What would you do if you knew someone in an abusive situation with a family member?

Question

-Have you been in one yourself?

Remember, please, this is very hypothetical, don't ask me if I'm in such situation because trust me, I'm not. =) Just wondering cause I know people that have gone and are still going through it.

Answer 1

I try to find & share with them info that encourages them to understand the situation objectively, and also encourages them to act in their best interests. Take the following, for example:

Sexual Harassment :
- A Global Problem
- How to Protect Yourself
http://www.watchtower.org/library/g/1996/5/22/article_01.htm

How Can You Make Peace With Others? :
~ Wars With Words--Why Are They Hurtful?
~ The Benefits of Making Peace
http://www.watchtower.org/library/w/2005/3/1/article_01.htm

Help for Battered Women! :
- "Maybe This Time He'll Change"
- Why Do Men Batter Women?
- Help for Battered Women
- Machismo--A Global Problem
- Correcting Misconceptions
- "Sometimes I Think I Am Dreaming!" (a successful outcome)
http://www.watchtower.org/e/20011108/article_01.htm

How to Solve Problems Peacefully :
- Why They Resort to Violence
- How to Solve Problems Peacefully
http://www.watchtower.org/library/w/1998/11/1/article_01.htm

Drug Abuse in the Family--What Can You Do?
- Young People and Drugs
- How to Protect Your Children
- Soon--A Drug-free World
http://watchtower.org/library/g/2003/4/8/article_01.htm

You are welcome to print these out to share with those you are concerned about, so long as both the source & copyright are included.

Answer 2

I was sexually abused growing up by a family member and a friend of the family. I did everything I could to hide it, however, there were 2 people who did know. Back then I was terrified of them telling anyone. But now, I think that I wish they would have reported it. At the same time tho...I don't know what would have happened and it is scary to think of being in a foster home. If I was the one who knew someone was being abused, I would report it immediately. If you know someone going thru abuse, report it. The "abused person" will 99% of the time beg you not to tell, but it may save their life and they will most likely thank you years down the road if not sooner.

Answer 3

Well, if it were my family member I would ask them how I could help. I would take it upon myself to familiarize with information concerning why he does it and why she stays (if that is the situation). Do not blame. Listen intently and non-judgmentally. If you offer suggestions, don't do it in such a way that you disrespect her power of choice. It may be all they have left. Help them to realize what their options are and make sure your phone and door are always open. Drop by unexpectedly to visit sometimes. Always let them know by card, phone call etc. that you are thinking of them and care. Make sure you face the abuser down on visits to see her. Don't ever let him isolate her from you for any reason. Take her shopping, for luncheons, for walks in the park. Anything to give her a fresh breath of air and sense of normalcy. Help provide emergency kit for leaving including numbers to call for help, cell phone, important documents, a little cash, etc. Offer to provide access to them in a safe secret place with the ability to call day or night.
If there are incidents that are extreme or often, encourage her to file police reports but be prepared to help her figure out how the bills will be paid if he's in jail. Offer to help with a divorce lawyer if needed. Don't "hate" him with her. Don't tell her to be quiet. Admit you don't understand what she is going through. Believe what she says and realize it's worse than that by far. Hug often. Always offer a peacable atmosphere around yourself and others when she is around.Pray, Pray, Pray.
Yes, I've been there. Hoping they will change can kill you either physically or your spirit. It takes so much emotional energy to survive that often the mere thought of the battle that will ensue through divorce and or leaving is more difficult to face than daily existance. Build up her self confidence in her qualities and talents every chance you have. Talk to the folks at your local safe house. Also, the D.A.'s offices will have literature.

Answer 4

I am personally acquainted with a Girl friend who has been living with my brother for 9 years and he is abusive to her. (Mentally-not physically). She and I are very close and she confides in me. The only way I know to support her is to try to get her to understand that she is in an abusive situation and that it will not get better. I tell her that she is still a good person and that she is getting the short end of his problems. I have advised her to save every dollar she can and be prepared to leave when this occurs again.

Answer 5

My best friend's mom was abused for all her married life of 45 yrs and she never would leave no matter how many times they begged her to go. Eventually she died of misery and depression and abusiveness. Abuse is very serious! The best thing is to keep the lines of communication open just in case he/she will someday want to get out of it. Let the abusive person KNOW that everyone is watching him and if anything happens to the abused person, that you will have him arrested if need be. Try to tell the person to go to a therapist,or women's shelter, or priest, etc... A S A P!!!!

Answer 6

If the victim is a minor child or an elderly person it can be reported.

If the victim is an adult who isn't elderly I think all you can do is try talking to him/her and encouraging him/her to seek help from someone who knows how to deal with such a situation.

Answer 7

My sister was many years ago. Theres not much anyone else can do if the person being abused wont leave. All you can do is be willing to help when they are finally sick enough of it to want to make a change.

Answer 8

supply them the selection to the closest family contributors violence look after. they do no longer ought to pass there to stay, yet those places do have weekly group help conferences for individuals who're nevertheless living interior the abusive relationship. confident I even have, this is particularly complicated to seperate and get out of---exceedingly if the abuser is controlling or a stalker ---you may escape although, and stay out of those varieties of relationships.

Answer 9

I would pray.Ask God to change it all around and to give her strength.She might be depressed and have a hardned heart but I would pray for her to find God and see that there is true love and God will show her that true love.I will ask guidance to God and most likely whatever it takes to save their life.Also teach them forgiveness it is something very important because that will haunt them.

Answer 10

you have to intervene, get involved, if you care about that person enough.