Today it was his shoes and german homework... yesterday a new coat and an oyster card... last week several items including english text books, smart card, locker key, blazer, ties, sports kit.. it goes on. All lost, mislaid, left somewhere. Any practical tips for reuniting a 13 year old boy with his memory... Don't bother with suggested punishments, sanctions, financial penalties, star charts etc. Help needed before he bankrupts me.
2007-01-23 07:57:03 · 12 answers · asked by gnasherr 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Adolescent
You can understand it of course if he'd lost his locker key and had nowhere to stow his stuff. The key is the key if you see what I mean. You've got to think constructively. If it's firmly attached to his backpack bag on an indestructible chain, it's a start, as long as he doesn't lose the bag.
It's my guess it's mostly hormonal and completely beyond his control. Like menopausal women and everyone's understanding when they're forgetful.
I resorted to buying all my son's gear from the school second hand clothing shop, charity shops and a bulk lot from a small fifth form leaver. Then I wasn't so bothered about the losses.
I insisted on dropping and picking him up from school while he was in this phase which got around the oyster card and leaving kit on public transport probs. It's a pain sitting in traffic for half an hour or whatever but at least you'll know he'll arrive fully equipped. At school end, you do a quick inventory and he can go back in to collect anything that's missing before it's disappeared by the cleaners.
I thought the phase would pass and it did. Things got far worse after that! Enjoy your son while you can before he moves into the pulling doors off hinges and trying to sleep out all night in the park drinking cider with unsuitable friends phase.
2007-01-23 08:33:26 · answer #1 · answered by chickpea 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Actually, the financial penalties would serve both purposes here. He might "remember" better if he had to fork over the cash for replacements-at least for those things that can be replaced, and it would keep you from going bankrupt!
Since you didn't want that as an answer though, and you excluded so many other things, I don't know what else is left. I'd say don't let him go anywhere until he finds his stuff, but that's a punishment. Your inclusion of star charts makes me laugh. He's 13, you shouldn't need to babysit him for his stuff, he should do it on his own, we know that. Does simply not replacing what he "lost" count as a sanction? Seems to me if he can't find his sports equipment, he can't play sports. Responsibility for his possessions is the key.
2007-01-23 08:05:16 · answer #2 · answered by desiderio 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
MY brother was constantly leaving his stuff at school, soccer practice, the bus, etc. My parents decided that he would have to make a list of everything he was taking to and from school. There was a seperate page for items he lost or left behind. He would have to include a contact number next to the items he left behind so my parents could call and arrange for a pick-up time. We also made sure to write his name, and our home phone number on all of his sweatshirts, jackets, and sports equipment. This helped him be more responsible-I hope it will also help you out.
2007-01-23 08:07:52 · answer #3 · answered by funniesbyme 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Not much you can do-he's a typical teenager!!Our daughter was like that,and our brothers,infact my brother still manages to lose his keys,phone etc and he's in his 30's! The best thing we found was to put his name in EVERYTHING he owns and hope things manage to find their way back to him. Punishments etc are a waste of time,he's not doing it deliberately,it's a hormonal thing that they all suffer to some degree (some worse than others!).Our Daughter has come home minus her school sweater,socks,books, bag etc...i'm afraid they don't grow out of it for another few years so label his stuff.
2007-01-23 10:26:33 · answer #4 · answered by munki 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No help here. I've lost most everything at one time or another. As the saying goes, I'd lose my head if it wasn't attached to my shoulders! If he's as bad as you say, he might have a mild case of ADD. A check-up might be in order.
2007-01-23 08:03:29 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You're right none of those things will work if you're stupid enough to keep replacing what he looses. I'd say it's past time to let him reap the consequence of what he does. If it's lost it stays lost til he finds it or replaces it himself! Period! He'll stay a baby if you keep treating him like one! Who runs around for you and fixes everything you mess up???
2007-01-23 08:02:08 · answer #6 · answered by wish I were 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Is it that he is truly forgetful or does he not care enough to remember?
If he just forgets things: get him a checklist...bring it to school, post it in his locker or bedroom, somewhere he can see it and remember to grab everything that he needs!
If he doesn't care enough... Leave his stuff lost...don't replace it for him, make him do chores to earn the money to replace it!
2007-01-23 08:02:50 · answer #7 · answered by Sarah R 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i am 15 n i have the same problem its not a wrong thing its just that he could be under a lot of stress or he has something on his mind. try sitting him down and talkin to him its the best thing to do i promiss you.good luck
2007-01-23 09:50:20 · answer #8 · answered by sexy girlie =p 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No more dope?
More sleep?
notepad to say where things are?
Find out if being bullied into handing over stuff
2007-01-23 12:31:54 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
first of all check that he's not being bullied............and if all is ok it seems as though your boy has a touch of genious in him, loses things, bumps into things........
i would really worry if this carries on until late in his school life....
2007-01-23 08:03:30 · answer #10 · answered by fossil 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋