how do i stop the pain of being cheated on?

Question

my boyfriend cheated on me 4 weeks after my little girl was born he only kissed his girl but it really hurt he told me as soon as it happend but i cant stop thinking about it i love him so much but i feel like he hasnt done anything to to make it better he is just ackting like nothing happend he wont talk to me about it i dont no how to make the pain go away

Answer 1

you got 2 options 1 forgive him he only kissed her or 2 hit the gin.

Answer 2

I agree with some of the above... Somewhat...

I am a recent father who found myself in a similar position. Yes it can be a confusing time and both of you can make REALLY bad decisions during this time. There are only two options..

Both of you completely confide in the other and have total trust. This means that you talk out everything [When it gets heated.. Back off for a bit] and fully express what you each are feeling. BTW your both terrified [or at least we were]

Option 2: Complete and utter separation of emotional ties. Yes the actions that have taken place can snowball into a full blown cheat fest which will tear your family apart.. So follow the above and if after wards each of you cannot 100% say lets do this together... then separate and redefine the relationship to be one in which you both care for the child but the possibility of something between you two can never happen...

Answer 3

I was Married for 13 years and kissed people but nothing else,living in the moment i think,as long as you don't want to take it any further,a kiss is a kiss nothing more ,ask him if he feels left out with the new baby and if he is feeling lonely,only he can help with these questions but get it sorted before it's to late.
Remember Affairs are a symptom not the cause of a break up

Answer 4

Listen the pain won't go away because you won't let it.If it bothers you that bad then tell him if he doesn't want to listen that should tell you something about him.And besides didn't you wonder what the heck he was kissing another girl for anyways?Don't let a guy have control over your thoughts and actions.Let him know and then move on with the next issue at hand.If you carry that around it will make you sick it ain't worth it and neither is he..

Answer 5

Grow up and take a more rational approach to his behaviour. It is perfectly normal for a guy to kiss a pretty girl. That does not mean that he is having a relationship with her or does not love you. To men, sex, be it a light kiss or full scale copulation is a physical pleasure, not a mental bond for life. The male attitude to sex is very different from the female one that foolishly believes that once married or partnered, sex of any intensity has to be exclusive. Once you accept this you can relax and be happy.

Answer 6

Cheating hurts.It takes time to get over.I suppose it depends how long ago he did this.My husband was unfaithful to me and i foolishly took him back,I tried for a year to make it work,but he never really did anything to make it better either,and i couldn't get over it, and then he cheated again.We are now separated and going through a divorce!! Your fella says he only kissed this girl,but how do you know?? My ex said it was a one night stand the first time but i found out after he'd been shagging her for ages.Cheats are good at lying!! I hope things work out for you one way or another.You deserve to be happy. :o) xxxxx

Answer 7

Ok Hunny: i know its hard, and i know you have a babby with him. But get rid of him, if obviously doesnt love you enough if he has cheated on you!!! Im sorry yo say it but. . your better off leaving ffinding someone else, dont think just because you have a child now none else will have you cause belive me plenty of men out there willing to take a women and her child on. Once a cheat always a cheat!!! Be brave!!

Answer 8

confessing that he has done something wrong is a good thing. it is painful but you guys need to have an honest discussion coz you're hurting and it takes time to heal the pain. men in general at some point in their life will cheat. that's a fact. and when men cheats, they lie. tell him how it's hurting you and ask him if he still loves you and decide what you will do next based on his answers. he can't just ignore the fact that he hurt your feelings and he needs to do something to ease your pain.

Answer 9

YOUR BF WILL BE GOING THROUGH AN EMOTIONAL TIME WITH A NEW BABY ON THE SCENE AND LIKELY WONT KNOW WHY HE DID IT HIMSELF HE IS FEELING GUILTY THATS WHY HE ACTS THE WAY HE DOES TO TRY AND GLOSS OVER IT AS IF IT NEVER HAPPENED YOU SEE HE WILL FEEL THAT HE LET YOU AND HIMSELF DOWN AND FEELS WORSE THAN YOU DO SO HE TRYS TO IGNORE WHAT HE DID PS I THINK HE LOVES YOU THAT IS WHY HE CONFESSED BE STRONG AND TELL HIM NO MORE OR HE WILL HAVE TO WALK THEN YOU WILL FEEL IN CHARGE AGAIN YOU WILL GAIN STRENGTH IF YOU SHOW HIM YOU MEAN BUISNESS AND YOUR PAIN SHOULD START TO FADE PPS FEEL FREE TO CALL HIM A F*****G ARES***E THAT WILL ALSO HELP.JUST BE POSSITIVE.

Answer 10

Go find yourself professional help ('Relate' - for one).

If he is not going to acknowledge your hurt / pain / angers over what happened, then you at least need to find yourself some support ....which will help you with the beginning of the process of dealing with your pain.

It may not help you (at present), but it is very likely that his 'inability' to talk / deal with his behaviour, is a mark of the depth of his feelings of guilt. But then, defencive behaviour like that can have any number of contributing reasons.

I'm sorry, I wish I could offer you more than that.

I wish you good luck with this.
Sash.

Answer 11

thats hard. It took me years to get over being cheated on. Honestly i only know of one person who was able to get over it and continue the relationship. It was hard, but one person had to want to be forgiven and the other had to want to forgive. It wont be easy. If they don't have regret or sorrow about their action it will be harder to get over. I had to ask god to help me not be bitter about it. It all really depends on what you want to do and if you're willing to get over it or not and if they're truly sorry or not. I hope it works out for you.
mike