Example your spouse cheats on you, you have worked it out but did you forgive them and forget about it or did you just forget or did you say you forgave them but deep down you still have not. I have forgiven my spouse for something that he did (not cheat) but I still fear he will do it again, I have never forgotten it but I have accepted it as I forgave him so deal with it. How do you deal with it.
2007-01-23 08:40:26 · 15 answers · asked by CelticFairy 3 in Social Science ➔ Psychology
Usually, they say that forgiving and forgetting go hand in hand. But technically, it takes tremendous energy; bordering on the divine level, to forgive somebody who did you wrong. And more tremendous efforts deep down into one inner self and the mental insight to forget. This is especially true to someone as close to you as a loved one as a spouse or your life partner.
There's a saying: "To err is human. To forgive is DIVINE." How true! By forgiving someone who transgressed against you or did you wrong. You rid yourself off any resentment, ill feelings and the deep-seated ANGER or animosity towards that person. The warm feelings then that overcome you is one of inner peace tranquility and calmness. Try it today. You'll find out for yourself. Your body will thank you for it.
By internalizing any feelings of anger is a sure way to create havoc and stress to your body. It will eat you up inside as you build up tension and produce stomach acids. The endorphins , the feel good chemicals ; released in your system have better positive effects. on both your psyche and body.
Once anger is displaced with tranquility and calmness, one can't help but become peaceful.
So with passage of time, you will learn to forget his transgressions. Just let him know, that he has to earn your trust all over again. If you find so much diffficulty in dealing with this issue. Dwell on the reasons why you love him or married him in the first place. Treasure happy memories and the good times; not the bad. And also, remember, that as you grow older, you tend to mellow and learn to forgive more. The forgetting part is easy to come. It's part of the aging process. Say what!
2007-01-23 09:05:08 · answer #1 · answered by rosieC 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Forgiveness is good bit I just forgive and ill never act the same around them my mom used to hit ne when I was 3 and I don't trust her I do anything behind her back so I just forgive but I also forget!
2016-03-28 23:09:33 · answer #2 · answered by Kelly 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is very tough to just "let go" of matters in the area of trust. Marriages that stay together in the long term do have more forgiveness even though it's hard to forget. We have to think of the times when we fell through in areas of trust or had our temptations as well. There is no perfect person on the face of this earth. Everyone can be tempted and whether they chose to cave or walk away from the temptation shows the level of their commitment. There seems like there's always one person giving more in a relationship whether in the areas of monetary, emotional and committed giving. So depending on which one you are you will tend to feel a bit taken advantage of but at least you'll have the satifaction of knowing you cared.
2007-01-23 11:44:47 · answer #3 · answered by ? 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Forgiving someone for doing us wrong, helps us to move forward. Forgiving allows us to continue with the relationship without prejudice.
Forgetting something done wrong to us is only useful if there is absolutely no chance of it happening again.
Remembering the wrongs, but not bringing them up, helps us to judge whether something is amiss or not. It teaches us to be weary and on the look out for clues of it happening again.
Forgiving, but not forgetting is also only useful if we do not feel the need to constantly pound the other person with the wrongs they committed. Being constantly reminded will only drive the other person away.
2007-01-23 08:51:30 · answer #4 · answered by Nepetarias 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I try to forgive and forget but it is hard to forget. Cheating I do not do either mine cheated on me I divorced him.. Other things though I try to forget it is hard because In the back of my mind I always wonder if it will happen again
2007-01-23 08:45:29 · answer #5 · answered by 'lil peanut 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I dont think I would forgive my boyfriend if he cheated on me unless someone drugged him and he didnt know what he was doing. Then I would forget. But if you do decide to forgive and forget and he wasnt drugged of course it will still be in the back of your mind and probably break your heart everytime you think about it.
2007-01-23 08:44:54 · answer #6 · answered by XoXoGlitter 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Forgive, but forget only if it wouldn't matter if he did it again in the future. Otherwise, just forgive. Not to mention that it's pretty hard to forget.
2007-01-23 08:44:11 · answer #7 · answered by kytigirl200 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I forgive and then I forget. That is hard to do, but it does work best.
2007-01-23 09:47:22 · answer #8 · answered by trhwsh 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That person who you forgave, should know you can never forget, because you are prone to remembering pain (hurt feelings are painful too). It should be in their heart because they love you, to oblige your forgivness with rebuilding your faith in them or reassure your trust in them, for whatever they failed you when the opportunity should arise.
2007-01-23 08:48:47 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If my spouse ever cheated on me I would NEVER forgive and NEVER forget. Hasta la vista.
2007-01-23 08:43:37 · answer #10 · answered by *Cara* 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋