Is my Wife Bi?

Question

Some recent happenings have me wondering if my wife might be Bi-Curious.

1) She constantly asks me if "that girl's hot". And while I don't mind the question, she occasionally brings up the “hot” girl while we're making love and ask me to talk about what I would like to do with her. And when I ask her, she offers her opionion of what she would (and wouldn’t) do with her (girl/girl action). For Instance, she would make out with the “hot” girl but not go down on her. She would let the “hot” girl f**k her with a strap-on but she wouldn’t want to do the f**king.

It’s more than her just pleasing me by going along with my desires (to watch her and another woman), she genuinely has laid out what she would want to do and what she wouldn’t want to do (hypothetically).

2) She’s told me multiple times that she finds the female body “just sexier that a guys’…I mean with a woman, you’ve got curves, softness, breasts, and a nice ‘smooth’ nether region. Guys are hairy, rough-skinned, bulky, and their groin is not nearly as aesthetically pleasing as a female.”

3) I once, just for laughs (or so I thought), put on a pair of her underwear (bright pink thong). Not only did she want me to keep wearing it, but she told me that it was a major turn on and she "loves" the "girlyness" of female underwear "with the tools to f**k my brains out". I asked her if it was another girl wearing a strap-on and lacy panties over it, would that excite her, to which she answered, "Probably".

We've been married for only 6 months, and neither she nor I had any sexual relations with anyone prior to our marriage. We're both 23 and we know we’re still finding out about ourselves and our desires. I love my wife dearly and genuinely want to know if now that we’ve opened the door (to sexual desires), maybe she’s finding out that she has an appetite for both men and women.

Honest answers only, please. No bashing.

Answer 1

Sounds like she's bi-curious. If she is, give a threesome a go. It might be the answer to every man's fantasy.

Answer 2

Since your wife is a bottom, meaning she likes being done and not so much the doing then I would say she is bi-curious.
As some of the others have said just give each other room to explore. Have you asked her if she would interested in having a threesome? I would recommend that you choose the third party together so no one thinks there are ulterior motives or let her choose the other girl. I also think you should be involved from the get go with the sex. Sit back and watch after everyone is settled into their perspective roles. You don't want your wife bonding to another person so soon after you both have started having sex. For instance while the two girls are kissing you could caress your wife in a sensual manner. I say your wife because it is most important to get her comfortable with having two people present during sex. Form an embrace with your wife in the middle and you behind her so she is seeing and feeling the other woman and feeling you. I hope I am not being to frank for you but you're in a tricky situation by giving your wife the experiences she is interested in trying and still maintaining a close bond between you when sex in genral is so new to you both. You wife needs to see you and the other woman as, for lack of better phrasing and I'm not intending to be impersonal, devices for her pleasure. As I say, since your wife is a bottom you and the other woman could perform oral sex her. Keep it a little simple in the beginning and let your wife guide the activities. Ask her to tell you what she would like each of you to do to her and go from there.
I don't think you have to worry too much about your wife becoming lesbian as she doesn't seem to like doing any of the work.
In our world pretty much nobody gets a free ride all the time. Each of us has to step up and do her duty, if you know what I mean? lol
So anyway just be open, honest and accepting of each other and things will probably be fine.
You seem like an understanding sort of guy so just be present, be attendant and confident.

Answer 3

Joshua,

You may have noticed that if you post this question on the LGBT section, you'll get a lot of "Yes, and that's GREAT" answers. Post it over in Marriage, and I bet the results would be dramatically different.

You and your wife are newlyweds, both without prior sexual experience. That is just too cool to believe! If you stay committed to each other and keep your wedding vows, you will live the rest of your lives together knowing that YOU are the only one to share such intimacy with her, and vice versa. No comparisons to someone else you had in the past, no jealousy.

I think you two are at a great time in your lives to explore lots of things about yourselves and your sexuality, but WITHIN THE BOUNDS OF MARRIAGE. If she likes to talk dirty and fire your imagination in bed, great! Lots of people fantasize in bed. But I would urge you two to NOT bring anyone else into your physical relationship. The hurt it would cause will never heal.

So enjoy learning about each other. I fondly remember the days that my wife and I spent the whole morning in bed exploring each other, back before we had kids and mortages and 50 hour a week jobs. If you pace yourselves, great sex can last a lifetime between you. If you bring someone else into your bed after only 6 months of marriage, where is there to go afterwards? You will have cheated yourselves out of that trusting, shared and exclusive intimacy that so few people are fortunate to have.

Answer 4

I think your wife hasn't found her sexuality yet. I think she hasn't enough experience to settle into marriage so early without experimenting a little.
Nobody knows what they want intil they've tried. Your wives very open minded and i think rather than bi shes highly curious.
And. . . . everyone has fantasies its just if the fantasies and reality fit together.

Answer 5

I think you've probably answered it for yourself.Perhaps she's curious,perhaps she'd act on it,perhaps not. Only one way to know for certain,and that's to ask her. So,will you love her less if she were bi? Big deal,maybe if you're lucky,she'll make you're wildest dreams come true

Answer 6

i thinks she's probably bi. in my opinion neither of you are ready for a monogomous relationship if you haven't had sex with other people. i'm not saying your relationship won't work...but you'll probably have to allow each other some freedom to experiment...hey maybe you can even experiment together. i'm bi and my man loves it....good luck

Answer 7

The best thing to do is ask her. She's your wife and your her husband. Talk things out and enjoy life together.

Answer 8

Maybe she thinks her "talk" is sexy to you. She may think that you enjoy it or that it turns you on. Maybe just tell her gently that you don't like when she talks like that and that it concerns you.

Answer 9

She probably is bi; however, you'll need to let her discover this and/or come out to you by herself; you can't push her to do it before she's ready.

Answer 10

she may be doing it(saying these things) for you. if she is bi,she will tell you about it if she feels she can trust you and you can accept the fact that you may not be involved.