I don't know how to bounce back from this...losing my beloved horse?

Question

So it's bad enough that my boyfriend (yesterday was our 6 mon.) that yesterday i gave him his week's break to sort things out, then found out from another source that he was with someone else already. Her voice on his voicemail and everything.......so last night I was down at the barn before this and my 23-yr-old Arab mare Chester wouldn't get up.....so today I came down and she still couldn't, so I called the vet. He was really worried, so one of the partners came out to look at her. Right away he said it was liver failure, and we had to put her down. She was my first horse, and now I have nothing but memories. I cant run down to see her, and have her shove her forehead against me to be rubbed. It took at least 20 min to find a vein she was so collapsed. I am trying to be with God, but it's so hard....I love her more than imaginable, she taught me everything about horses....I just don't know how to go on without her. I'm worried about the other 2 horses and how we will cope..

I've had her for almost 7 years, and I just cant let that go.......what can I do to heal? God Bless all of you that can help. Thanks SO much....

Answer 1

I am so sorry for your loss. Horses are big animals, and they leave an even bigger hole in our hearts when they go. Find solace with your other horses. Comfort them, and they will comfort you. Begin spending a lot of time with them, and they won't replace your mare, but they will help heal that emotional hole. I have a 27 year old arabian, who has been in the family for 24 years. I am surprised to see he made it this far this winter, and every morning I go outside, I expect to see him missing. I have a 6 year old mare who is my world. I raised her from a weanling, and trained her myself. She taught me everything I know. We really kindof trained eachother. Just remember, and find comfort that she is in heaven and God is caring for her. She is waiting for you at the gates, and will graze nearby until the day you come. Don't forget about your other horses. The best thing you can do is begin again with them. Nothing can replace the first horse. Nothing. Unless you had a pony like mine, then the second horse. (did I make you smile? lol) I had a horse that got her head caught in a gate, because someone didn't close it well, and she snapped her neck.
Horses are proof that God loves us and wants to be happy. but maybe he took her away for a reason. Maybe an abandoned, abused or orphan foal will come up, and the only way you could have it was that your mare had to be called up. God must have realized something, and wants a new horse to be given the caring life your mare led, and this new horse desperately needs it. Keep your eyes and your heart open.

Answer 2

I am so sorry to hear about your horse, and I have had losses just like you. It will take some time to get used to, but you'll be okay. You'll have a special place in your heart for Chester, and when you go to heaven (if that is what you believe in) she will be there and you can be together. Focus a little on your other horses to get you through the pain. Horses are a good remedy for a broken heart. I don't quite know how to make you feel better, besides thinking of all the good things in your life, but I hope you'll be okay. I am so sorry again about your horse, and I show you great sympathy. I wish there was something more I could do.

Answer 3

I feel so badly for you. I have a 7 yr old quarterhorse gelding named "Riley." I have had him a little over 3 years. He is like my family. I have two sons and I love my horse as much as my two little boys. I am sorry that you had to go through something like that. The one thing I do suggest is this: First off, did you have insurance on her? If so, this next part will be easier. You could, depending on where you live, have her cremated. There are places that will cremate your horse and you can keep the ashes in an urn. This is very expensive without insurance, but I think it would be worth it. Then you could create a nice shelf for her urn and place of photos of you two together and make a nice little memorial to her. If you do not have insurance and can't afford to cremate, I would suggest something else. Now I know this will sound bad, but you could trim her tail and keep it someplace safe...such as an urn or something like that. That way, you will always have a piece of her with you physically, as well as her spirit. I keep one of my horse's used shoes above my bed for luck. I also keep a lot of pictures of us at shows and stuff on my walls. He only lives a couple of miles away at a boarding facility, but I like to feel him by me all the time. I love him more then words can say and it sounds like you feel this way about your horse, too. It sounds like you two were great friends. I can't pretend to know how much you hurt, but I know I would be nuts without my gelding. Stay true to god....all will be okay in the end. Just honor her memory and be thankful that she gave you all she could. She probably found a lot of peace that you were with her at the end. God bless you and your little mare. I ALSO AGREE WITH BLADE. THE STORY OF THE RAINBOW BRIDGE WILL BRING YOU TO TEARS AND GIVE YOU HOPE AT THE SAME TIME. I LOST A FIREBELLY FROG NAMED LITTLE EYES ONCE AND I HAD HER PICTURE PUT WITH THE STORY AND HAD A MEMORIAL MADE...VERY TOUCHING.

Answer 4

I truly am sorry for your loss, I know oh so well that empty space in your heart and your life. It's such a cliche, but it's so true... TIME HEALS ALL WOUNDS.

You and your other horses will most definitely go thru a period of mourning. The horses will look for their missing friend each time they enter and go out of the barn, they will search the pasture and barn for their missing friend. Unfortunately (fortunately for them) they will get over the loss quicker than you.

Spend as much time with your other 2 horses as you can, and shower them with all the love you have. This will be good for them and you! You can't replace your lost horse, but you can and will find more room in your heart for others.

This is going to sound corny, but I light a candle at http://www.gratefulness.org every day for my missing loved ones. It gives me peace of mind that they are not forgotten.

I hope this helps. And again I am so sorry for your loss.

Answer 5

first of all the exboyfriends an *** and guys suck. secondly, i know what it feels like to lose a horse. times the only thing that'll heal it and prayer works too. my main thing was asking God to please be with my horse in heaven, and that im sorry for everything bad or mean or whatever i did or said wrong to the horse, and asked that Blue got that message. nothing can heal this but time. the other two horses will be fine with time as well. its just a huge adjustment. as far as they know she was sold, and it'll take a month maybe and they should be back to normal. good luck with everything.

Answer 6

I have a 20yr. old arab/qh geilding. He is the love of my life and also my first horse. He has taught me so much and has been the best friend I could ever ask for. I dread the day when I have to do what you had to. My heart is with you and I hope that you find another horse to help fill that void and make you happy again.

Answer 7

Hi. Pain from losing an animal doesnt just go skin deep. An emotional tidal wave has hit you. It hurts more than anything knowing that there gone. Like losing a child the pain doesn't go and at times it seems hard to go on living. Horses are especially hard to lose because of their size and personality they seem like an older sibling sometimes. I know its hard. The other horses will feel your emotions and show it too. They may have trouble eating but you will have to help them. Its hard it really is and I feel for you. I myself haven't had a horse. I have raised german shepherds. And one of my own dogs was run over by a car I was in. I was comming home from a church trip and we were in a large van. The van ran over my dog. When I cam back to get her after finding out that she was infact missing. It was far too late. her body layed slaughtered on highway six. Please to go rainbowbridge.com and go read the stories and post your own. Go to the chat and feel the support from everyone you don't have to face it alone. Please go there. My screen name is Blade and I tend to be on often.
Tender feelings
Blade

Answer 8

I am so very sorry that your horse died:( You have to grieve for her before you can get over her death. It's just going to take time, but eventually you will be able to remember all the days you had with her, how you felt about her and how much joy she brought to your life. Try to spend time with your other horses and enjoy their company. I know that is such a traumatic experience to lose a pet you love so much, bless your heart.

Answer 9

i too own an arabian and love him to death... but i am soooo sorry to hear about your loss. I know that it is really hard to lose a family member. you just need time, it is so hard to just bounce back from something like that. You have to remember all of the good times that you had with your horse. I hope you have a better day tomorrow

Answer 10

I always find solace in this poem "The Rainbow Bridge".

Hope this helps... i know this is a difficult time for you...

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The Rainbow Bridge


Just this side of heaven is a place called Rainbow Bridge.

When an animal dies that has been especially close to someone here, that pet goes to Rainbow Bridge. There are meadows and hills for all of our special friends so they can run and play together. There is plenty of food, water and sunshine, and our friends are warm and comfortable.
All the animals who had been ill and old are restored to health and vigor. Those who were hurt or maimed are made whole and strong again, just as we remember them in our dreams of days and times gone by. The animals are happy and content, except for one small thing; they each miss someone very special to them, who had to be left behind.

They all run and play together, but the day comes when one suddenly stops and looks into the distance. His bright eyes are intent. His eager body quivers. Suddenly he begins to run from the group, flying over the green grass, his legs carrying him faster and faster.

You have been spotted, and when you and your special friend finally meet, you cling together in joyous reunion, never to be parted again. The happy kisses rain upon your face; your hands again caress the beloved head, and you look once more into the trusting eyes of your pet, so long gone from your life but never absent from your heart.

Then you cross Rainbow Bridge together....

Author unknown...