Any ideas how to tell my family and friends that im gay??

Question

Well my parents come from a very strict religous background and I want to tell them im gay, so i can be closer with my family and friends.

I just wanted to say thanks to everyone with their answers and help.

I just wanted to say thanks to everyone with their answers and help.

Answer 1

It can be a tremendously difficult decision, and in the end only you can decide what to do. Some things you might want to consider: is there any possibility that they might withdraw college money or kick you out of the house? how have they reacted to GLBTQ people in the past? can you answer questions that they are likely to ask, such as "How long have you known?" and "Are you sure?", can you defend yourself if they say you chose to be gay?, are you prepared for them to be angry/in denial/sad/seemingly apathetic?, do you have some literature or information about a local GSA to give them? are there any other big issues facing them at the time?

Coming out can be a terrifying thing, but it can also be very wonderful. Last summer, I was in a situation rather similar to yours (my mom is a devout catholic and my dad is homophobic) but my parents actually took it fantastically well. I personally would not worry so much about telling your friends... make sure that you tell them when you are in private so that they feel comfortable asking questions, and expect them to be somewhat shocked too.

Once you've come out, though, I think you will find that you're a much happier and freer person. It's really nice not to have to hide something like that and just be able to express it as a part of who you are!

Good luck!

Answer 2

Jesse, It is my firm belief that parents already know. They have been around their children far more than other family members and even friends. When they hear it from you it will probably be no surprise. That doesn't mean they will accept it right away because that would mean that they have to consider the possibility that they had a hand in your eventual sexual orientation, through your upbringing -- and they will think that for a while.

There's a lot of denial going on with the parents of LGBT children.

Your parents will come to accept you if they don't right away. Friends are different. Some too may have a sense that you are not "exactly straight," but others will be shocked or in their own denial and some will drift away and have nothing to do with you. Many times it has been found out that LGBT people who come out essentially have to go out and develop a whole new friendship web, one where their new friends know from the beginning that the person they are dealing with socially is not straight.

Answer 3

Well everyone else has given great advice on how to actually come out of the closet, so I can't really say anything that hasn't been said.

Whether you come out or not, I would seriously contemplate joining PFLAG. If you're feeling particularly brave, you can invite your parents as well. The group has done wonders in helping children cope with their sexuality and their parents with dealing with a world that isn't always compassionate towards their GLBT children.

Answer 4

All you can really do is come right out and tell them. First your parents, then your friends. Out of respect your parents should come first. Tell your parents you need to have a serious discussion with them. Be prepared for some shocked reaction, possibly some yelling and crying. Hopefully though, they will surprise you and accept and respect your choice right off. If they don't right away, give it time. They are your parents and they love you unconditionally. They will come around once they get over the initial shock. As for your friends. This will be a good test to see who your true friends really are.

Answer 5

This is one of the most difficult things that you will ever do in your life, and you've got to do it.
Your friend should not be so difficult.
Start with somebody who's close and you're pretty sure will be understanding.
You will get a boost of confidence when you do this.
Tell people on a need-to-know basis.
People who are going to hassle you don't need to know.
Are you financially dependent on your parents?
Perhaps it would be best not to tell them until you have moved out and self-supporting.
Even so your parents must be told sooner or later.
If they die without knowing, you will blame yourself for ever after.
Good luck

Answer 6

How good are you with a PowerPoint presentation?
Just kidding.
Religion or not, you are still their son. It may be hard for them to hear, and they may not understand. Tell your friends first, that way you can get reactions. Only tell the parents when you are comfortable to do so. For a lot of people this is after they leave home. That way if it is a negative reaction, you can be somewhere else.

Answer 7

Be honest. And unfortunately, you have to be willing to accept the fact that some people will not be happy with you being gay. But, you also have to be true to yourself above everyone else, no matter what. My son is gay...and I love him more than anything in the world. I have always been supportive of his sexuality, I hope your family is as well. Good luck, sweetheart!

Answer 8

Sit down with them and tell them in a loving way. Tell them they are great parents who have always supported you (if that's true) and that you hope they will continue to do so. It's best to tell them BEFORE you have a partner - or at least before you introduce them to a partner. Tell them too that you know that their religious background might not jive with what you're doing - but that you hope they won't pass judgement. If nobody knows yet - then tell your parents before you tell your friends.

What a blessing that it is 2007 and homosexuality is more and more accepted everyday. Society hasn't embraced it as well as it should - but it's getting there.

Good luck to you!

Answer 9

Have a dinner party and hang a banner that says welcome to my dinner party and by the way I'm gay, surprise!
Seriously though, that would be hilarious and it would serve to put the point across that it doesn't have to be a big deal.
Otherwise just sit them down and tell them that you do not want to hide details of you life so they need to know that you are gay.
They may have a negative reaction, they may not who knows?
If they do just get and say you will not endure their verbal abuse and walk out. They will need time to cool down and get their heads around the situation.
good luck.

Answer 10

Watch the movie "In and Out" The one with Tom Selleck and Kevin Kline. At the end of the movie, spring it on them that you are like Tom Selleck's or Kevin Kline's Character. Be sure to wear the same type of clothing they wear in the movie.

But do so only after you have a place to stay in case they disown you or kick you out of the house.