Sorrow can build up into something much more then any one person can handle. It'll come with no warning it could come today, or tomorrow it'll come with no rhyme, no reason it's your body's way of performing an act of treason. Sorrow can turn a man into a boy, a silhouette of what he once was. A silohette a simple, harmless being until sorrow gets ahold of it then it turns into a ruthless, hurtful monster hurting everyone and everything around it. Sorrow is like a cancerous tumor eating away at your soul slowly and painfully, until finally you find a release for your soul ventalation for your frustrationl; you yell, you scream, and you weep, and just when it seems everything is getting better sorrow comes back and slaps you in the face reminding you, you can't get rid of it.
2007-01-23 12:52:13 · 3 answers · asked by As she sees me I AM A GOD! 2 in Social Science ➔ Psychology
I like it's weird rythem, I think the middle part should be revised a bit the part about sorrow getting a hold of it. It doesn't flow with the rest of it. I think it's a good start, an original feeling and a unique beat!
2007-01-23 13:06:33 · answer #1 · answered by suprsarah 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Errr... A TON of trite phrases. Grammar could use a little work. Subject is a little overused, but for a first, it's not so bad.
2007-01-23 12:56:40 · answer #2 · answered by Kelly 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It may be a good start. Just go ahead!
2007-01-23 14:11:24 · answer #3 · answered by Mayu 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋