Ok, I am 15, and I just found out that one of my Ex girlfriends has a 6 month old baby boy that is mine. I am not sure what to do. I mean, I know he's mine. She told me that she doesn't want to me have to pay child support, because she REALLY wanted the baby, but I didn't. After our little fling, she didn't call me back. I then moved with my parents to another city, not too far away. I then saw her on MySpace a few weeks ago, and I got her number. I called her, and we talked. She says that in order for me to not have to pay(because I don't have a job, i'm only 15, I didn't want this in the first place), I can't see my son. I really want to be a part of my son's life, but I don't know if that's possible. Someone, please give me some advice!
2007-01-23 13:05:25 · 19 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Adolescent
well, the conciquences of you having sex at 15 was a baby, whether you think she should have kept it or not. Yes. You are entitled to child support. If she really wants to, she can still take you to court on that. if you want to see your baby, that's going to mean that you will be assuming responcibility for him, and you should be contributing something to his welfare. You cant just have the privlage of stopping into its life when it feels convinient. Pay up, kid.
2007-01-23 13:11:21 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
First you DON'T know that the baby is yours. You need a paternity test to determine that, for everyone's sake including the baby's (in case a family history is ever needed for health reasons).
Second, your ex needs all the financial help she can get and she's in no position to blow off support money. She's way too immature to make that decision and jeopardize the baby's welfare.
Third, the sad fact is that teen fathers have zero rights and 100% responsibility. You need to provide for the child's expenses until he's 18, starting now, if he in fact is yours, but unfortunately that doesn't mean you are entitled to be part of his life. That's the price you pay for doing an adult thing with a boy's body and judgment.
You definitely need some adults you know and trust to help you and your ex sort out what to do, not the advice of strangers on the Internet. You also need legal advice. Just because your ex says she doesn't want your help now doesn't keep her from changing her mind at any time in the future. Talk with someone close to you, parents, uncle, school counselors, Child Protective Services if necessary. I'm sorry you're in this bind, my friend, and I sincerely wish you well.
2007-01-23 22:10:24 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Legally, you are allowed to see your son. You may need your parents to help you get a court order to this effect because she can't deny you that right if you're the father. What it sounds like she's suggesting is that she claim you can't be found and that way you won't have to pay child support. Either way, if you do have to pay child support, your parents might be the ones who end up paying until you actually get a job. It all depends on all the legalities of the court, etc. IF SHE DOESN'T FILL OUT THE FORM TO APPLY FOR CHILD SUPPORT, THEN YOU DON'T HAVE TO PAY CHILD SUPPORT UNLESS YOU WANT TO.
What I do suggest, even if you're "sure" it's your baby, is that you get a blood test done to make sure the baby is really yours. TRUST ME, you do not want to assume anything and it works out much better in the future so things can't get complicated, etc. This way, she won't be able to say that it's not yours and that she lied so that you will not come around, etc.
Do everything the legal way and you can't go wrong!
And although I do agree (to some extent) with some of the other comments on here about you taking responsibility for your actions, etc., I do not think ANYONE has the right to judge you because you chose those actions.
2007-01-23 21:17:19 · answer #3 · answered by Work@Home 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
OK regardless of the whole not using protection when u should have and having sex a too young of an age...there is a little boy to think of hear....if u really want to be a part of his life u can, yes u r only 15, but u can get a job...dishwasher at a restaurant, paperboy, heck man mow lawns if u have to, he is your son and u have the right to see him...if she says no than u can tell her will take her to court...u will not owe any back pay ion support due to her not telling u he was yours in the 1st place...if u really want to be a part of his life fight for him...i am a single mother to 2 little girls and their father walked out on them, i would give anything for him to just be a dad...your son will appreciate u in the long run...trust me...good luck and congratulations on your son....
PS...What is his name??? just out of curiosity
2007-01-23 22:54:20 · answer #4 · answered by eyesopen16 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
calm down, and breathe. this is alot to take in all at once. you need some time to think about this.
she really can't stop you from seeing your son if you want to. unless you're some kinda child molester. /jk
i'm not sure about child support. my brother pays it every week, yet hasn't seen his kids for 12 years. my sister's ex doesn't pay, but he can see his kid whenever he wants. it just depends. you need to go talk to someone like at human resources, or social services, so they can tell you what options you have.
and if you're on the birth certificate, then you'll probably have to pay in any case. if not, you'd have to get a DNA test first.
2007-01-23 21:13:22 · answer #5 · answered by political junkie 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
first of all, always use condoms so this does not happen again!! 2nd of all, tell your parents. Get a paternity test. your ex girlfriend is wrong, visitation does NOT depend on child support. You and your parents need to contact an attorney or if you cannot afford that , contact your local Friend of the Court for advice on how to proceed.
2007-01-24 12:47:37 · answer #6 · answered by Angela C 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She can't do that; it's against the law. You are allowed to see your child. Your son needs a man to look up to in life, and that man should definently be its own father. Just talk to your ex about that, and get a job. You two are the ones that got yourselves into this mess, and you two are the ones that have to get yourselves out.
2007-01-24 14:52:30 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
o honey listen you need to see your son! most boys who grow up without daddy's turn into punky little gangsters and you know you do not want that. you need to get a dna test...even if you know its yours you really should still get one. child support wont force you to pay until your 18 but you should still get a job. this is your baby too. Please be a good daddy and dont just be another teen statistic. watching your son grow will be the happiest times of your life even if it means a little extra hard work.
2007-01-23 21:16:52 · answer #8 · answered by n&z-mama 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
are you serious? why are you having sex at 14?
you need to get a very expensive DNA test done to determine if this child is yours. how can you even have a fling at 14?
you said so yourself, you are too young for this. if you thought of this 15 mths ago, you would have kept it in your pants, and waited until you could at least driven a car.
you going to ask your mommy for a ride to see your baby?
talk to a lawyer. of course, that would mean telling your parents, and asking them to pay for the lawyer.
2007-01-23 21:45:41 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
i cant believe u people have sex and have children at the age of 15 which is way too young, any way she cant stop u from seeing ur son he is yous and if she dosent get the govenment after u for child support than thats good because if she does and u dont pay the govenment will be after u it happened to my dad but i say u tell ur parents
2007-01-23 21:11:20 · answer #10 · answered by Orlinda K 4 · 3⤊ 0⤋