Should i give my baby it's daddy's last name?

Question

Okay i'm 19 weeks pregnant & i have decided on a name.And i really wan't my baby to have it's daddy's last name but i'm not sure if i should or not because i have heard that he will have legal rights to the baby & i don't wan't that because he's a deadbeat & keeps telling me that it's not his baby that i'm a slut & sleep with everyone which is a total lie.I wan't my baby to know who it's father is but i'm so scared that he will try & take it away from me when he get's older & get's his head on straight?Do you think that i should or do you think i should give it my last name?Help please!!!Thank you!

Answer 1

The father of the child has legal rights no matter what name the child has. As far as the law is concerned, the father has as much right to the child as you do, until you or someone else goes to court and gets an order saying otherwise.

Now, should you give the child your last name or the father's... If you were planning a life with the father, planning on marrying him at some point, then I would say yes, give the child the father's last name.

But it sounds like you already know the father is a deadbeat and will be that way with your child. Knowing that, I would definitely give the child your last name. It will make things easier with schools, doctors, etc.

I was faced with this same decision a long time ago. I chose to give my three older children my last name. I also gave them the option when I felt they were old enough to take their father's last name if that was what they wanted. None of them took his name, but I think giving them the option was the right thing to do. It's something you might want to consider with your child.

Good luck.

Answer 2

If you're not married to the baby's father you should give the baby your last name.

If you list the father's name when the baby is born he will have legal rights and responsibilities regardless of the baby's name. If you list "father unknown" but the father knows the baby is his child he could go to court and ask for a paternity test in order to establish legally that he is the father and has rights (and responsibilities).

If the father doesn't want to claim the baby as his child you may not have anything to worry about; although there will always be the chance he could show up later and ask for a paternity test and visitation rights. There is one thing, though, and that is if he intentionally does not see the child for a certain amount of time (a year in my state) he could be seen by the legal system as having abandoned the child. You should ask an attorney about this, even if you have to go to your state's legal services or call the state bar association and ask for a referral.

Your baby won't even ask about who is father is until he gets about four or five and notices that other kids have a daddy. If the father stays out of the picture (or even if he doesn't) you could tell your child, "You father is ________________, but he is someone who would have trouble being a good father because sometimes mothers or fathers don't know how to be a good parent; and that's why he never lived with us."

If he doesn't claim the child as his right now, I think what you should do is stay away from him so he doesn't know what you're doing (and can't go to a lawyer and say he saw you doing this or that that was wrong and that you are an unfit mother). He can't make up lies about you if he can't honestly say he has been with you and seen how you are with the baby for himself.

He doesn't deserve to have the child given his last name, and I don't think you should do anything that would move things closer to establishing him as the father. If it ever comes around to his getting visiting rights he can visit a child who has your name.

Do not give your baby his name. That will confuse your child more than he/she deserves. Your family name can be your child's name, and if you ever get married your child will know that his/her name comes from your family.

Answer 3

Ok, I was in this same kind of situation and made the completely wrong descion. Don't give the baby his name! If for some reason, he matures enough that you two stay together, it is always easier to change the babies name to his. I gave my daughter her fathers name, left him 2 weeks later because he was an abuser and a deadtbeat, and have gone through 6 months of paperwork to get her name changed to mine. To change it to mine, I either had to file a birth certificate correction and at least two legal documents showing she is using my name or wait untill she was a year old to file a legal name change, which would have been easier but would have shown on her record.
You can give the baby his last name and still put him on the birth certificate as the father. He will have to sign it though. And an affadavit of parentage will have to be signed if you are not married. This basically states that you are the parents and the baby is in your custody unless otherwise directed by the court. So you can get child support from him and unless the courts say otherwise, you have full custody and determine how much he sees the child. Good luck.

Answer 4

This one is completely up to you. I can tell you that the baby's name does not give him legal rights. He has to sign the birth cert to have legal rights. My sons father is a deadbeat too. I didnt give him his fathers last name sinply because it would e easier for me and my son if we had the same last name. Im getting married in Feb and we will be changing my sons last name to my married name then.

If you are not married, you cant list him as the father - he has to sign paperwork stating he is the father. If he never signs the papework he doesnt have any rights.

I know right now you are scared and have so much running through your head, believe me I've been there done that. When it comes to our children we need to look not only at the present but the future. What if his father cleans up his act and wants an active part in his childs life: leave that door open it could happen. People do make mistakes and people do change.

Good Luck and Take Care honey.

Answer 5

There will have to be a DNA test done for paternity anyway, which will give him some legal rights. Just a last name is not a legal right. I do believe that you may name your child anything you want, they dont even have to have your last name, but you would have to explain it all later. I would give the child your last name, and then if the father straightens out, and the child decides laster on in life to take his name then so be it. The father can pay for the name change. No matter what name you give the child, if you want it to know who the father is then it will.

Answer 6

If he doesn't want to be a father now and isn't willing to treat you with respect then you shouldn't name his as the father or give the baby his name. He may be the biological father...but you may end up with a much better daddy for your baby.

Answer 7

I gave my daughter her dad's last name, now that he left I wish I didn't. He has rights to her, & wont give them up. He pays child support which is good, but he still has a right to her & he is a deadbeat. Just keep your last name on her. You can still recieve child support if he signs the birth certificate.

Answer 8

you still have some time to decide, so think it over good, you should look around you, at other examples and think always on the wellness of your child and not on your hurt feelings, because your child will grow up some day and be a wonderful father or mother it all depends on you and your decisions

Answer 9

you can put him down as the father on the paperwork but you DO NOT have to give your child it's fathers last name. For that matter you can give your child whatever last name you want, it doesn't even have to be yurs! My sis had the same problem with her first child.

Answer 10

no put it your last name when i had my boy i put it his last name as his dad it just was the wrong thing to do he was a deadbeat to you know it ok you have the right to have it as your last name i had to get It change to put it my last name it not worth it just give e your child your last name it your right