I've known this Friend for a few Years. And we had a Social Date. As we were leaving, I ended up reaching toward her back, to escort her out of the Restaurant. She reacted, very nervously. As if I was gonna harm her. But I had known this lady, long enough for her to have trust in my intentions. Does that mean, that she's been assaluted. And should I offer to help?
2007-01-23 05:42:16 · 21 answers · asked by Goggles 7 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
That's great that you are concerned, but don't jump to any conclusions just yet. Maybe she was distracted and you caught her off guard. Keep an eye out for any other signs that may tell you there is something more to the story. If you do suspect something - it's best not to ask. She'll tell you when she's comfortable enough to. Just let her know that you are there for her as a friend to trust and talk to.
2007-01-23 06:10:08 · answer #1 · answered by GingerGirl 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
maybe she thought you were going to touch her butt or something? Hard to say - ask HER, not us. We weren't there.
Say something like: I've been thinking about how you reacted when I tried to escort you in a polite way out of the restaurant the other night. Did I frighten or surprise you? I feel like you may have misinterpreted what my intentions are.
Once you bring it out in the open, I'm sure it'll get cleared up. She could have seen someone in the restaurant almost drop something...you have no idea what evoked that response from her, so go to the source!
2007-01-23 05:46:55 · answer #2 · answered by JJ 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She didn't necessarily shy away because she thought you were going to hit her... maybe she just thought you were going to feel her up or touch her inappropriately. Or maybe she doesn't want you getting the wrong idea and thinking she has romantic feelings for you - it's likely she considered this "social" date to be a friendly outing and not a romantic prelude.
To assume she's been assaulted is a pretty big leap, and I think your radar is probably off. And it's not your place to "help" her - if she doesn't like men (or certain men) touching her, that's her perogative, not a "problem" for you to fix. Respect her space.
2007-01-23 05:48:39 · answer #3 · answered by teresathegreat 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It absolutely does NOT mean she's been assaulted. She could have been, but a lot of people just don't like to be touched! Or perhaps, she doesn't want you to touch her. To ask her if she has been assaulted would be presumptuous and in extremely bad taste. If she were ever to bring up to you that she had been assaulted, you may mention "Yes, I noticed you reacted rather strongly that day at the restaurant... blah, blah, blah."
2007-01-23 05:46:42 · answer #4 · answered by P_P_K 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I wouldn't just autmatically assume that she has been assaulted and start a conversation under that note. Perhaps she was only startled?
If you do have this conversation with her, I would say something about her reaction and that it bothered you and are concerned about what she thinks you were going to do. Perhaps it was nothing, perhaps she has been harmed. However, you run the big chance of looking like you overreacted majorly if it was nothing.
2007-01-23 05:46:48 · answer #5 · answered by Dally 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It could be that she wasn't expecting the touch, or yes, she could be suffering from Post Traumatic Stress as the result of some type of violent experience (it's called "exaggerated response") Whatever the case may be, allow her to open up, and if she wants to talk about it, she will. Just keep being the gentleman that you seem to be. Suerte!
2007-01-23 05:46:35 · answer #6 · answered by C. J. 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just bring up the incident, and ask her if you did something wrong. You never know maybe she likes you, but you startled her when you touched her, because she did not expect that. Women like being touched by the right man especially if they have not been held in a long time.
2007-01-23 05:52:22 · answer #7 · answered by Ms Pollyanna 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It sounds to me like she may have just been a little surprised and not too sure what your intensions were. Just keep being her friend and maybe the subject will come out some day. If it bothers you so much just simply ask her about it. Just don't bring up assault when you ask her.
2007-01-23 05:47:25 · answer #8 · answered by Mamma M 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
This was not an assualted intent and the woman perhaps felt that you was flirting in some way and did not want to be touched. It was nothing wrong in your escort attempt.
2007-01-23 05:46:47 · answer #9 · answered by JoJoBa 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe she isn't sure what your intentions are, maybe she thinks you want to be more that friends and she doen't feel the same way. Just talk to her. If you see your self wanting more be open so she'll know and be able to respond one way or another. Nothing more attractive than a man that isn't afraid of communication, and feelings.
2007-01-23 05:50:02 · answer #10 · answered by liz 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋