Alright my wife wants to have kids and she’s been having a hard time adjusting to the fact that she married a man with 2 kids from a previous marriage and she has a child from an impulsive fling she had when she was 22. I had kids with a woman that I didn’t really love but I was young and thought I was in love(and married). She just wanted a kid and this dude she had a kid with has never even seen my step daughter (and doesn’t pay any child support). I want to have a kid with my wife but she thinks I don’t want to because I’m thinking just of my kids and I’ve had enough kids with my ex. wife and don’t want any with her. That’s got her in the thinking that my ex. is better because I at least had children with that woman but I won’t with her. I told her I would but I’m wiser and older and we’ve only been married a year and can’t even get a budget together yet! She has this thing in her head about me being selfish and that I don’t love her like I loved my ex. wife and that isn’t the case. I’m just being responsible and want to give a kid between us what none of our kids had (a good stable home environment prior to them coming into this world). She just sees it as me not loving her and using her and not being fair to her desires. She’s driving me nuts and I can’t get her to use her brain and quit using her feelings to drive this nutty train of thought she has going on. No matter what I say she has this mental block that I don’t love her and I’m just using her to raise my kids. Never mind the fact that I’m helping pay and love a daughter that isn’t even mine. If I didn’t love her I would tell her we are having separate checking accounts and I don’t even want to pay or take care of another man’s kid period. She’s nuts about this.
2007-01-23 05:05:23 · 7 answers · asked by survivor 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I can see that you are definitely getting to your wits end. Have you tried looking at it from her perspective?? We all know that children take money....but stop looking at the money issue for right now....do you love her? do you WANT to have children with her?? Men think with their heads...women think with their hearts...you are totally right in wanting a stable home environment...and she's also right in wanting a baby that will complete the bond between the two of you. Noone can predict the future, noone knows where they will be in the next year. If you are committed to her...and she is committed to you...and you both are in this for the long haul....it shouldn't matter whether you have a child now or later because you'll make sure that child is taken care of just like the children the two of you already have. I hope i've helped you in some way. I know its not a clear cut answer and you do need to think about it....I just hope the answer is one the both of you can live with.
2007-01-23 05:38:56 · answer #1 · answered by Miloree 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
the best way to handle this and stop the naging is for u to set a date for her. tell her that u want to have a child after 1 or 2 or whatever number of years and during this period try to establish ur lives financially. on the other side u'd know during this time if the relationship u have is worth bringing a child into. at the end, u should have a a child with ur wife, and she has the right to ask u that, but u can just say, all in due time.
2007-01-23 13:26:05 · answer #2 · answered by rami a 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
YOU are absolutely right. But it doesnt sound like you're ever gonna convince her. She sounds very insecure, and apparantly feels a child heals e/thing. Just as apparantly she does NOT see that it did NOT work prior.
2007-01-23 13:15:16 · answer #3 · answered by iyamacog 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sorry dude, sounds like her ovaries are talking louder than he brain. There's no remedy for it.
2007-01-23 13:14:00 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Answer it? I could barely read it. Less caffeine would be a great start.
2007-01-23 13:22:49 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
That's way too much.
2007-01-23 13:12:10 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
u are right
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2007-01-23 13:15:01 · answer #7 · answered by mr johnson 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋