my girlfriend and I have a daily routine where she calls me at 10pm so we can talk before going to bed. The other night she was 10 minutes late and so i txtd her and told her i was taking a shower and to call me in 15 minutes. Well i was done with my shower and waiting for her to call me... she eventually calls me around 11 pm. I asked her what she was doing and she says talking to her mom and that she was sorry. I confronted her and asked her if she was talking to my brother instead, and she said no but she had talked to him earlier and that she wasnt lying. I believed her and told her ok. We had an unusually silent conversation for about another 10 minutes until i told her i was going to bed. The next day I was just too curious to stop so i checked my brothers phone and she had infact been tlaking to him... since 9PM! she even txtd him back at 11:30 and told him not to tell me about it. I confronted her and she was sorry... and now we havnt talked in 2 days... what to do?
2007-01-23 12:30:00 · 13 answers · asked by john e 1 in Politics & Government ➔ Law & Ethics
My girlfriend and my brother dated 4 years ago. it was short and I know they are not emotionally attached it was just a casual conversation. the fact that she talked to my brother doesnt bother me its the fact that she lied to me about it and even when i asked her "are you lying" she insisted she wasnt and she only tells me the truth. When I confronted her about it she wouldnt say a word all she said was she couldnt beleive i snooped on her, and that it was only a small lie and im blowing it out of proportion. I love this girl to death. and since this point I thought we always told her the truth, i told her this and she responded with it isnt going to be the same anymore... Was I at fault for snooping... what should I do?
2007-01-23 12:30:18 · update #1
Dump the Bitc*!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
2007-01-23 12:37:46 · answer #1 · answered by All in 9121 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
As much as you probably don't want to hear this I too am all for you calling the relationship to a end. Firstly why did she find the need to lie over something so small if it didn't mean something to her. She may possibly be thinking of engaging a relationship and or already has. Then again she could have just lost track of time on the phone talking. Either way it does not excuse the fact she lied. If you two have always been honest and upfront with one another there should be no reason for her to lie about something like that unless she is trying to hide something. You should also stop and ask yourself if you truly believe this is the first lie. Sometimes things aren't what they seem and hind sight is 20/20. Plainly if she has lied about this who's to say she won't do it in the future. And as for her making you feel guilty well from a psychological point of view most people who are lying tend to become angry and try and divert the attention from themselves and place the blame else where. Just something to think about. Either way you choose best of luck to you.
2007-01-23 12:49:40 · answer #2 · answered by Butterfli 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
ok can i just say that maybe this is being blown slightly out of proportion? Has no one whose answered this question completely freaked out when being interogated? especially since you sound a little like you're not entirely comfortable with the fact that they dated- I dont know maybe she wasnt completely honest with you, but maybe it wasnt because she's doing something with your brother so much as she was talking to your brother and didnt tell you because she didnt want you to freak out. I am a girl and I've been in one or two relationships where I've felt guilty when i had no material reason to be, mostly because I knew my boyfriend would jump to the entirely wrong end of the stick and twist an innocent situation. Maybe she's just guilty of that...
Also, you have to ask yourself, at this stage, do you care about her enough to work through this, do you trust her enough, and do you trust your brother enough? Also just a note, the looking through the phone thing...never a good idea, you always only end up with enough facts to seem incriminating but never enough to be concrete so you're screwed either way, better to respect privacy and live in happy ignorance.
2007-01-23 13:43:44 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
that's the two the fact or a lie there's no semi for the two one. i think of that the entire actuality grow to be too a lot for you and now you're already feeling some guilt or you does no longer have asked this question. in case you love her tell her the fact step up and be a guy. reason if she shows out in any different case from yet another man or woman how can you clarify that?
2016-11-26 22:09:12 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sweetheart, you have no reason to feel guilty! What she did was wrong. You deserve much better. You say you have been honest with her from the start. The blame is on her for lying. It is okay to have secrets, even healthy, but lying is something completly different. What you do is your choice, but I personally in a situation like that would break it off. Good luck. I wish you love and happiness in future relationships.
2007-01-23 12:45:26 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
Maybe she lied because she knew you’d be upset even if the conversation was completely innocent. Frankly, it sounds to me like you might be a little controlling.
2007-01-23 16:55:31 · answer #6 · answered by kp 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Awkward situation, I think she may be up to something otherwise she wouldn't have lied she could have said she was talking to your brother if it wasn't a big deal, I think you may need to find
a nother girlfriend .. one who is not a liar!! and that can be trusted!! Sorry!
2007-01-23 12:40:41 · answer #7 · answered by michelle b 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
You honestly want me to tell you what you should do?
Okay. . .
Since honesty is the basis for any relationship, and it is honest that she hasn't been honest with you, then maybe it will not work out. And since trust is another important element, and it is blatantly obvious that you don't trust her, I am thinking that it is right there.
Dump her @$$ and find yourself another. It isn't going to work out in the long haul. Cut your losses now.
2007-01-23 12:40:57 · answer #8 · answered by volleyballchick (cowards block) 7 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Break your relationship with her. Confront your brother about what happened.
2007-01-23 12:39:21 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You need to ask yourself if talking to your brother was so innocent, then why was lying about it her first instinct?
I suggest you ask your brother what's going on.
2007-01-23 12:36:52 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
is this somehow a legal question? no...
you might get better answers in the adolescent section.
dump her and move on.
2007-01-23 15:22:23 · answer #11 · answered by pinwheelbandit 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋