Fighting a loosing battle with your own personality???
I a very shy, nice, and quiet person problem is i have alittle bad streak in the mix as well.I know the type of guy my parents like for me and taught me to go for ie. the good christian guy with great morals and does not party/gets good grades ect.Problem is i am not attracted to this type of person at all mainly because i am not that religious i already had se* with one past long term bf.I also like to go out every now and then to party plus try new things like jet skii.Am i fighting a loosing battle by trying to make my parents happy by dating the conservative guy? My parents seem to push this on me finding the perfect or right guy to date and marry drives me crazy.Should i just not tell them who i am dating i am in my first year of college?
2007-01-23 06:04:46 · 22 answers · asked by Jenny O 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
parents do pay for college and ect.
2007-01-23 06:09:29 · update #1
If you are in college, you are an adult. Date who you want. They don't have to like it, but they do have to respect your individuality.
2007-01-23 06:07:18 · answer #1 · answered by Omni D 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You don't have to report to them whom you're dating at the moment. Just use your common sense, and do what you feel is right for you. If you like to have fun - just have fun; there's nothing wrong with that. You will have plenty of time to find a "perfect" guy, which doesn't mean you can't experience the less-perfect ones in the meantime. The truth is, as you mature, you will probably start to gravitate towards guys that you now don't find attractive (i.e., "perfect" guys from your parents' perspective) - simply because your priorities will have changed. In my early 20s, I married a "bad boy" that I was extremely attracted to; we had our share of good times, but 5 years later, we got divorced. Now, in my 30s, I'm married to a quintessential "good guy", and couldn't be happier. There's something to be said for having a mature stable relationship, enjoying what life has to offer, and not having to worry about how to pay the bills every month.
Besides, a guy doesn't have to be religious to have good morals, good grades, and be successful in what he does. Religion and "goodness" have very little to do with one another. And if you make a mistake - so what; this is your time to make mistakes and learn from them. One piece of advice, tho - always use protection. Good luck.
2007-01-23 06:19:06 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Date who you want to date. You do not have to do or tell them everything if you do not want too. Your in college now. You are a young adult that needs to explore the world on your own terms - make your own decisions good or bad. Do not do something because some else does not approve of what you like and don't like. Live life on your own terms and let other people like\love you for who you are and not what they want you to be.
2007-01-23 06:22:08 · answer #3 · answered by afox1998 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honey, you can't live your life being who you parents want you to be. You will end up shelving your own dreams and just being unhappy, and I'm sure that's NOT what they want.
The dream I THINK I have for my daughter is a cross between George Clooney and Nelson Mandela, with Bill Gates' bank account. Now, if she finds one and falls in love, great :-)
But...if she chooses a partner that makes her heart sing and her eyes shine with happiness - then my real hope for her future is fulfilled right there.
Choose someone who treats you well and makes YOU happy. At the end of the day, that's what counts.
2007-01-23 06:18:54 · answer #4 · answered by belmyst 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Parents always want the best for their kids. Even if that means driving them crazy in the process trying to look out for them. Your parents sound like they love you and want the best for you. But it's your life to live also. There are good guys out there that don't conform to your parents guidelines perfectly, but are still good guys. You are young and want to experience life right now and you probally feel like the guy your parents want for you is a boring choice but later on you might see that they were right. But no matter what it's your life and your choice just keep in mind the choices you make now will affect your future.
2007-01-23 06:14:15 · answer #5 · answered by Bruce W 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get past the bad boys get them out of your system they dont make great husbands! Marry the nice guy that works hard, loves you and wont cheat on you. After you get out of school!
Your parents know this and just want the best for you. Live your life and dont let any mistakes you make, ruin your life! learn from them and move on.
You have to live your own life. Good luck
2007-01-23 06:13:09 · answer #6 · answered by mudd_grip 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Just because you had sex with one boy in high school does not mean that you have to have sex with every boy at the frat party; you don't even have to restrict your dating options to non-virgins. Lots of guys are willing to be in a serious relationship without sex, if they care about you enough.
Also, good Christian boys like jetskiing just as much as the devil-worshipping ones - don't rule out people based on one characteristic and assume they could never have an interesting hobby. Your parents probably just want to see you dating someone who respects and cherishes you, not one who's going to risk your life on the back of a motorcycle. They might conclude that he'd be as risky with your heart.
Find a decent guy who treats you like the princess you are and your parents won't complain, no matter what he does on Saturdays.
PS: Parents always find out when you've decieved them. A good long chat with them about their concerns will make more headway on this issue than concealing it ever could. Besides, if you find someone you want to marry, they'll meet him eventually anyway.
2007-01-23 06:13:47 · answer #7 · answered by Mysterious Gryphon 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Dating is temporary, don't compare it to marriage.
The bad boy type always gets attention from women who don't know what they really want. Try it and find out.
It's fun to be with the guy that parties, but you live with the guy that knows when it's time to go home.
PS: 9 times out of 10 your parents are right. Ultimately it's your decision/mistake/life.
2007-01-23 09:23:01 · answer #8 · answered by DeanPonders 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your parents need to accept your adulthood but you must understand that the will never stop loving and wanting the best for you....
Don't fall into the trap that destroys some many young women..
Marry a "bad boy" for looks & charisma hoping to change his
character flaws...
Ending up divorced, bitter, without support and young children to support...
2007-01-23 06:14:55 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Date the kind of men YOU like, not the kind of guys your parents are in to. Don't let your folks meet any of your boyfriends until AFTER YOU HAVE GOTTEN YOUR BA. Once you've graduated college, you can be open about who you date and you're parents can't do anything about it, since they're no longer paying your bills!
2007-01-23 06:16:26 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
just because your parents may have a say over your schooling (paying for it) does not mean that they have a say over your personal life. sooner or later you will have to stand up to your parents and tell them to start treating you like an adult or face live without contact from you. just because they are family doesn't mean that they are friends. just because they are family doesn't mean that you can be treated like crap. your parents still see you as a 'little girl' and so will continue to treat you as such. but just be prepared to start dealing with college on your own in case your parents decide to take back their 'college tuition' that they are paying for. or you can simply tell them that you are not trying to date anyone and keep you parents at bay while you finish your college (and date guys that you want to date without your parents knowledge). either way...you will have to stand up to your parents. but don't worry about not talking to them...sooner or later your parents will be DYING to talk to you...on your terms. you will have to set boundaires with your family. try searching the interent for books on toxic family members, helicopter parents. although your parents may not be toxic or even considered helicopter...books with these topics may give you some ideas about what YOU can do to keep your parents out of your personal life.
2007-01-23 07:07:11 · answer #11 · answered by cfalways 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋