My husband wants anther.....?

Question

My husband wants anther baby I have 2 from anther relationship and we have 1 together. Our marriage has been in trouble for awhile now and I think he thinks that will save it. I dont want anther one. i have said that before and he doesnt seem to hear me. I would be the one home to dael with them all the time he works nights. The thought of taking care of 4 kids by myself does not excite me. I happy with the children I have now. But I think he thinks that will keep me here and thats not what is going to happen I will end up resenting him because of all the work i have to do and he doesnt have to do. Please help.

Answer 1

You're right, you guys shouldn't have another baby. You should let him take care of the three kids by himself for a couple of days, maybe he'll change his mind. Good luck ;)

Answer 2

If you don't want another child and he does, then you shouldn't have another child. Every child deserves to be wanted and loved, and if you already have a full plate with the 3 children you have, then it is unfair to you to expect you to take on 1 more child. Children cannot save a failing marriage, and in fact, if your marriage does fail and you end up divorced, the noncustodial parent will end up paying child support for each child. The more children there are, the higher the amount of support to be paid. I understand the desire for children. Nobody can fault your husband for wanting more children. Still, if you are overwhelmed or feel you have had enough, then he should respect your wishes enough to honor them. HE has not given birth to 3 kids already - YOU have. How were your pregnancies? Did you have any difficulties? If so, then he needs to be reminded of that. I think that if he refuses to listen to you, then you should suggest counseling. You could tell him that if your relationship improves after counseling, then you would consider having another child. This is not committing you to another child. It is instead, giving your husband the opportunity to see things from your perspective with a neutral 3rd party helping him to do so. It is also giving you both a chance to improve your marriage. If your marriage is already strained, I can tell you that the demands of a new baby in the house will only make the marriage even weaker. Your existing children deserve as much stability as you can offer them, and no child deserves to be the catalyst which pushes an already struggling marriage to its end. Best wishes to you.

Answer 3

I agree with the majority. You have your hands full. It's not the right time to be adding to your family if you are already having issues. It won't help, it will only cause more stress that you don't need at this time. My ex worked swing and graveyard for the majority of the time our 4 children were growing up and I did it all, fed them, helped w/homework, went to parent teacher meetings, took them to scout mtgs, attended sports all by myself because the ex was working. I appreciate that he was out earning a living for us and I'm fortunate that I could do those things for our children. I felt sorry for him that he couldn't but even when he could....he wouldn't help so you don't want to be in that situation.
We did the counseling years later and he quit after 2 meetings. He didn't like what he was hearing.

I'll get off the soapbox now and you'll have to decide what is right for you and your family. Good luck.

Answer 4

Say no and get your tubes tied. that will send the message well. If he is meant to tie you down in a series of endless diaper changes and baby feedings to keep the marriage going then he is not addressing the right issues that obviously need to be addressed. You seem to have your hands full as it is. That's why maybe a permanent method of birth control will stop his nonsense once and for all and will give you both the chance to work on you marriage.

Answer 5

you are going to get a divorce,or break up it will happen not maybe you can bet on it . I HOPE YOUR KIDS WILL BE TREATED OK.when the **** hits the fan. sounds like you been around you already had two kids. how old are if you are younger than 30 and your first husband or boyfreind is still alive then you are a quiter.if he was a drunk or druggie or abuser than you should have known. if he left you for someone else get over it.you sound like a cry baby im glad your not my woman i'de knock some sense into your head. you should grow up

Answer 6

That's a big job for a newborn baby: save a failing marriage.
Get some marriage counseling.

Answer 7

It is your body and ultimatly is would not be wise to have a child if the relationship is on rocky grounds. Childen do not save marriages. I think you will need to hold him at bay right now and tell him that right now you are not ready to have another child.

Answer 8

Do not have another child. It is not your hearts desire and you should not do it. If you already have problems in your marriage then as you stated a child will not help matters. If the marriage ends in divorce it will be just one more child to suffer heart ache. Best wishes.

Answer 9

You kind of answered that one all yourself.
Tell him maybe in the future but right now is not option. maybe show him this question your asking.
And most of all tell him," To ask himself is bringing another child in to this household fair for all of us?"
Too much on your plate and from what I'm reading your the one left scrapping off the plate.
You need help not another issue.

Answer 10

I say, don't have another child. I wouldn't be fair to you or the baby to continue in a unhealthily relationship. I think you should ask your husband to attend counseling with you.