I was sexually abused by my ex husband, I think, but I'm not sure. He used to do things and show me images that I found horrible and disgusting, not in themselves, I mean if a man wants to be gay, more power to him, and I know that gay porn wouldn't be particularly yukkie to him, but for me, it was bad...he showed it in a bad , dirty way. And did stuff that made me feel sick, but after a while I found it a tun on....I would always be physically ill afterwords, but he would force it on me....Please if anyone had a similar experience let me know....I feel completely alone in this...
2007-01-23 05:59:45 · 14 answers · asked by krissy_butterworth 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I've been separated for a number of months, and cry whenever I think of what he made me do. I don't find it arousing anymore, and never would have if it hadn't been so unhealthy a relationship, but I find it hard to talk about cos I feel so dirty, but I still had to deal with it then...Know what I mean?
2007-01-23 06:18:19 · update #1
You got pressured into doing something sexually that you didn't want to... that's sexual abuse. Don't be confused about that. You're right, it was an unhealthy relationship. He was a pervert.
First, you have to tell someone else. Confide in someone you love or trust. It turned you on, but for the wrong reasons. Your conscience is telling you that what you did was wrong but it wasn't your fault. That inner guilt and repulsion is where the sick feeling comes from.
The next step would be to start working on repairing that image you have of yourself that he put there. Seek help from somebody who cares and is willing to work with you for the long run. No one deserves such pain.
2007-01-23 10:00:17 · answer #1 · answered by DeanPonders 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well that never happened to me but I can say that I know without a doubt that you are not alone. I hear about sick twisted stuff that people do to other people all the time. What you described no one should have to put up with but I have heard of far worse...so no you are not alone and I am not trying to downplay what has been done to you but again to re-emphasise, you are NOT alone. You may find those things arousing now or maybe you always will but just stay away from it as much as possible and just heal as much as you can from what was forced upon you and don't do anything to further the perversion or even feed into it. Understand? That doesn't mean deny it ever happened and push it away and don't deal with it, it just means deal with it but don't go looking for images like that or have sex like that anymore. Just remember, there are over 6 billion people on the world today, someone, somewhere is just as hurt as you are if not worse so you aren't alone, there is just a large distance between you two. I hope this helps you and I hope you don't feel as alone, feeling alone in any situation is one of the worst feelings you could have.
2007-01-23 06:11:37 · answer #2 · answered by J-Dub 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is very common for some that is abused, be it mentally, physically, emotionally, verbally or sexually to start to feel a need to have or experience them. A study was done on verbally abused children between the ages of 4 - 8, and the results of the study were alarming to say the least. Most of the children in a controlled and observed environment were seen to either yell at themselves and tell themselves how stupid they were or do the very things to their dolls, toys...etc. People that have been forced to have sex in certain ways, hear things over and over again, will soon begin to believe that is all they are worth and that is soon linked to fullfilment. You need to see a counsoler that specializes in that area to help you regain your self worth and help you get past this "need" or "turn on" from the things that disgust you. You have been harmed and need to get past it. With help, you can, but you also need to realise that you are better than that and he had the problem, not you.
2007-01-23 06:17:28 · answer #3 · answered by Suthern R 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Abused is never good !!! I'm sorry you had to go through this and I'm happy you moved on. Making love with your wife is a precious gift from God which should never be abused or forced. It's precious :O) It's very unhealthy when you start bringing sick things like that into the marriage arrangement. If someone does that they have some deep underlying problems that need to be addressed, they need help. I hope he changes his ways and I hope you get feeling better.
2007-01-23 06:08:33 · answer #4 · answered by Jason W 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I have heard a lot of people who were sexually abused still felt some kind of pleasure from it. That's often one of the difficulties with children being sexually abused, it feels good to them, but they know its wrong, so they feel ashamed for it feeling good, and they don't want anyone to find out because they feel bad. Still, it is something you should get help with, even if it is normal for people to be sexually abused but still turned on in some way.
2007-01-23 06:05:34 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
He definitely abused you...if he exposed you to and made you do things that you didn't want to do...then yes...you were abused.
Everyone has their turn ons...no matter how normal, how perverted or how sick...
What turns you on...turns you on....however...if you are getting physically ill afterwards...your mind is trying to tell you something. I'm sure your not alone...
2007-01-23 06:07:43 · answer #6 · answered by Miloree 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Physically sexual abuse is bad for anyone and sickening and get some counseling cause this is not good. No one is going to admit their sexual abuse on here cause of shame and emotional reasons.
2007-01-23 06:06:22 · answer #7 · answered by JoJoBa 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Okay, I was going to report this as adult content, but I get feeling you are serious, so I am going to be serious with you. You sound very emotionally weak. You need to seek professional help here, I am afraid for your safety. Please please talk to a professional.
2007-01-23 06:05:56 · answer #8 · answered by javelin 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
NO NOT AT ALL!!!!!!!! The guy who did this to me as sick and twisted and it makes me sick just to think about it.... He used porn on me and to this day i hate porn and it makes me sick!
2007-01-23 06:08:21 · answer #9 · answered by Lady Hewitt 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
my ex made me sleep with other women. now i have no idea of who i am in bed cause i just cant seem to climax.
2007-01-23 06:04:08 · answer #10 · answered by wendy m 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋