Ever since the 6th grade i have thought i was bi. In 7th grade i decided i was. I have just started telling people but i am affraid of what my parents and best friend are going to say when i tell them. How should i tell them? Will my friend act differently around me???
2007-01-23 12:01:51 · 9 answers · asked by Stupid Me. 1 in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
Unless things have REALLY changed, most 6th and 7th graders aren't having sex with anyone but themselves at that age, so, quite honestly, their sexuality doesn't *have* to extend beyond that circle of one if they don't want it to. Your sexuality is this great thing that you are going to explore and get to know more and more about as you go deeper into puberty and grow through your late teens and early 20s. [It's one of the reasons old folks (I'm actually only 28 :-) like me always tell kids not to rush into sex itself...there's a lot to discover and figure out on your own before you put someone else's expectations and needs on your plate as well.]
As long as they aren't your sexual partner (whom you do have some responsibility to--see my earlier point), no one has a right to know what you're thinking about and exploring within your own head, fantasies, and that includes questions (and answers) about sexual orientation. Just because you have come to some early truths (and you are lucky in that way, because some people wrestle with sexual orientation into their old age), there's no requirement or responsibility for you to make an announcement to your parents, friends, anybody--and you're NOT being a dishonest person if you don't.
Why do I point that out? Because it probably WILL be a shock to your parents and some (but not all) of your friends might treat you differently, and most likely will, at least for a while. It will become, at least for the present, the *one* thing people see you as, label you with, and want to ask/talk to you about. (That's always true when someone's different, and it's especially true if you're a parent and a child has opened up a dialogue about non-traditional sexuality at an age where you're really afraid to make a wrong move and be a bad parent.) Your sexuality is just a part of you--a very special, sacred, part of you, but still only part of you--and you have a long way to go at 13 or so to finding out about the rest of you. You do this through friends, classes, TV and movies, conversations with parents, watching neighbors, all the things teens do...and you grow into who you will be as an adult through these experiences.
If you set up a situation where suddenly all the focus and conversation and give and take in your life revolves around one thing, you cheat yourself of the chance to be a "normal" kid with normal kid experiences--and you ARE normal, whatever your sexuality, and grow up as such.
I do not encourage lying about yourself, to yourself, or being ashamed of who you are. But I do encourage a kid to be a kid...and even though you probably feel grown up, you are a kid and this is just one of a million personal discoveries you need to allow yourself to have on your own time in your own way.
A final point is unpleasantness...there are people who are close minded, even people who hate, and sometimes those people do incredibly hurtful (emotionally and physically) things. When you are an adult like me, it is often a worthwhile trade-off to deal with jerks like that in order to be true to who you are. However, when you are an adult you also get to choose where you live, go to school, hang out, go to church, work, who you live with, etc. As a kid you make almost none of those choices. Without that choice, you may find yourself, thanks to some horrible person, place, or thing, trapped in a nightmare. I don't wish this on anyone and I don't even say it would happen to you in your situation, but if you have no escape, you have to think, on a practical level, of whether or not being out and open with this information does enough for you to justify the drawbacks.
If you feel like you have to tell someone, pick a friend, or older teen, or teacher carefully. Pretty much go to someone you know will NOT react negatively. This is easier to do in this day and age (even from when I was in middle school) because people are always talking about gay issues, gay celebrities, gay TV characters, or "what if" so-and-so was gay. Listen carefully to read between the lines to see who has a modern, open outlook or not. If you find one solid confidante, that will give you someone to talk to so you don't feel like you'll explode, while letting you play out the rest of your life on your own, ho-hum, regular, normal-kid timetable.
I hope this helps! And good luck to you,
[p.s. Everyone talks about sex at that age, and that's totally normal, and you should probably know that this is when kids (guys in particular) get really good at LYING about their sex life (or lack thereof) too. So don't ever feel pressured to do or be made to feel anything by what those around you are saying--go with your gut and the moral compass you were raised with and enjoy exploring your sexuality at your OWN pace and you'll know what that pace is...]
2007-01-24 10:26:13 · answer #1 · answered by B B 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm also bi,however,I'm 40. I didn't bother to act on it until I was 36. I only told my immediate family and some close friends. Nobody knew,wasn't like it's anyone's business either,so,why bother? Especially if you're young,you might change,you might not,but either way,it's nobody's business of your preference.
2007-01-23 21:33:36 · answer #2 · answered by dragonfly 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just tell them I never would have known my friends was until she told me after I told her & no we are goin out I am in 6th too & I even told my mom.
She didn't care.
2007-01-23 20:44:11 · answer #3 · answered by gangstalicous_chicanamama 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
When was the last time someone came up to you and told you they were straight?
2007-01-24 01:50:46 · answer #4 · answered by JUSTIN C 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have to ask---why do your parents need to know who you have sex with? You aren't old enough or mature enough to have sex with either gender.
2007-01-23 21:30:05 · answer #5 · answered by Miz Val 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
"Mom, dad I'm bi."
"Could you pass the ______ to the bisexual?"
"You know that guy/girl that I was talking to you about heh?"
2007-01-23 20:16:59 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
why would you tell them that . i hope you dont hate them .
unless you plan on having sex with them dont tell them
2007-01-24 07:20:30 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You don't need to tell any one about your preference to have sex with,it is your very private business.
2007-01-23 20:07:32 · answer #8 · answered by Vannili 6 · 0⤊ 2⤋
hand out flyers
2007-01-23 20:29:58 · answer #9 · answered by Kedar 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋