I'm a sexual abuse survivor, and I'm in a very loving, committed relationship with someone I adore, and I know he adores me back. I've never been able to orgasm with any partner I've been with, and I would like to break that pattern with my partner, since we will most likely get married.
Can anyone recommend me any material, whether it be books, mental exercises, etc., that can help me break this cycle? Or a link to a website perhaps?
Thanks!
2007-01-23 08:00:23 · 15 answers · asked by x_filequeen 1 in Social Science ➔ Psychology
There are sex manuals by Masters & Johnson which should be available in bookstores. They cover every aspect of the sexual relationship. You have to have complete trust in your partner and do every phase of your lovemaking slowly and find that comfort zone where you know he isn't going to harm you. All the best.
M
2007-01-23 08:07:51 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Orgasms start in the head, but are physical. Can you orgasm by yourself? If not then there might be a physical problem. If you can then it is mental. either way talk with an expert and with your partner.
The more open you are with your partner the more likely you will solve the problem. There are a ton of books and websites, but it will always come down to being open. Your partner should enjoy trying to solve this problem. If you are enjoying sex, then keep trying. It can only get better.
If you past abuse gets in they way of you enjoying sex, then that has to be dealt with prior to the O. Again, talk with a professional.
2007-01-23 08:14:39 · answer #2 · answered by klimp11 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I suggest that you get yourself a clitoral stimulator and practice with it alone, and when you use it, be fully relaxed, and concentrate on the sensations it gives you, let yourself go with it, and bring yourself to orgasm. With practice, you should be able to find that mode (where your eyes roll back in your head!) and relax enough with your partner to slip into that mode and let loose with him! Don't be self conscious about what he's thinking, or how you look, or anything! Just go with it, and I promise you--it will be the best experience both of you ever had!(he will love it!) The main problem is you're too tense(with good reason to be...) but not with the love of your life! He deserves the BEST of your love, and until you find out how to give that to him, that's not what he's getting. RELAX, and remember...he loves you.
2007-01-23 08:13:54 · answer #3 · answered by jakkibluu 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i am very sorry to hear about your bad experience... *hugz*
i dont know what exactly you went through, but i am also a sexual abuse survivor and can relate to your issue.
you have two main choices: consult a professional or deal with it yourself (i personally did everything myself)
well im not going to list everything in detail that i did (if you want more info, you can message me), but mainly what helped was getting totally open and comfortable with the partner.. he knew what i went through, he was patient when i had triggers etc. it's a matter of being able to trust someone so much that youre able to let go of yourself fully.
you might want to look at this article too:
http://www.kalimunro.com/article_sexualabuse_and_sex.html
2007-01-23 08:14:42 · answer #4 · answered by goldenheartcity 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sorry to hear about your abuse. Since it is a mental thing, maybe you can just try blocking your past out and concentrating on what your man is doing. Breathing techniques help too. I wish you the best.
2007-01-23 08:11:43 · answer #5 · answered by Jacuzzi Lover 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is plenty of material to be had on the subject.
Its likely more to do with self-esteem. Sexual abuse can make a mess of self image.
Good luck.
2007-01-23 08:09:49 · answer #6 · answered by philip_jones2003 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A lot of women cannot reach orgasm - that's probably has nothing to do with your past (sorry to hear that btw). There are technics to overcome that - the net is full of advices - just do your research..
2007-01-23 08:05:39 · answer #7 · answered by Michael R 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
does he know what you went through. If not can you tell him about it. you need to feel completely at ease with him. for you to let go of the past and enjoy the present. trust is the key good luck..
2007-01-23 08:08:31 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
become a lesbian because men don't know how to pleasure women. My gf never came wth anyone until she started dating me because I understand the anatomy of an orgasm. Steady respetition then once she starts getting excited seed up the repetition continuously and steady. It might take a while but being consistent pays.
2007-01-23 08:06:00 · answer #9 · answered by Jimena S 3 · 0⤊ 3⤋
I suggest an expert to help you thru this...You need someone that knows how to unlock the door you closed and this indeed takes an expert......good luck
2007-01-23 08:04:16 · answer #10 · answered by The Emperor of Ecstasy 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋