My 7 month old Daughter's daycare is placing her in time out for crying....?

Question

This is my 2nd child with a 6 year difference in age. When my son was in dayare, I had no problems. Now, my daughter is going to a new daycare, someone who is actually a good friend of mine. She is the only infant there. She is a demanding child at times, but not that bad. I would say not spoiled, but does like to have attention on her. What baby doesnt. Her daycare provider has advised me that she is now putting her in 'time out.' If she starts crying for no reason, she gets put in a room alone, to cry until she stops. This is so hard for me to grasp and I am not sure if what she is doing is correct or not. I tend to have to take a deep breath every now and then when my daughter is home, but I do not put her in a room to cry. She is to young for that in my eyes. Just need suggestions of how to handle the situation, and let me know if the daycare provider is doing her job right. Thanks!

THANK YOU ALL SOOO MUCH. BELEIVE IT OR NOT, I THINK I HAVE JUST FOUND A NEW DAYCARE. SHE HAS INFANTS ONLY, AND ONLY 3 ALL TOGETHER!! I APPRECIATE EVERYONES ANSWER!!!

Answer 1

i would most certainly say something immediately and if the person is not willing to go along with your wishes i would go to a different daycare. babies that age cry for a reason and th need to respect that, not ignore it. good luck, be strong for your little one.

Answer 2

The daycare provider is very wrong. A seven month old is too young for time out. You cannot punish a child who is too young to understand why she is being punished or even that she is being punished in the first place. I also think that a baby at that age is too young to understand the concept of being spoiled. And at seven months a baby is too young to be left alone for any reason and should be constantly supervised, even when she is playing quietly by herself. Someone should still be keeping an eye on her. I think that maybe your provider either is too overwhelmed and doesn't have enough help, or maybe she lacks the patience to handle an infant. Either way it is dangerous for your child. If she lacks patience, then what is to stop her from physically harming her when she is frustrated by spanking or shaking her? If she doesn't have the enough help, then what is going to happen when she is old enough to get into things? What if she were to stick a fork into a light socket and no one was watching her or if she came across a button that fell of a shirt or a coin on the floor and put it in her mouth? Find a new provider immediately. This one is not meeting your daughter's needs, it is unsafe and putting a child so young in time out is just cruel and unforgivable.

Answer 3

It just broke my heart to read this. No, this is not appropriate for a 7 month old baby. It sounds like the daycare provider cannot tolerate the crying, but that is what babies DO, like it or not. I'm not even sure talking to her would force her to like the crying, either, and you definitely don't want her to lose her patience with the baby. I just don't think this lady can handle the baby, and it could be because she hasn't had a baby in a while, or all the other kids are older, so the baby's needs wear her down more... I'm not sure what the cause is. What I've learned having had 2 kids in in-home daycare is that you listen to your "gut". I seriously recommend that you find another place to care for your precious little girl.

Answer 4

It's a difficult situation, since it is your friend who is watching her and I'm sure feel like telling her how to take care of your child will affect your friendship.

First, you are correct in your gut feeling. 7 Months old is Too Young for a Time Out.

Second, tell your daycare provider that as a *friend*, you value her friendship. As a mom, making choices for your daughter is important. Tell her you are worried that differences of opinion, now and possibly later are going to get in the way of your friendship with each other and you don't want that to happen. Let her know that you are moving your daughter to another day care, not because you don't think she was being taken care of... but because you want to perserve the friendship and not have business (or different parenting styles) get in the way.

If she is a close friend, hopefully she'll understand. If she throws a fit... she might be the one who needs a time out.

PS, It is never an easy situation to tell someone you don't agree with them. I'm sure you will be nervous that this will potentially affect your friendship. Just try to be as tactful and non-blaming as possible while being very firm in standing up for your daughter. You are her advocate. Do what's best for her. You never know, your friend might find it a relief that she doesn't have to take care of an infant but didn't know how to tell a friend it was too much work.

Answer 5

WHOA! This is unacceptable! As the parent, if you are taking care of her and she's crying excessively and your last nerve is about to break, they actually recomend putting the baby in a safe place (ie- her crib) for a few minutes so that you can recollect yourself while she is crying. But for her daycare to put her on timeout for crying? NO NO NO! Punishing an infant for crying is punishing her for inate behavior. Are they even looking to see if the child is crying for a reason? Are her needs being met? Or are they just putting her in a room by herself every time she crys? You need to try talking to this woman and tell her you are extremely uncomfortable with her technique. If she refuses to correct her behavior, you need to find alternative care for you daughter. It sounds to me like the baby sitter may have too many kids to deal with or not enough patience for an infant. You want your daughter in a loving enviroment, not one that will seclude her because she may be a little taxing on the patience level. Try not to let your friendship with this woman get in the way. Obviously try and talk to her reasonably and don't hold it against her if you remove your child from her care, understand that some people are just not good with babies, hopefully she will not hold it against you either. But if it does cause bad feelings, then thats too bad but your baby needs to come before any friend.

Answer 6

WHAT??!!

Seven month olds do not respond to "time out"! Your daughter can't possibly understand the daycare's goals when they abandon her in a lonely room. She's crying because she needs something: attention, a distraction, food, comfort, a clean diaper, or some kind of person-to-person interaction.

It doesn't matter how difficult your friend thinks your daughter is being. She needs to take care of her, not dump her in a room until she cries herself into exhaustion. If she can't deal with a crying baby, she has no business running a daycare!

If you tell your friend not to put your daughter in time out, what will she do next? What kind of resentment will she build toward your daughter? You need to remove your child from her care immediately, no ifs, ands, or buts. If you friend is licensed --and she should be, if you're leaving your baby with her-- she should be reported. 7 month olds are not supposed to be left unsupervised in a daycare environment. If I were in your situation, this would be the end of my friendship with this woman.

Answer 7

I have worked with children in daycare and in homes for 18 years and NEVER do we put infants on a time out!! Crying themselves to sleep is another story. I would change daycare. Maybe one who has more infants. Sounds like your friend is maybe taking your baby as a favor? Maybe she does not have infants in her daycare for a reason, like she does not enjoy babies?

Answer 8

That's not how you treat a baby! For kids that are old enough to understand why it's happening then fine, that's a good method to teach them to quit whining. But she's barely more than a baby, and she is not crying to provoke people. Take her to a new daycare and make sure you know exactly how they treat her when she cries. Locking up a young child alone in a room for no reason they can understand is horrible.

Answer 9

No..she is only 7 months old...as far as I am concerned your daycare provider is not doing her job. She's crying for some attention...she's only 7 months old and she is being abandoned in a room by herself. I'd definately talk to whever is in charge, then find a new daycare...try a family type setting...there is usually less children

Answer 10

She's 7 months old - she's just a baby. She does not know any better and crying is the only way for her to communicate. This is UNACCEPTABLE and you need to find a new daycare right this minute!

Answer 11

No, the daycare is very wrong. a baby is never to be left alone in a child care center!!!! they could get into very big trouble for that. it is illegal to leave a 4 year old alone at daycare, so you could imagine not leaving a baby. also children under 1.5 years old shouldn't be put into time out.

you need to find another child care center.