okay, i have aways tried to push being raped out of my mind. it happened when i was only 8 years old. at school the other day these boys were messing around and talking about me being a **** (everyone knew they were only joking). and then one of them said "oh, dont joke around. we all know she doesn't get any." (still joking) and then someone brought up virginity and it braught back scary memories (this is the middle of my algebra class) and i started crying. now they all think theres something wrong with me (not a making fun of me way). how do i tell them what was really wrong and how can i get this out of my head? i dont want to talk to an adult because its kind of embarrassing. im embarrasses writing this. and my uncle did it to me, thats even worse. even if i didnt want to it, does this mean im not a virgin anymore? please help me.
2007-01-23 09:17:59 · 17 answers · asked by hannah 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
**** --- meant sl.ut
2007-01-23 09:18:49 · update #1
You don't have to tell anyboyd anything that you're not okay with.
I can relate to you because I've been there and done that.
Every one is different. Some advice:
Don't "show" that it bothers you. If you do they will keep on bothering you.
As hard is that is...it's the best action I know. Never let anybody see how they can hurt you because that is something they will take advantage of you.
Good luck and be strong!
2007-01-23 09:27:11 · answer #1 · answered by lotsofluv007 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
in all honesty dont tell them any thing unless they are really close friends. and nothing is wrong with you persay. what happened to u was totally out of ur hands. u hand no choice and u have been dealing with for a verylong time. nothing is more embarrassing than crying over something u had no control over. i think u should talk to a school counsler or a trusted adult. dont let any one ever say something is wrong with u. the only thing i saw wrong in ur letter was the people "teasing u in algebra". and just so u know in ur mind the only way ur not a virgin anymore is when u consent to the way of love. not when someone forces it on u! please dont be ashamed. it wasnt ur fault. just look at ur self EVERYDAY and tell urself that im a beautiful girl and noone i mean noone will hurt me today.
and good luck and let me know what happens.
2007-01-23 17:35:50 · answer #2 · answered by mommie 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you need counselling to get that out of your mind! remember that you did nothing wrong and that your uncle should have been sent to prison for that although it is probably too late to do that now. you should talk to your parents about the fact that you started crying in school and tell them why. Just doing that and taking back the control of that memory may help you. dont think of it as embarassing to you but telling them so that if there are any other young girls in the family they don't have to have the same thing happen to them. you are not a virgin any more but don't let that realy bother you since many who get into relationships too young are not virgins either
2007-01-23 17:30:49 · answer #3 · answered by Al B 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh, sweetie, my heart goes out to you. I do wish you would talk to an adult (we really aren't so bad!). A terrible thing happened to you, it was not your fault, or your choice, and of course you are still a virgin. As far as the kids at school, you do not owe them any explanation.
You should know that many people who have been raped have scary memories and nightmares about it, and a good therapist can help you deal with them so that they don't happen anymore, or at least not as often. I really hope you will talk to an adult you trust about this.
2007-01-23 17:27:12 · answer #4 · answered by Helen W. 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
this verginity stuff you girls go on about so much...im a bloke an i dont care about it an any lads that do are idiots an dont deserve your time..it is awfull that he did that to you and its very wrong and if you didnt tell the police then you should as this kind of thing happends to a lot more people than you think in fact i bet its happend to other people at your school. the main thing is dont let it ruin your life or in fact dont let it bother you as if it does then your uncle has beat you hasnt he. we have all had bad things happen to us at some time or another but the best way to deal with it is just say oh well so what and get on with your life as there is about 60 years of your life you can be having a good time dont waste any more of your time on the bad things..unless you can get your uncle in court and sent to prison.. now that would be fun lol you show him who is boss ok an not to mess with you.
2007-01-23 17:28:52 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sweety you did nothing wrong but you have to talk to an adult. If not your parents please talk to the school couselor. They have to be confidential but this isn't something you want to walk around with for the rest of your life. You'll always have that memory but you have to heal your heart, mind, and body and the only way to do so is speak up about it to someone you trust. If you have a bestfriend that you know won't tell your secret talk to them and their mom of yours won't listen. I really want you to get help because its not your fault. And as far as the people at school are concerned they don't know you and what your about so just ignore them the best way possible and don't let them see you sweat because that only adds fuel to the flame. Good Luck and seek someone you can trust :)
2007-01-23 17:28:31 · answer #6 · answered by step b 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
None of this is your fault and you shouldn't be embarrased. You should think of the closest adult to you, talk to them and talk to a doctor. The people at school ain't worth $hit! Lastly, lawyer up and put that mother fuc%er behind some really big bars and let him drop some soap. Bubba of the local lock-up will do the rest with all the best and lets just say the biggest. once he knows what thats like he'll be a skittish little bit*h. Good luck and the best of wishes from me and my bro.
2007-01-23 17:43:55 · answer #7 · answered by corpsusmarine 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to go see a counselor. Try a local sexual assault center. They have 1-800 numbers you can call to talk to someone.
You are under no obligation to tell your friends why that hurt your feelings. you can tell them what they said wasnt funny and you took offense to it. End of story.
Your physical virginity was taken, but not your mental virginity. What happened to you was against your will, therefore you cannot be held responsible for that. Now if you choose to go do it yourself, then yes you would not be one. but right now you are fine. But you will need some help. If you are afraid to talk to someone face to face i suggest using a hotline.
National Sexual Assault Helpline
The Rape, Abuse and Incest National Network (RAINN) is the nation's largest anti-sexual assault organization.
Toll Free 1-800-656-HOPE (4673)
Web www.rainn.org
RAINN has a nationwide partnership with more than 1,100 local rape crisis centers and provides victims of sexual assault with free, confidential services 24 hours a day/7 days a week.
2007-01-23 17:23:23 · answer #8 · answered by glorymomof3 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Whether you do it or not is no one elses business but your own.
And being raped at such an early age has bound to left you with scares. But know that there is a place and a time for everything.
Don't russ into anything. Make sure you are with someone that
truly cares about you.Get to know someone well first. Remember
late bloomers are beautiful in their own time. Give yourself time.
Time changes everything and everyone.
2007-01-23 17:27:25 · answer #9 · answered by justice 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Try talking to a counselor you trust or even a good friend if there's one you can trust with this. if not find someone you do trust. Forget about what happened you didn't have any control over it so think of yourself as a virgin.
2007-01-23 17:39:13 · answer #10 · answered by Ballerina13 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋