I have been married for almost 3 years... After 10 months into the marriage we found out he had a 10 month old daughter. I knew he cheated on me when we were engadged, we "worked it out" and got married anyway since i got pregnant. When i found out about the daughter, we split. Then got back together, just recently i found out about him liying to me about "talking" to this girl.. He says it isnt anything but friendship, but of course its bull. I really love him., and we are truly happy when were together. I just cant trust him!!! and its driving me crazy!! and plus him having another child w/ someone else!! aaahhhhh!! help please
2007-01-23 09:49:47 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
you already know the answer you just dont wanna listen
2007-01-23 09:56:12 · answer #1 · answered by can u ♥ moi? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
O0o0o darling. Find another man that will be there for both you and your babies. He's definitely bad news if he has done that before. Now im not saying when all guys cheat they'll cheat again , but in your case it is a case of once a cheater always a cheater. And since youre having a baby with a different guy what did your husband say about that? I think you should get your divorce before you get even more hurt darling no matter how happy you and your husband are together. You dont want him to cheat on you all the time do you?
2007-01-23 18:00:45 · answer #2 · answered by Nena 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What I want to know is: How is he supposed to be a part of his other daughter's life without talking to the mother? What if he really does love you and just wants to be a part of that little girl's life? Yes, he cheated and fathered a child and you SAID you forgave him for cheating. You married him. Get a grip. You made the choice to move past him cheating the first time. What you are really saying is that he has to make a choice between YOU and the little girl because you don't trust him to talk to the little girl's mother. Hey that little girl has a right to know her father too. If I were you I would insist on being present whenever he wants to see his little girl. Maybe over time you can build your trust in him again.
2007-01-23 18:03:51 · answer #3 · answered by StrawberryShortcake 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Girl sometimes love can't concure all. You need to get up out of this relationship and move on. If your truly happy when your together then you shouldn't be having this conversation anyway. How can you be happy with someone who has cheated on you more than once. The only reason he does those things is because you allow it and you take him back each and every time. Your a great baby mama and that's all you'll ever be in his eyes. Fall in line because this brother is not straighting up any time soon.
2007-01-23 18:06:13 · answer #4 · answered by step b 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Alright, he cheated once and you worked it out, that part is done and over. He lied to you about talking to her. It could be that he didn't want to get you mad for it, after all, the woman is the mother of his "other" child. Agreed he shouldn't have lied about it but it is innocent enough unless he is sleeping with her again. If talking to a member of the opposite sex is a crime, I'm a major criminal and I bet you are too.
Does he have plans to take care of that child? Can he take care of that other child with the money he makes now? Is it possible that she wants him to pay for the child's keep? There are too many "ifs" in this one. If you leave him, can he support you and your daughter with the money he is making now as well as taking care of the other girl and her daughter?
Tough question and an even tougher answer. For now play it by ear. See if he has any feelings for the woman. If he continues to lie, it's time for him to go. All relationships are built on trust and the only way to trust is to talk things over.
2007-01-23 18:05:13 · answer #5 · answered by Kevin A 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I hate to break it to you, but he'll have to talk to the girl to be able to have something to do with his other child. If you don't want him to have anything to do with the other child, then consider what that would feel like if someone wouldn't let him be a part of YOUR daughter's life. I'm sure this other woman probably looks at it like you took him from her or something. However, if he's got something "going" with this girl, then that's a different story. The "friend" thing IS bull. He doesn't need to be her friend. He just needs to be a father to the child he made with her.
2007-01-23 18:00:18 · answer #6 · answered by a_lot_smarter_now 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get a grip when the TRUST is gone the LOVE is gone, in your case i think you want him your just not sure i would tell him i feel about the baby and why he felt he had LIE about it. Tell him you want to trust him again if that's what you really want okay? Don't stay with him cause of the baby as you can SEE that don't keep a MAN!
2007-01-23 18:03:40 · answer #7 · answered by deezbrats 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Let the past be the past and forgive him and move on... Work on your marriage and make the most of it that you can!!! This was before you were married so move on and dont look back. Ask him not to talk with her without you around though... He will have to rebuild your trust and that will take time.. You may need counseling and help to get past the pain of this and someday you will need to learn to forgive him and let the past go....
http://www.marriagetoday.org
http://www.drphil.com
http://www.marriagebuilders.com
2007-01-23 17:57:17 · answer #8 · answered by Lady Hewitt 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
friendship my *** that's what all cheaters say i don't blame you for not trusting your husband they cheat once they'll do it again men i don't know why they have to mess around when thier married thats how my husband did is why im not with him now take care of your child but id boot him out the door
2007-01-23 18:06:24 · answer #9 · answered by sweetgranny06 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
be careful theres a child who may learn to be as disrespectful as he is . I would let him go unless I was involved in his actions with the other child and woman If he has nothing to hide you should be with him for support and its never a childs fault only a as*holes.
2007-01-23 17:59:39 · answer #10 · answered by dcj2372 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋