Hi, I just wanted some opinions... We have been TTC for 5 months, and a few people know this, like my mother and best friend, but I was just curious what people thought about telling family before conception or just waiting for pregnancy.
Oh and on an important side note, we are engaged, but not married yet. (Please no mean remarks!)
2007-01-23 05:15:20 · 18 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Trying to Conceive
I am in your exact situation! (Or at least as far as my family knows). My husband and I eloped, but are telling our families we're engaged so that we don't deprive them of the big wedding.
As far as ttc is concerned, we're not telling anyone but a couple of close friends. We know our families will think we are silly for doing things backwards (because they don't know we're actually married). Not to mention that trying to get pregnant doesn't really seem like news. It's exciting for you and I, because we're doing it and we want a baby, but people tend to form their own opinions about what is right for other people around them, especially concerning starting a family. It isn't right, but they do it. Some people might be happy about it, but most people will either think it's not news (the mentality being, "tell me when you're ACTUALLY pregnant") and other people might secretly think you're crazy or openly dissuade you from ttc until you're married. This is your decision, and you really shouldn't allow others to have a say. Once you're pregnant, there's nothing for people to do except be happy for you.
My husband and I have decided not only to wait until I'm pregnant to tell people, but to wait until I'm at least 8-10 weeks along. There is something like a 25% chance of miscarriage in the first trimester, so we don't want to tell the big news and then find out we lost the pregnancy.
My advice to you is to keep this a private matter for the time being. I know you are BURSTING, because I am. But having sex with your partner and trying to have a baby is something that's usually only REALLY exciting to the people involved and maybe a few really close friends. Besides, it's kind of fun and romantic to have secret just between the two of you. And when you are finally pregnant, everyone will be so surprised!
Best of luck to you and babydust!
2007-01-23 05:29:58 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
There is really no reason to tell others you are TTC. They will just constantly ask you, even you are tired of being asked and possibly at bad times when you thought you were pregnant and found out otherwise. Best to keep it to yourselves and only share the news when it's official. Makes the process much less stressful--less people you feel like you are letting down--and allows you to relax and concentrate on the important things.
2007-01-23 05:44:36 · answer #2 · answered by ? 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My first pregnancy we told everyone the very next day after a pos result. Same thing with the second one. But I miscarried that pregnancy at 9 weeks and I swear the hardest thing was having to tell everyone. Over and over about how it happened. The "it happens for a reason" (the worst). This pregnancy we told no one until 9 weeks, but your chances of miscarriage don't drop until you are at 12 weeks. If you are young (under 30) and in good health and haven't miscarried before, I would wait until 8 weeks at least.
2016-05-24 01:13:13 · answer #3 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Great question!
When my husband and I got married we told our closest friends and family that we wanted to start a family right away. Too bad we didn't know that I have PCOS and he has a low sperm count!
Now, almost four years later our fertility is the topic of everyone's conversation. My mother-in-law saw an appointment card in my calendar for a fertility specialist in our town. She told my mother...who told my best friend...and so on....
So now every test we have, every procedure, they all have to know...and they all (in a very loving way) have to offer their opinions. Every holiday or every time we have something to tell them (like job promotions, buying a new house) they all think we're going to tell them we are pregnant.
It's kind of to the point now where when we do finally get pregnant, it will be anti-climatic when we tell them. Everyone is just expecting it.
But, on the flip side. I have had all of the people I love to lean on throughout this process. Which has really kept my husband and I from going crazy! They keep us in check and offer us both a shoulder to cry on.
So, I guess in the end you have to make the decision that's best for you. But, hopefully I gave you something to think about.
Best of luck and baby dust to you!
2007-01-23 06:24:50 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
TTC- Trying To Conceive.
I wouldn't tell them, like they say you don't want people bothering you every month to see if your preggers or not, and then if you M/C or something then everyones feelings will be down. I would just wait until you find out your preggers. When I get pregnant I will wait till I am 12 weeks to tell anyone besides my hubby of course, just because you want to make sure your in the clear.
2007-01-23 05:23:32 · answer #5 · answered by echc 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My husband and I got married in October and we wanted to start a family right away. We told our families that we were going to start trying to have a baby and they were excited. The only bad thing about it was every time somebody would call I would get "so are you pregnant yet?" and it got a little bit annoying. After a good month of that I started telling everybody not to ask. It's all up to you and good luck!!!
5 weeks
2007-01-23 05:29:16 · answer #6 · answered by iCANgrowTWINS 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would let your closest friend of mom know, like you said, for support, but I wouldn't really tell anyone else. If you don't get pregnant or it takes longer than expected, it may be dissappointing. Also, if you tell everyone you're TTC, you will surely come across nosy people asking too many questions or making comments. I would personally wait to say anything until you know for sure you're preggers. Good luck!
2007-01-23 05:22:56 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Wait until after the wedding. Don't you want some special time as a married couple to be together before having kids. Trust me you can never go back. If you don't wait trust me someday you will remember this and wish that you had took my advice. I love my kids more than anything but I sometimes miss the special times that my husband and I had togehter alone as a couple. You can never go back.....
2007-01-23 06:22:53 · answer #8 · answered by mom of twins 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't share that information with them, it will just put more pressure on you. And being engaged means you have a ring and a date (not just some guy that says "yah baby I'll marry you someday). So, if you do have a ring and a date, do you really want to be walking down the aisle with a big belly?
2007-01-23 05:21:21 · answer #9 · answered by Heather Y 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
It took my hubby and me over 2 years to finally conceive with medical help. We decided to tell our families and close friends because we needed their support and their understanding. They needed to know what were going through because there were times that we either needed their help or needed to be left alone. We made sure to tell them what the ground rules were (like not to ask us results after procedures but that we would tell them when we knew) so that we didn't feel any pressure from them. If you think that you can get support from others without any added strain then I say go for it! You need as many resources as possible as it can be one of the most trying times of your relationship. Good luck to you two!
2007-01-23 05:38:16 · answer #10 · answered by salan656 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋