when drunk ex may have just been at my door, normally I just would have answered it but I am still in my robe so I didn't....I tried to kinda peek out the window but didn't want to be seen so I am not sure if it was him....didn't get a good luck...this guy scares me, when he is sober...great guy...but when he drunk can be extremely violint...having said that, sometimes I can be a drama queen, (self knowledge!!!) I am remarried now..I dovorce him 4 yr. ago, I live 3 hours from him and have never told him where I am but he can get that info I know,....as recently as 1 yr. ago, maybe less, he took a baseball bat to my husbands mail box, we know it was him...he didn't want a divorce and was really an idiot and drunk throughout...threatend suicide, just to get me to come over...grrrrrrrrr.....tell me my mind is playing tricks one me...thanks.
2007-01-23 05:25:40 · 19 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
If this guy has been violent towards you, I would skip over the restraining order and get a TPO, a Temporary Protection Order. It is much more detailed than a restraining order which people tend to take lightly. A protection order will keep him from knowingly being within miles of where you are, and even if he were to pass you on the road, he is supposed to pull over, he cannot damage any of your property, your pets, not even your mail, he can't come to your house, call you, email you, text you, send you letters or have anyone else get in contact with you on his behalf. It sounds to be like you have a very legitimate reason to fear for your safety and therefore, I would seriously look into this route. If for nothing more, at least to put your mind at ease. Take care and good luck!
2007-01-23 05:39:02 · answer #1 · answered by Melanie 3 · 4⤊ 0⤋
I can't say if today is a mind game or not.
Based on the background you have stated, you need to get a security system installed. You can get a basic camera and monitor at someplace like Radio Shack for around $100. They are easy to install. That way you will know who is at your door without ever having to go near the door and do not have to peek out a window.
In addition, you should get a VCR to hook up to your security system. If you can afford one, get a VCR that records the date & time on the tape as it records (you can get one at an electronic's store that sell security cameras). If you cannot afford to get one that records the date & time, you will have to invest in tapes by the case. The reason is the courts. If your x does something, you will have to have enough tapes with date and times written on them (cannot reuse the tapes ever!) showing a regular pattern of recording. If you don't, the tape(s) if his activity will not be admitted as evidence.
You say when he's sobor, he's ok, but that won't stop him from killing you or your current hubby when he's drunk. Protect yourself and get him in jail.
If you don't have a restraining order, get one!
Good luck!
2007-01-23 05:36:33 · answer #2 · answered by c.s. 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Well that is a scary story, and I am sorry you have to endure that. I don't want to scare you but you never know what anyone is capable of, especially when substance abuse is involved. However, I think that even if law enforcement is to far to respond timely, you need to call them. Down the road if his behavior gets worse or he actually assaults you, you will have no record or legally admissible documentation of his past behavior. Think of it as CYA, you don't want to start at square one if you decide to take legal action against him (i.e. restraining order, or pressing charges of some sort). Generally you can call and make a non-emergency report over the phone or on-line. In the meantime I would take actions to protect you, your family and your home. Have you done all you can to secure it? (locks, lighting, alarm system, neighborhood watch, etc.) Good Luck, and be safe!
2007-01-23 05:42:47 · answer #3 · answered by NeNe 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Your mind may not be playing tricks on you. Get A RESTRAINING ORDER, NOW. Most women who are killed in this country are murdered by ex-husbands and ex-boyfriends; don't become a statistic. Let your husband know your concerns; let the police know your concerns. It is Federal law now that the police have to investigate domestic issues; too many woman have died behind sorry and psychotic exes. Want an instant a-s-shole? Just add alcohol. Go to the police. If they don't listen, go to the state police. But get help. Good luck and God bless.
2007-01-23 05:31:58 · answer #4 · answered by Judy W 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
It is possible that your mind is playing tricks on you.
But to alleviate some of it, have your husband install motion sensors on your outdoor lights. These are easy to install and set up. If you are concerned maybe consider a restraining order on your ex. Keep your husband informed about everything going on around yourself and house. Also have good locks put on your doors and windows and use them. Maybe do the reverse on your ex and have him tracked to see where he is and what he is up too, maybe he has moved on and you don't have to worry any more. But keep your husband in the loop so he doesn't think you are still in love with your ex.
2007-01-23 05:36:12 · answer #5 · answered by whippitch 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Your mind is playing tricks on you.
In all seriousness you may want to be careful and even try to place a restraining order against him. If he is crazy when he gets drunk he could really hurt you...be careful.
2007-01-23 05:41:34 · answer #6 · answered by laurel 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Install a video camera outside or a perimeter alarm. Have someone you know(big and unemployed) hang out at your house with you to protect you. Do not let him intimidate you!!! Let him know that(if its him) that he is breaking the law by bullying and scaring you. Good luck. If it gets worse, call the police. Hey! I just thought of something. Get a big dog, one that will bark at strangers, and tie him up outside. That is an effective, cost-cutting measure.
2007-01-23 05:31:26 · answer #7 · answered by Obi-wan Kenobi 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I would keep some sort of weapon and phone near me at all times, just in case, and maybe get a security camera set up at your front door, that way you can see who's at the door before you answer it.
2007-01-23 05:34:19 · answer #8 · answered by Haven 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Your mind MAY be playing tricks. However, please dont take that chance. I DO hope that you have a restraining order against him. And be sure to keep one eye always over your shoulder!
2007-01-23 05:37:09 · answer #9 · answered by iyamacog 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Looks like he is violent and you may think about taking some legal matters.
2007-01-23 05:33:38 · answer #10 · answered by JoJoBa 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋