I had sex with my sister's husband... what to do?

Question

Hi,
Im new here but i have a big problem. Last night, I committed the biggest mistake of my life. Me and my brother-in-law were on a trekking trip, and we ended up having sex. He came onto me, and i also have always been attracted to him. Well, i got up today and felt really awful and decided i wanted to come back home. I walked up to the main road and took a bus home alone. Im sitting here right now, I dont know what to do. He Keeps calling me on my cell but im not picking up. Help!!!!!

By the way Im a guy. And a little update, Its been 10 hours, and Im staying at a friends tonight until i figure this out. Havent spoken to anyone in my family. I did message him saying, we'll talk tomorrow. Im kinda soar too.

Answer 1

I would advise to NOT Let you sister know about this. The damage will be irrepairable.

Forget this even happened. First of all, pick up the phone, and tell him that u will get back to him once u have collected yourself and cooled off and thought things out. Then get back to him, and tell him that what happened was wrong, and u both are to forget about it and not talk about it or pursue it anymore. Tell him it was a mistake. If he is a guy who also wants to do the right thing, then he will understand.

Answer 2

OMG! You have not only committed a grave sin, but you also betrayed your sister's trust. However, I do not blame you as I believe your brother in law must take the majority of the blame for taking advantage of you. Do remember that, when a guy & a girl are left alone, there is always the devil in between to lure you into doing something that you may very well regret later. I strongly advice you to face up to the fact that your bro-in-law is a real jerk & an *** hole for putting you in such a predicament. Instead of protecting you, he has abused his position of trust & literally ravaged the one thing that matters most to a caring sister like you, respect. Answer his call & aknowledge that you have made a terrible mistake & decide right now whether you want him to confront your sister with this revelation or keep it a dark secret that only both of you share till you marry someone special & move on with your life. One thing you cannot do is deny that it ever occured as you may get preagnant... So tread wisely, as your family's happiness is at stake.

Answer 3

I do not know if you are male or female, so the answer is going to be generic.
First off you need to go to your sister and basically appologise for the next 40 yrs or so. There is no way this will not eventually be found out and you might as well tell now as to suffer the guilt for a while and have her find out another way.
It doesn't matter who hit on whom, but he is married and should not be doing this at all. If he did this with you a sibling you can be darn sure that this is not the first time he has messed around behind her back.
Then you both, you and your sister need to get checked out for diseses. Those who cheat never use protection, they think they are immune.

Answer 4

ouch....ouch...ouch.

Sooner or later ya'll are going to have to talk about it. I would never mention this to your sister and I would never talk to your brother in law again. If you see each other at family gatherings just steer clear from each other.

Remember that there are other relatives involved here. He/your sister might have children. You two made the mistake. Keep the embarrassment to yourselves. Don't screw up other people's lives in the process.

If it had been a 'regular' affair, then I still feel you would have no right to tell her...that is up to the husband. He is the one in the marriage. But this ordeal??? Whew. That really would cause quite the embarrassment. Think about others before you go tattle tailing. Again, you would look just as horrible anyway.

This was consentual sex, right? So there are no legal problems here to report then.

Answer 5

I know what this feels like, my sister broke up my marriage. She started with just as friends, then the drinking and partying. I finally found a receipt for diamond earrings he gave her , plus lots of other evidence. It destroyed my family. My children can't believe it and try to say it is only friendship, but know better it hurts to bad to think there dad is that kind of bum and there aunt that kind of slut. The brother caught them together when I was out of town so that relationship is gone. No one has trust for anyone. Both of you deserve each other and the pain that it cause. You are blaming it on the partying. Blame yourself it takes two. both of you could have said no. Keep your mouth shut. Never go near him again. He is a jerk and will cheat on her again , but just don't let it be you. She will need your support when she catches him cheating . Good luck and God Bless I hope you get your head on straight before you destory everyone in your world.

Answer 6

OK Buddy, I am not the one who will judge you, but there are some boundaries you have to respect. If you do thatt with a friend girl is a shame, but with family that is really a BIG MISTAKE.

But I gonna tell you something, I know and understand tha we are made of flesh and blood and we can make that kind of mistakes. GOD forgive us for every thing that we done, do or will do in the future. But that doesn't mean that we do not have to pay the bills for what we done. there a re consequences. OK forget about that chapter in your life and move on. and for no reason do that again. respect your sister and over all respect yourself. GOD Loves you

Answer 7

I think you know what you have to do. You had better come clean to your sister or you won't have one. You may even not have one anyway but you crossed that fine line of fidelity that holds a marriage together. Don't you know how to say no? Your guilt is deserving of you and you need to be alone for a while so you can feel the pain you have caused. Good Luck!

Answer 8

Yes you do have a big problem. Now you need to answer the phone when the brother in law calls and tell him he need to explain this to his wife.. You also are going to have to face the consequences.

You can try to hide this, but sooner or later it will come out. How are you going to face your sister. I sure hope your not proud of what you have done. THIS IS BOTH OF YOUR PROBLEM!

Answer 9

Wow, you did make a BIG mistake. Now you can tell your sister and hope she forgives you or you can act like it never happened. But whatever you do, do not try to steal your sisters hubby. She wouldn't forgive you and you probably wouldn't forgive yourself! You need to tell her hubby that it was a mistake and to leave you alone. Find someone who you are not related to and go for it.

Answer 10

You have to talk to him and settle this once and for all tell him you made a huge mistake...Don't tell your sister..to do so would only be to try to lessen your guilt...Keep the guilt you deserve to feel bad you behaved like a slut and he behaved like a dog...What the hocky sticks did you two go trekking for any way...you both knew what would happen.