I met him in the community. He said that he wasn't happy with his wife. He eventually left her and we continued to see one another. We live near her. He sees her almost every day because they have two kids. He also pays for her morgage, over $2000, as well as her car note and her car insurance. He says that he does not want to get back together with her but I am having problems with this. Am I wrong?
2007-01-23 05:29:52 · 30 answers · asked by tiaburkeangry 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
She doesn't even have the kids most of the time. They live with him 20 days a month. Also, he is under no court order because neither one has filed anything.
2007-01-23 05:39:37 · update #1
Wake up sweetie. He is using you. Even if he never goes back with his wife, he is using you. He will dump you for someone new. He has obligations to his wife and they will NEVER end as long as there are kids.
2007-01-23 05:51:30 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
No, you are not wrong. But if he contiue to pay her bills, and he staying with you and can't pay yours they you have a problem. But he does have his kids there . So he can't just leave them out in the cold. What he can do is pay child support out of court. That's why he might be paying tthe bills still ,because she might have him for alimony and child support. she can also try to take his kids away. Really we don't know the full story , you should not have dealt with him any way knowing he had a wife. Because it's two sides to every story. He was telling you he was'nt happy. But just wanted some else to sleep with, she might have not been pleasing him in the bedroom.You ever heard that song, it's cheaper to keep her ,that might be what it is . Well who knows the best for you to do is talk to him let him know that there has to be some changes or he has to take his behind back where he so call dreads going he still paying the bills anyway. She probably gets on the phone and tell her girlfriends that he is down there with you,and still paying all of her bills. I know that they are seriouly laughing at you boo. But i'll put a stop that mess, he will only visit some times, and the kids will come to our house some times. Because you don't know what he is doing, he could still be having sex with her. He don't have to go down there all the time let the children visit him some. Money will issued on needed bases. That if they don't want the courts involved but don't be a fool hon. chow.
2007-01-23 05:57:17 · answer #2 · answered by creamy k 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's people you like you, who have no self respect or respect for others that shouldn't be in any kind of relationship- epsecially one with a married man.
He is with you, which is bad enough- and how dare you get pissy because he is a least taking care of finanical business at home. He is married, and you are the OTHER WOMAN who should not be.
If he really wants to be with you, you'll see him after he's divorced. How dare you begin to date him while he is 'uphappy' in his marriage. All you've done is give him an excuse to leave and something to distract him while doing so.
If he had not met you- an indecent woman willing to **** him while he was married- chances are, he would still be with his wife sorting through issuse- or even being happy.
Men often say that they are 'unhappy' just so that they can get attention. Not because it is true... and then they let it go too far. Now he's stuck with you, but not divorced.
Your a ***** for getting involved with him, and if it were me that you were messing with- I'd come after you!
Get a real life, and a real sense of self- have some ******* respect you selfish tramp!
2007-01-23 05:48:05 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
He is not technically divorced yet right? So his name is probably still on the mortgage, car, etc. that is probably why he is still payiing it. Also, he's paying for his kids to have a roof over their heads....noone can blame him there. When he is Officially divorced then you can worry about him still doing those things. If the divorce is final and he's still "helping" her out...I would leave...unless it's a court order to help her out.
Fact is...like it or not...for the rest of the time you are with him he will have to talk to his wife and kids. They will always be in his life. Plus he will be paying child support until they turn 18. Some guys don't get divorced solely because they can't afford the child support...it's not cheap. So if you can't deal with having his wife and kids in your lives...I suggest moving on now before it begins to drive you crazy.
2007-01-23 05:37:07 · answer #4 · answered by S 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, this is an interesting question. My husband left me 15 months ago for another woman. We had a huge fight when I found out and I told him "You can have the girl, but that's all you'll get" Since then, he's been paying the mortgage and hasn't filed for divorce. He maxed out his credit cards trying to impress her. I think at this point, he's finding out how good he really had it. So, yes, you should get the hell out of their marriage. And yes, he should take care of his family. Because a man who doesn't take care of his family, is not a man at all. I feel sorry for the kids. It seems to me, he's afraid to let go all the way, because maybe he's finding out that it wasn't so bad , after all. Why don't you stop going after other people's husbands? And really, why should you care what he does with his money? Is it because he's not spending all on you? How do you know what is going on when he goes over there? Wise up!!
2007-01-23 13:05:30 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think your in the wrong. Am not try-en to be mean, but you are in the wrong. That is still his wife. And if feels he needs or has to pay for those things, that's none of your business. That's between him in his wife. You have nothing to do with that.Your just dating this still married man.And you have no right to tell him not to pay for the mortgage, car note car insurance or any thing else he decides to pay. Even if you were to move in with him and as long as he married you still have no right to say any thing. This is the prize YOU have to pay for when your dating a married man, with kids. And if and when he gets a divorce he still going to have to pay child support in maybe to the wife. And if you and him did marry don't complain, because you know what your getting into before you do. So think about it. Off the record. What I never understood is when women like you who get involved with men that are married, all of a sudden you feel or think you have the right to tell him about HIS wife, rather if it is him paying her bills or still seeing her, sleeping etc.... so what that's HIS wife. So the problems your having deal with it, you brought that on yourself. You either get out or shut up in don't bring it up to him.My advise to you is find a man who not married. At least you would have him 100%. A married man YOU will never have him 100%. And you know this. So eight-er suck it up or shut it up.In go buy ten stupid things women do to mess up their lives by Dr. Laura C. Schlesinger
2007-01-23 06:46:16 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honestly, you shouldn't dump him for what he's doing. If you two live together and its known that you two are together, then I don't see anything wrong. But if she has no clue that you are in the picture, then dump him.
If he is telling you that he doesn't want to be with her, give him the benefit of the doubt. You don't have any kids with him. So if he didn't want to be with you, he wouldn't. If he wanted to be with her, he would. No married woman that I know would allow herself to be the secret. If there was any funny stuff going on, it would be you as the "mistress" and her as the "wife."
They are still married. How long have you two been together? Does he have any plans on divorcing her? If he doesn't, then you are wasting your time. Time is too precious to be wasting on a married man. And that clock is ticking. So if what you two have is not going anywhere, then leave him now, b4 your emotions drag you way behind.
2007-01-23 05:56:10 · answer #7 · answered by Rica 82 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He is probably ordered by the court to do this but if not then he should only have to pay child support and be there for the kids, that's it. If she looses her house, car, etc. because he stops doing this then she should let him keep the kids if she can't manage all of this and he could use this money for the kids under his care. They are what's important, not her. If he's not ordered to do this then you need to tell him how you feel and if he gets mad then he probably still wants her and you should dump him.
2007-01-23 05:36:08 · answer #8 · answered by AngieBaby 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
apparently he is not divorced, just separated. his kids live in that house. they need to have transportation and the car needs to be insured. you need to realize that you are the other woman and the family always comes first. he cheated on his wife with you, how can you trust him? if he was not happy, he should have gotten divorced before he became involved with another woman.
if there is a divorce, then he is would be ordered to pay or not pay certain bills and you can't be mad about that.
if there is no divorce, then you need to demand that he get divorce if he wants to continue to be with you. if he is not willing, then you mean nothing to him and you need to let him go and find someone who is available to love you. you deserve that.
good luck.
2007-01-23 05:44:03 · answer #9 · answered by fungirl 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
OK. he is still paying her expenses because that is is wife and he is making sure the kids are OK. BUT Did he go to the lawyer yet? No! that means that they might be having the typical marriage problems and he is with you because he is lonely. dear be really care full if you don't want to get hurt. tell him he has to get a lawyer and if he don't want this you should get away from him.
2007-01-23 05:54:17 · answer #10 · answered by sara 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋