Ok all, I need some help on this one. I have a friend who has a MAJOR weight issue and she has some health issues. She is to be watching what she ets and she would rather eat the same stuff she has. She wants to have another child and her DR told her she has to loose between 60-70 pounds. She has asked a lot of her friends for help and when we go and help her she has a cow and gives up. What should I do? I am on Weight Watchers and doing great, I have tried to get her to come and she wants nothing to do with it. I don't want to see her more depressed then she is. Any suggestions or shoud I just leave it alone? I am getting tired of hanging out with her when she keeps saying mean stuff about herself. My husband thinks she is out of control. What is bad her husband wants to help and she won't let him.
2007-01-23 05:02:24 · 10 answers · asked by Sharon C 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
Rule number one with any addiction problem (and this is an addiction problem) is that they have to admit they have a problem. You can try an intervention with all of your friends and confront her. Short of that I would tell her that she is toxic and you don't want to hang with her until she gets her act together.
2007-01-23 05:07:16 · answer #1 · answered by inaru816 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I am in a similar situation; I'm a loyal Weight Watcher, having lost over 50lbs two years ago, and I believe whole-heartedly in the program. I even convinced my boyfriend to join up. His sister, however, is incredibly overweight with a host of other health issues, and cannot have children therefore. We have encouraged her to join WW but she is too afraid of being the fattest one there. Currently, she is supposedly watching her diet and working out a little in the living room, and I've heard that she's lost a little weight already.
Tell your friend that even if she is the heaviest one at WW, there will be people there who used to be her size and who can offer her some emotional support. If she is unconvinced, ask your leader or find a member who has lost a considerable amount to have lunch with the two of you and work weight loss into the conversation.
The strife this must be causing in her marriage must be immense, especially since her weight must prevent her from having the best possible relationship with the child they already have and from having a meaningful sexual relationship with her husband. He needs to put his foot down and force some changes - perhaps he could join WW with her and make it a family event.
2007-01-23 05:14:58 · answer #2 · answered by Mysterious Gryphon 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
For starters, I would be honest with her and tell her everything you just wrote. If you're really at the end of your patience, there's nothing to lose by being really honest with her and saying "look, you know I'm your friend and want what's best for you. I want to help you in any way you'll let me, but I can't stand by and watch you continue to complain while you do nothing."
Weight is such a sensitive issue, and so personal. It's usually impossible to ever put yourself in that other person's shoes.
So the best thing you can do is be brutally honest and try to help, and if she refuses then there's nothing else you can do. Sometimes people are so self-destructive that it even begins to affect the other people in their life--and you can't let it start to affect you negatively too.
2007-01-23 05:08:18 · answer #3 · answered by Lily 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
tell her that if she wants another child,she should loose the weight.if she is that determined to have a child,she would do it.take her 4 simple walks and tell her husband 2 do the same.even try going 2 lunch with her at a low-carb diet restaurant.also tell her that if she looses the weight,u guys can go on a shopping spree and get u both some new clothes!!!!!!!!!!
2007-01-23 05:26:43 · answer #4 · answered by Jennifer T 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First she needs to want to lose it
Second, I just started Jenny Craig. I love it. The food is soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo good. You get to eat brownies, and lasgna, and burgers and stuff anf i have lost 2-1/2 pounds in 2 weeks and I am still going. I woudl suggest that. It is worth it
2007-01-23 05:19:07 · answer #5 · answered by Molly SH 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
the next time you go to the gym ... invite her ... come up with a goal ... and help each pther reach it ... and tell her how you feel about her beating herself up about the weight ... be an accountability partner for her ... for each other ... use reverse psychology ... although you have seem to have taken control over your weight issues .. its harder for her ... appear that you have struggles too .. this way she wont seem alone ... uplift her .. encourage her ... "Love bears all things" . 1 Cor 13
2007-01-23 05:14:57 · answer #6 · answered by Bella 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can't do it for her. She has to want it bad enough for it to work. Congratulations on you success and don't let anything bring you down on your own successes. Intervention is a great help but with any addiction she has to hit bottom. Good Luck
2007-01-23 05:13:49 · answer #7 · answered by kellyfl59 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Going on a diet is hard, but maybe she can do something as simple as walking. Take her for walks and that should help her. Good luck!
2007-01-23 05:05:44 · answer #8 · answered by Nightmare 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would say that having another child is not so important to her. Tell her that, and if she gets pissed, then so be it. Don't concern yourself so much with her, just continue on with your success!!
2007-01-23 05:32:21 · answer #9 · answered by Littlemissy 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
do what u feel
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2007-01-23 05:11:44 · answer #10 · answered by mr johnson 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋