:28:47 · update #1
I was probably 13 or 14 when I realized that I was gay, although it took me longer to accept it. I didn't tell my parents until this year. I am 20. Any parent who has a gay child must realize that there is nothing at all wrong with being gay and that it is completely normal. They need to make that clear to their child too. Parents have got to be understanding and caring when their child does decide to tell them that they are gay. Any parent who is struggling with accepting their children must ask themselves, "Why should I treat my child any differently than I have been?" They are the same person, they just happen to have a different sexual orientation.
2007-01-23 13:26:14 · answer #1 · answered by Hmmm... 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
i think that i had some idea that i was gay ever since i was a very little kid. i think my first crush on a boy happened when i was 7 or 8. but i didn't realize that i was gay until i was 12. my parents did not make my life any easier by telling me that gay people get aids and go to hell. i am 18 now and i still haven't tolled my parents that i am gay.
2007-01-23 22:51:27 · answer #2 · answered by joe s 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I knew I had crushes on guys in high school and college. But acknowledging that I was gay was a long drawn out unfulfilling process. My parents let me know early on that they wouldn't approve of me being gay (two crushes came to their attention), that it wasn't acceptable. The threat was there that they wouldn't love or accept me, even if it wasn't spoken. Parents are your world. Of course, that was a time when homosexuality was still listed as a mental disease and a criminal offense, so society wasn't much help in persuading my parents to feel otherwise.
Then there was the matter of my being in love with a much younger boy next door when I was in college. He was straight, athletic, bright, musically talented, and handsome, but needed a caring man in his life to steer him away from bad influences. His parents hit him often (had too many kids too soon). I didn't know what to do about how I felt about him, and the only message from society (and my parents) was NO! and DON'T! His mother told me that he died when he was 21 but she wouldn't tell me what happened. I will always love him (brother, son, friend, lover) and always wonder if I could have saved him if I had known what I could be in his life or understood myself better.
To answer your question: encourage your friend to talk out his feelings and desires without judging him or what he says. That's all any of us want or need. Just listen to him and accept that he know what he feels.
2007-01-23 21:37:17 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I really can't say an age since I have always known. I have always known that I liked boys and not girls. I remember having crushes on my male friends in elementary school. I am not out at all as of right now. My friends and family could make my life easier if they stated three things...
1) Homosexuality is not a sin, despite what SOME bibles state.
2) Homosexuality it perfectly "normal."
3) Homosexuality is something that all heterosexuals should accept openly and fully.
2007-01-23 21:26:06 · answer #4 · answered by N♂t - ♂ut - Yet 4 · 2⤊ 1⤋
i realized i was gay when i was about 16 but i kept on denying it till i was 24 or so...The best thing a relative can do to make it easier for you it is just to be normal about it. I remember the first person i told about my homosexuality: she was telling me something about her, and then she did a pause and i said to her: "I am gay". It cost me so much to tell her so, and know what she did? She said to me: Ok! and she carried on talking about her thing.! That was the best anyone could have ever done for me. She didnt give any importance to it, she un-dramatize the situation. I think that is the best anyone can do.
2007-01-23 21:24:56 · answer #5 · answered by whoknows 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I knew when I was very young, probably around 8 or 9.
My first experience at 18, came out at 21.
2007-01-23 21:36:34 · answer #6 · answered by Kedar 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I knew I was bi when I was about 5 to be honest when I started having crushes on guys and girls that I knew or met, ect.
I think just being open and not living a lie can be healthy?
It all depends on the person you're asking?
2007-01-23 21:43:47 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sometime prior to freshman in high school. The exact time is something I blocked because of family responsibilities, chores and the death of a parent. It was the summer between sophmore and junior year that my Dad and I had a talk where I made him aware and he gave me really good advice on how to conduct myself.
2007-01-23 22:25:42 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
I knew or came to be comfortable wih the fact I was gay at age 18. My entire family supported me. They still do. I am no different.
2007-01-23 21:22:03 · answer #9 · answered by digitaldancer22 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
They just need someone they respect,feel comfortable with, and is their confident. I think an adult of the opposite sex is great, but do not push,pry or judge. Just be there when they need someone to talk to. OH BTW
there are plenty trolls online that would love to help him.
2007-01-24 01:35:20 · answer #10 · answered by JUSTIN C 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋