But he is not willing to budge, he says that I will not take the children from him. I never said I was I told him from the start I would like joint custody because they deserve a father and mother. A huge custody battle is to damaging to the children and I don't want to go that route, but I don't know what other options are available. Any suggestions?
2007-01-23 10:28:31 · 10 answers · asked by LAC_27 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Suggestions???? ........you wish to avoid a huge custody battle at all costs --- the only people who come out ahead are the two attorneys at a cost to each of you of approx $6000 ---- again, each of you!!!!!!!!!! It is in their best interest to drag it on forever.
Best thing is for the both of you to have a mediating attorney --- look in the yellow pages under attorney -- divorce --- mediating. Decide between the two of you that you stand to loose at least $12,000 if you cannot agree on something reasonable... ( and if not, there will be a whole lot of hard feelings that will splatter onto your children... and don't think it will not, either!!!!!!!!!!!) A mediating attorney cost is approx $75-3000 depending upon the state... they simply fill out your wishes and get it filed --- you two have to do the hard work ...... agreeing on something, but hey, $12,000 buckos is a real incentive.
2007-01-23 10:36:55 · answer #1 · answered by April 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
File for divorce and seek joint custody. He won't have any choice. Even if he fights you for full custody he won't get it unless there is something wrong with you, like being a drug-addict or a physically abusive parent. It sounds to me like he's just trying to scare you into staying in the marriage by saying he won't let you share the children if you leave. Just ignore his barking and go to court. If he won't budge then you have no choice but to go through a custody battle. Get counseling for the children and make him pay for it since he is not willing to put their welfare above his own selfishness and forego the battle.
2007-01-23 10:39:14 · answer #2 · answered by StrawberryShortcake 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
In many states, there are location called Exchange Clubs. These were created to allow divorced parents to discuss and negotiate custody, as well as have a neutral location to leave and pick up the children.
Try to have other members of your husband's family (assuming that they are still talking with you) speak with him. See if a mutual, respected member of either family can get him to recognize that a smooth, pre-discussed custody agreement will be more successful and less stressful on him and your kids than going through a custody fight.
He's probably angry and unwilling to acknowledge anyone's feelings but his own at the moment. If that is the case, your efforts may be futile. If at all possible, remind him and everyone else involved that if you DON'T consider the needs of your children now, it WILL result in heartache for them and for each of you later.
Whatever actions a parent may take, unless they are abusive or neglectful of their children, they retain the right to be active in their children's lives. In the end, no matter HOW he manages his time with the kids, if you are consistent, available, and DO NOT BAD MOUTH HIM while they are with you, they will recognize your intentions and your parenting.
Do yourself a favor and don't rise to his insults or degrading remarks. Stay focused.
2007-01-23 10:50:20 · answer #3 · answered by CarinaPapa 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Providing there is no history of abuse, and both parties can provide equally for the children the courts will more than likely grant joint custody. Doesn't matter if he fights or not, courts don't normally grant custody to a father without very good reason.
2007-01-23 10:42:28 · answer #4 · answered by michael_trussell 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
initially, with you seeing someone new that's noted as adultery. even with the incontrovertible actuality that your marriage is over, you're nonetheless yet another guy's spouse. second, his medical difficulty would not have some thing to do with custody. Him being energetic military would have a important result on it, although, as he not in any respect is conscious at the same time as he will be redeployed. I recommend getting your self a job or actively searching, and documenting it so the choose can see you want to provide on your son. i imagine those days you receives custody and your husband (certain, husband) receives visitation.
2016-12-02 23:15:43 · answer #5 · answered by england 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your willing to budge and he's not, sounds like a custody battle, to me.
2007-01-23 10:33:14 · answer #6 · answered by Celeste P 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him that it is the MOST important thing to think about the children never ever about himself!!
2007-01-23 10:33:10 · answer #7 · answered by LadyL 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
me and my ex did the two weeks with me and two weeks with him custody and it works perfect and the kids love it !!!!! see if he will go for that if all else fails good luck to you
2007-01-23 10:33:24 · answer #8 · answered by BlessedMommyof3.. 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My x and i did just that. Completely equal. have your attorney make up the papers then sit down with your future x and show him that its just that, equal!
2007-01-23 11:16:35 · answer #9 · answered by suzzanlynn 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
nope, sorry
2007-01-23 10:35:31 · answer #10 · answered by Completly in love... 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋