My ex-husband was in and out of my 9-year-old daughter's life for her first few years. Last year was the first year he was around during Christmas. All the years he was gone, I spent holidays with his family because I have no family in the area and I get along well with them. Her gifts went to my home.
This year, I gave my daughter's gift list to his family at their request and attended their late Christmas celebration (mid-January). My ex-husband didn't attend because he was out of town for work. My ex-husband said he wants the gifts my daughter gets from HIS family to go to HIS house. Some of the gifts would get more use at our house, as she is with her father only every other weekend.
Is this typical protocol? This is the first year that I have had to deal with this situation and would like input from others who have been through this.
2007-01-23 12:16:53 · 21 answers · asked by Mom in the Circle 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
"KAT" IS RIGHT,........ LET THE CHILD DECIDE. TRY TO REMEMBER THAT THESE GIFTS ARE JUST "THINGS". AND "THINGS CAN ALWAYS BE REPLACED."
THE REAL GIFTS "ARE OF THE HEART" AND THE BEST GIFT YOU COULD EVER GIVE YOUR CHILD IS THE LORD JESUS.
2007-01-31 09:11:39 · answer #1 · answered by Blueryno 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It doesn't matter at all where the gifts come from. It only matters where they will be used. I would say keep the bulk of things at the main residence and send a smaller amount to the secondary housing, no matter where they came from, making sure there is a balance of fun and educational things at each home.
Also, he needs to understand that he doesn't make these rules unilaterally. He's been gone a long time, he'll just have to learn to go with the flow. If he has an issue with that, he should tell his family to send the gifts to his house in the first place. But I'm betting he'd be too embarrassed to do that.
Good luck.
2007-01-30 16:12:18 · answer #2 · answered by Vix 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My daughter with my ex is almost seven, and his family get my daughter things all the time. He is a great dad to her...and realizes that while he has her about three weekends a month, and occasionally a night during the week here and there...her stuff should stay with her. Most of her things remain at my house as the bulk of her time is spent with me. I allow her to take them back and forth, maximizing the use she get from them. Talk to his family since you seem to have a good relationship with them. I am sure they want your child to get the most use out of the gifts that they have purchased.
2007-01-31 14:12:02 · answer #3 · answered by christina s 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My daughter's Christmas gifts from his side of the family stays at his house. The gifts I buy her stay at my house. The only thing is she seems to never have time to play with anything because she is always back and forth.
2007-01-28 15:34:21 · answer #4 · answered by Lynn N 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Have you asked your daughter to decide what she wants? if she doesn't care then let them be at his house then next year you need to buy her things for your house if that is how he is going to play this game cuz the only person that looks bad here is him for keeping the gifts that she got at a house that she only gets to goto on the weekends. that's not really far to her but he pobably looks at it like he won something cuz all her christmas is with him and that will make her wanna be there.. so i guess give in and let him win this one but remember there is always more to follow.... good luck i don't know how you do it.. that seems really hard.
2007-01-30 15:51:50 · answer #5 · answered by ? 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I hate to read about controlling *** holes like your ex-husband trying to controll his daughter. Hes working an angle and that is to make his daughter think its more fun at his house than yours because of the toys, clothes ect... Those are her gifts and if they come with strings attached dont let her become a puppet.
2007-01-30 05:40:48 · answer #6 · answered by lovie12346 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I agree with Kat. There her gifts. Tell her some stuff has to go over to Daddy's house so there are things there for her, but have her decide which ones. Just because it's his family giving them, doesn't mean he gets to control things. Good Luck
2007-01-30 14:49:35 · answer #7 · answered by ? 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If your ex has just recently returned to your daughter's life and things are going well I would recommend you pick and choose your battles. This one sounds pretty minor. I agree that they would get more use in your home BUT if this is what he wants let him win this one. You might have bigger issues to deal with later.
2007-01-29 20:28:19 · answer #8 · answered by mimegamy 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i Have two kids and we had the same thing happen for Christmas. I told my ex that it was my child's choice on where the toys would go. they both usually take the ones they want back and forth that way they have something familiar at both houses
2007-01-31 18:11:32 · answer #9 · answered by fdragoneyesonme 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Perhaps your daughter should decide. Ask her what gifts she would like taken to her father and what gifts she wants left with you. They are your daughter's gifts so go with what she wants to do.
2007-01-30 00:02:20 · answer #10 · answered by smilingtalker_au 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell the jerk to get over it . Your daughters home is with you they are her gifts . I cant believe the guy is such a baby you did good divorcing him. Tell the creep to stop thinking about himself .
LOL: THE GUY HAS GOT TO BE A BIG TURD
2007-01-31 18:59:06 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋