my girlfriend of four months recently found out that she is pregnant, i am tryin my best to be as supportive of the situation as best as i can, neither of us have good paying jobs and are not ready for a child, we discussed the pros and cons and went back on forth as to what we should do, we even sat down with her mother and i talked it over with my father, both are parents agreed it is best to get an abortion, my girlfriend also asked me to make the decision to keep it or have an abortion because she was tired of flip flopping decisions, when i told her to get an abortion she said she woul dnot resent me however i have a feeling that once its over she will, how can i be there and be supportive for her without her resenting me and hurting our relationship, oh yeah im deeply in love with her
2007-01-23 10:16:41 · 17 answers · asked by jerismark 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Pregnancy
Here's my opinion. It does not sound like your girlfriend knows what she wants and it does not sound like she is 100% committed to this abortion. Don't let anyone tell you and your gf what to do. You two need to make the decision together. I am pro-life, but I am not going to jump down your throat. I believe that if you and your gf do decide on the abortion, it is something that you will have to live with for the rest of your life. You just need to explore all your options.
Is there any reason why she can not have the baby and then give it up for adoption?
What if she has the abortion and regrets it later? This is a stressful time and you guys may not be thinking clearly. Now, abortion may seem the "easy" way out, but in the future it may damage your relationship with your gf.
Have you talked about adoption?
2007-01-23 10:24:00 · answer #1 · answered by SAMMY 5 · 5⤊ 2⤋
Give her a shoulder to cry on, be very open about your own emotional reactions as well. You are sharing this experience, emotionally, and she needs to know that you are just as sad and disappointed as you are. Trying to be "Strong" won't help her, nor will telling her that she'll get over it, etc. Just listen to her and tell her that you feel bad about the whole thing too, and if she cries, go ahead and cry with her.
I'm really sorry for all the insensitive, self-righteous blithering responses to your question. I respect that you've made a decision, and I trust you know what's best for the both of you. Being a teen-aged parent isn't just about what to do with the baby when it's born, but in dealing with the pregnancy itself. THAT can be very dangerous, embarrassing, and emotionally traumatic all by itself-- and that's if you WANT the baby. You are doing the right thing. Right now is not a good time to start a family, and the fact that other kids have done it doesn't make it right. Chalk this up to experience, then go get a good education. Have kids when YOU ARE READY, not when everyone else says you should.
2007-01-23 10:34:25 · answer #2 · answered by Angela M 6 · 3⤊ 1⤋
I have personally gone through this and all I needed was support. Just stick by her and whatever she needs from you be there. It is a tough descion but it has to be the right one for YOU and HER. It is NOT murder because if it was there would be a lot of people in jail it is a legal and ok decision to, don't let anyone tell you different. I now have a 2 year old daughter and one on the way and I couldn't be happier. If I would have had the baby that I terminated I wouldn't be where I am today and I feel that I made the right decision for me.
Good luck to you and it isn't wrong to do what is best for you and her future.
2007-01-23 12:27:47 · answer #3 · answered by Crystal 1 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Very hard question with a lot of options. If you truly want the baby you should fight for it. Go to her parents and confess no matter the judgement you might get. No religion should kill. Explain you understand the pros and cons but every life is precious. Life is not about how you planned it but how you deal with the obstacles that come your way. 18 years from now what is more important? A girls ivy league education or a child you both created. I am not against abortion but if her reasoning is only religion or family related you need to step in. I hope it works out for you and no matter what happens this is a learning experience.
2016-03-28 23:18:28 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Im pro-life myself but I am not going to sit here and call you a baby killer. Things like this happen and in all honesty I dont know how it happened to you I just hope you are a little more careful in the future. You can always have the baby and put it up for adoption. After I saw pictures of abortion I could never suggest it again. The choice is yours good luck and stick by her. She is going to need you in the up coming days with whatever you decide to do.
2007-01-23 10:38:09 · answer #5 · answered by Marge F 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
dude she is going to resent you she wont forgive you for not saying you want her to have the baby it will definetly hurt the relationship its so hard for a girl to have an abortion and there is always a possibility that she wont be able to have kids after that even though its a small one its there and besides if you knew you werent ready why didnt you wear a condom. she probably hates that everyone has opinions and she is maybe scared to say that she wants to keep it because she loves you or something and wants to agree with you but maybe you should ask her if she wants to keep the baby and if she does im sure you guys will figure out something and you guys will manage. maybe also consider giving it up for adoption instead of abortion there are more options than just abortion
2007-01-23 10:52:26 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
mayby you just think it's going to be worse then what it actually is going to be! If you had the child do you not have support from other people? And if you wait for 2 good jobs your still not going to think you have enuf money to have a child-- I would just say make sure this is what you both want before you guys go do something you may regret later on. If one of you is in doubt about whether to do it or not mayby you guys should reconsider. If this is what you both want then it probably won't be that bad!--best of luck to you but make sure you don't rush it until yor sure
2007-01-23 10:25:10 · answer #7 · answered by amanda B 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I'm sorry that you're going through this right now. I just want you to think about this a bit more. Please don't kill your baby just because your parents say it's the best thing.
Parents don't always know what the best thing to do is. I promise that if you abort the baby, it won't be any easier for you. It will more than likely damage your relationship with this girl and you'll have regrets.
Why not try just having the baby? It might make your relationship stronger. You could even try to raise it yourselves. Trust me, nobody is ever finacially ready to have a baby, but for some reason , things always seem to work out.
If you really don't want the baby, then please consider adoption instead.
Trust me, if you were mature enough to make this child, you're mature enough to raise it.
I know this is hard, but honestly, if you keep the baby, you won't be sorry.
2007-01-23 10:26:23 · answer #8 · answered by bluegrass 5 · 5⤊ 3⤋
Do your best. It's likely she will resent you, sorry to say. Pregnant people say lots of things, and while she said she wanted a decision instead of waffling, to me, that indicates that she didn't want to be the one making the decision. But it's her body, and her decision ultimately, KWIM? Hard choice.
Just be there for her. Do your best. It's all you can do. Good luck--
2007-01-23 10:39:53 · answer #9 · answered by KD 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First it is not up to your or her parents. Dont let them decide. People on here do not know your situation and shouldn't be telling you too keep a child especially since you have only been together for 4 months. It could make there relationship worse by keeping the child.Stop sending links to abortion pics. Please do not accuse someone of murder. Abortion is not murder. There is a difference between someone who goes out a cold-bloodied kills a person and abortion. Please keep those opinions to yourselfThat is propaganda and out of line. Only you know what is best for you
About your girlfriend: She shouldnt of put that on you. You both need to come to the decision TOGETHER. That is unfair to you. You will have people on here jump down your throat that it is murder and whatever. Or you should of used protection , which is true but it is too late for that. Just be there for her and make sure she knows that no matter what she decides (Or both together) that you will be there for her. Go to her appointment and hold her hand.
And please use protection or consider birth control. Maybe you guys did use it. I am not one to know because she will resent you. It just happens that way
BUT the decision should be BOTH
I have reported MEGAN11034 who called you a murderer. She is out of line and needs to take it somewhere else
***Your thumbs down do not bother me. It just shows me how close minded you are*****
2007-01-23 10:22:16 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 4⤋