Tough Situation! =/?

Question

Consider this:

I recently decided to start attending college, yet my family is criticizing my decision. They argue that i should focus on working so i can start earning money. When i begin school, they fear i'll not have as much time to spend with family. Not to mention, my family worries that college will change me—that i will become too “mainstream.” As the first person in my family to pursue higher education, i thinks my family members have a prejudicial attitude towards higher education and that they should accept my decision. Am I wrong?



If you were me, how would you address your family’s criticisms of and attitudes about higher education?

How would you try to convince family members that going to college is a worthwhile endeavor?

Answer 1

If their concern is that you should start making money -- let them know that on average college graduates make $20,000 per year more than high school graduates. Not only that -- their level of satisfaction with their jobs is much higher.

Answer 2

There is an old saying, that "The people who hold you back the most, are your family and friends."

The reason for this, is if you grow (go to college, get a better paying job, buy a house when they don't own one) - then your friends feel like they are a failure if THEY do not keep up with you. Maybe they do not have the ability to move ahead, or the drive/ambition to move ahead - so its easier to just discourage you. They know you well enough, to bring up pieces of your fears and concerns as reasons why you should not move ahead. And they will make try to pull you away from your goals by getting you involved in other things.

Maybe the best approach is to know this, but not to tell them you understand their real reason for telling you NOT TO. (They may not realize the real reason they are telling you not to go.)

Do not tell them the full truth. By this I mean, tell them you have always wonder/wanted to go to college - and this is your chance to try it for 1 or 2 semesters. After all, 1-2 semesters doesn't mean you will be getting a degree. This approach avoids a full-blown fight with them. Tell them after you try this, then you will decided whether to continue or to get a fulltime job. It is hard to argue to someone that they should not "TRY" something.

Since you are only "trying" college for 1 or 2 semesters, instead of going the full 4 years - they will not feel as threatened as they would if you had signed up for 4 years.

They have developed their attitudes over a life-time. Because of this, you will not be able to get them to change their attitudes. And any reasons you can present - to them is theories. Where is your proof?

(After all, Bill Gates didn't graduate from college. And something like 40% of the people who start college do not graduate.)

You might also tell them, that you will get a job during the summer.

When I went to college, I worked for the college. That way, between classes, I could stop at my workstation and get a couple of hours of paid work in. And if there was no work to be done, I could work on my homework (and get paid while I did it. - This is the work-study program.)

I did a variety of scheduling tricks to graduate in 3 1/2 years instead of 4 years. One year during the summer, I took chemistry classes during the days and worked for the college at night. Next summer, I worked full-time during the day but while I was there - took night classes.

Another option you might consider, is to get a job at the college (maintenance, landscaping, HVAC repairs, whatever). Being an employee will mean you can take some classes for free.

The bottom line, really is that you are a young adult and you have to set your own goals and go after them. If you want it, go after it - and you will probably get it.

Answer 3

If a higher education is what you seek, you have every right to pursue that goal. If your family is giving you a hard time, bring up how having a college degree will make you more employable, how you would also be earning a lot more money. Let them know that many college grads earn their degree and grow up before entering the corporate world. If they still give you a hard time, just keep your head on your shoulders, and shoot for the stars.

Answer 4

It's wonderful that you want to pursue your education to the next level. You should not let this goal go.

Re: your family. It will take time, but hopefully they'll adjust. You're an adult now, and you should make this decision and go for it. Tell them you're sorry if/that they don't undersand, but that this is something you need/want to do. Assure them that while there will be many demands on your time, that you will do your best to maintain your strong family relationships...but they may need to be patient with you at times. Tell them you love them and you will carry the lessons that they have taught you forever.

Tell them you hope they can understand and that one day they'll be proud of your decision.