You always hear about maternal instict and love at first sight when it comes to parents, especially mothers, and their newborns. What if I don't feel an immediate bond to my 2 month old baby? I feel very guilty about it but I realize it's not my fault, and I still am attentive to all his needs of course and I would never hurt or neglect him.
Have other moms and dads experienced this??
2007-01-23 08:09:26 · 14 answers · asked by mrs michelle 4 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Newborn & Baby
you need to talk to someone about post partum depression. It is very very common and what you just described is a very common symptom. It doesn't help that you lost your freedom, you never get to sleep and you're lucky if you get a shower...On top of that your hormones are still going crazy
I know it's hard...I just had a baby He's three months old. Talk to a doctor about depression...this should be a cherished time in your life and it can be...just make sure you reach out for help if you need it.
Sometimes meeting up with other moms and getting to know that you aren't alone. And you aren't the only one going through this really does help.
Sometimes getting some time for yourself helps too
I had a little bit of this in the very very beginning...I had a C section so my husband got to bond with baby first because I could hardly walk let alone pick up the baby...once I got up and around again...I got over it...but it's perfectly normal...you just need to spend some time with people in your same situation.
Look into "mommy and me" meetings in your local area...usually the hospitals offer classes like that too.
2007-01-23 08:19:52 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I did go through this with my son. The first 3 months are awful anyway, add to that our guilt for not having that "love at first sight" feeling and it's even worse. I remember thinking, "I've made a huge mistake," and "I don't feel connected to him." I never thought about hurting him, but I just went through the motions even thinking, "if something happened to him, I wouldn't be all that sad about it." IT SOUNDS AWFUL doesn't it! I felt like a horrible person for even thinking it. Now that I'm out of that time(my son is 19 months), I can honestly say that I should have gotten help for depression. I can't say for sure if that's what's happening with you but it might help to speak with a Dr. But if you don't just know that, after a few more months, you WILL have that maternal instinct and you will be totally in love! I really think that more mothers should talk about, what I call, the "dark side of motherhood." It exists, and you're not alone. Hang in there....it's about to get sooo much better!
2007-01-23 09:00:38 · answer #2 · answered by emrobs 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I never felt that, but I know you are not the only one, and I really believe you have post par tum depression, so !! don't feel bad about it, just don't let it pass you by, there is nothing more beautiful than falling in love with your child the moment you saw him and every day after!! and It can still happen to you!! It's a great feeling that you should not be missing!! Give you and your baby the chance to bond the way God wanted it!! Go, talk to your Doctor an he would find a way to help you, don't feel guilty!! just ask for help and everything will be fine!!GOOD LUCK!!!
2007-01-23 08:20:18 · answer #3 · answered by Raquel_02 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well, I'm not a mom, but I do understand where you're coming from. When my brother was born (I was 11) and when I first adopted a dog from animal rescue (age 17), I was sort of indifferent. I mean, I was shocked, but I didn't really have any positive or negative feelings for these very important events. After a few months, the reality settled in my mind, and all of a sudden, I was ecstatic, and so happy with what I got. For me, I think I was just kind of temporarily overwhelmed/stunned, but the adoration came on real soon! Maybe the same thing's happening with you. It's good that you're aware of it, though.
2007-01-24 07:16:24 · answer #4 · answered by -:- Masha -:- 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I did. I wasn't attached to my baby when I was pregnant with him and my Dr knew. He actually expected it, since my other child was born so early and I feared I'd lose my son {he's now 8 months and the sun rises and sets on his little butt in my eyes}. When we had him {a month early} I was so relieved he was perfectly healthy. I was just fascinated by the fact that I had this perfect little human being but I didn't have an attachment that I thought I would have with him. I talked with my OB and guess what, it was because I had postpartum depression. This was discussed at my 6 week check up. I always loved my son but I put a barrier up fearing that something would happen to him that way I wouldn't hurt so much if it did {so i thought anyhow}. My husband was also like this but only because the baby wanted nothing to do with him, now you cant get the two apart. It gets better, talk to your OB its nothing to be ashamed of.
2007-01-23 08:16:54 · answer #5 · answered by texas_angel_wattitude 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It's called post-partum depression depression. You are not alone.
What you need is to talk with a Mom, not a Dad. Sorry, I'm a Dad. You could start with your Mom, unless bad blood or she died years ago prevents you. Then there is the Dad's Mom. Then online I'm sure you could find many forums via google.
2007-01-23 08:22:51 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't feel bad, I kinda felt that way when my little one was a couple of months old until at 3 months when I let my mom keep her overnight, I cried, I missed her so much. You have a bond to your child, you just don't realize it.
2007-01-23 08:16:56 · answer #7 · answered by Proud Mother 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
when i first gave birth to my daughter i had no strong feelings towards her... i was just so exhausted! but i quickly formed a strong bond with her after i had rested.
i have read that it is VERY normal for it to take a little while to bond with your child. sometimes it just takes a little longer... it's best not to compare yourself and your relationship with your son to others... because your relationship with him is unique.
an inability to bond is a symptom of post partum depression, so if you're concerned perhaps bring it up with your doctor
2007-01-23 08:17:20 · answer #8 · answered by h0ckeyl0ver 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Mothers not being bonded to their babies right away is actually not that uncommon. It just doesn't happen for everyone right away. It does not make you any less of a mom(so don't let anyone make you feel that way)
2007-01-23 08:17:01 · answer #9 · answered by mom2ace 4 · 3⤊ 0⤋
It could be a post-pardome reaction. You just need to hold your baby close, feel his heart beat, realize that he is a part of you, and you created him... its a wonderful think bringing a life into this world so cherish it!
2007-01-23 08:16:51 · answer #10 · answered by mskarenjs 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋