We've come to the end of the road. I've suffered emotional and physical abuse and I've waited long enough for things to change or get better. Now all I want is to make my move without a lot of conflict and to be happy again to raise my child in peace. What precautions should I take when trying to move?
2007-01-23 05:01:49 · 8 answers · asked by Kisses 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
make sure your name is off ALL bills/ leases etc so he cant sabotage your credit by not paying them on purpose.
2007-01-23 05:06:03 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Congratulations on finally leaving an abusive situation. Just realize when you leave you should take everything you want because you may not have a second chance to get anything. That includes clothing, toys, pets, pictures, CD's, you name it.
I would go see a good lawyer for advise imediately. You may need it. And contact a women's shelter for advise or possible a place to stay if you don't have one with family or friends.
I would go to the bank, close the savings and checking account to insure I had money. I would cancel any credit card with my name or at least immediately get my name off the card. With your name on those accounts, I would expect you are legally responsible. Think of anything you have jointly with him!
Since you have a child, you may want to go to his school (if old enough) and let them know only you can come and pick up the child. But that could require you finally call the police and charge him with abuse/assault. He may not want to locate you but with a child involved, I expect he may since unless proven an unfit parent he has a right to visitation if not custody (hence the lawyer).
Leaving will be hard but once you make the decision, the move has to be final. Going back is not a good option for either you or the child. It may take time to plan, quiet and with family/friends you trust.
2007-01-23 13:19:38 · answer #2 · answered by banananose_89117 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
first, make sure you get a good lawyer. then you need to get a new place to live. right before you leave, either take your name off his bills or take his name off your bills so that you are not responsible for whatever he does after you leave. when you do leave, do it all in 1 trip. do not leave anything behind. make sure you return his keys as soon as possible as well so that he can't accuse you of comng back into the house. take copies of his tax returns for the last 5 years so that you can prove how much money he is capable of for child support. please, insist on child support. it is not for you. it is for them. even if you don't need it. you can put it in a bank account for them and give it to them when the go off to college or move out on their own.
almost no divorce is without conflict, especially when there are kids involved. and especially when one spouse has been abusive to the other. always make sure you tell your lawyer everything that is going on. and always make sure you have proof of all communication with your husband. e-mail him about everything and keep copies. keep copies of all his replies. if he leaves messages on you phone, do not erase them. keep a record of everything. when you contacted him and what it was about (if you called him, e-mailed him, sent him a letter). if he comes to your house acting crazy, call the police and file a report.
i know this seems a little excessive, but divorces can become really nasty and will basically be a he say she say situation and them more tangible evidence you have, the better off you will be. good luck to you.
2007-01-23 13:24:04 · answer #3 · answered by fungirl 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
This is a hard one. All I can say is I hope the best for you. Always think of the child. There are so many things that you could do. Maybe you should try to talk to the police department and see what thay have to say. Good luck.
2007-01-23 13:06:25 · answer #4 · answered by lady bug 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
make sure you get copies of all legal, medical and financial records. Have a large male relative with you. Oh, file for divorce first, with a protective order protecting all of your joint assets.
2007-01-23 13:06:54 · answer #5 · answered by mingcrew 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
do it when he is not home . or have the cops there when you do move .. maske sure the kids are not there just in case there is some issues , they do not have to see or hear it . good luck to you and stand strong!!!!!
2007-01-23 13:52:56 · answer #6 · answered by blueflowerscs 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
say its over to someone your leaving with
2007-01-23 13:06:18 · answer #7 · answered by Destiny W 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
all
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2007-01-23 13:11:58 · answer #8 · answered by mr johnson 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋