Is this good???

Question

Here is my intro and conclusion for an essay I wrote. Do I need to change anything? Are they both good? If I need to work on something, what can I do to make it better?

Intro---- Any ‘bird lover’ would know all about endangered birds, such as the peregrine falcon or the golden eagle. But not everybody knows about those two types of birds. So for those who don’t want to become a ‘bird lover’, they just want to know these two types of birds, they have to learn three things. First, the characteristics, which would be the size, colors and wingspans. Secondly, they will need to learn about the reproduction and life cycle. Finally where they are found or their habitat.

Conclusion---- Any ‘bird lover’ would know all about endangered birds, such as the peregrine falcon or the golden eagle. While there are many differences and similarities between the two, some differences are their life span and characteristics. One similarity though, is their habitat.

Thanks

what sentence, to be teh very last, could tie it all together and bring it to a complete end?

Nobody seems to understand what I am asking. How can I improve my ending???? I know it needs work but what can I do??? I don't need anymore help with my intro, just my conclusion!!

Answer 1

it's good.. but u don't have to repeat the beginning of the sentences. this one " any 'bird' lover......

Answer 2

It's good, but needs improvement

First let me start with your intro. By reading the first sentence, I would expect the essay to be about endangered birds, not two specific types.

If this was my essay, I would write this:
"Any 'bird lover' would know all about the peregrine falcon or the golden eagle, two endangered birds, but others who are not 'bird lovers', would not. Those people who are not bird lovers, but want to know more about these two birds, would have to learn three things. They would need to know the characteristics of the birds, the reproduction and life cycles, and their habitats."

Your conclusion does not conclude your essay. It sounds more like an introduction Don't restate your intro in the exact same words in your conclusion and watch contractions.

I would say you have an excellent essay, just a weak intro and conclusion.

Answer 3

nicely writen but try and incresse your vocabulary and make it a tiny bit interestinger

Answer 4

I think it's pretty good. Nice job! :)