My friend has been with her husband for a total of 2 years, and has been miserable since day one. In fact 3 months ago she asked him officially for a divorce but changed her mind because her "vows before God."
She is 24 and found out me and her other good friend are pregnant. She was very jealous and said she wanted a baby too. So she purposely got pregnant even though her marriage is rocky at best.
I am so frustrated with her and her selfish actions. I almost want to cut her off! She causes so many problems in her own life by being an immature brat and it stresses me out to hear about it all of the time.
Should I just distance myself from her? She told me she plans to take her baby with her to house parties and bars so they can drink with their friends.
I just don’t agree with her lifestyle or parenting skills. My husband refuses to hang out with them because of all their problems and fighting.
Is it time for me to move on from the friendship?
2007-01-23 04:32:39 · 19 answers · asked by PrettyWifey 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Pregnancy
I'd say it's time for you to move on
2007-01-23 04:36:31 · answer #1 · answered by Chewie 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
You already know the answer to your question.
But if you are still not sure, ask yourself this, Do I want to hang around with a shallow person?
I feel so sorry for your friends baby, what a nightmare.
Just start being unavailable and eventually she will move on. You don't have to actually tell her you are not friends anymore, just don't call her and meet with her.
If she calls don't answer the phone and don't return messages.
If you want to give her sound advice tell her that marriage takes alot of work on the part of both people and having a baby is a huge responsibility, there will be no partying, me time or anything of the sort - life as you know it dies when you have a child - and you are reborn as a new person, at the birth you become a Mom.
2007-01-23 04:42:19 · answer #2 · answered by fizzents 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Ask yourself this very important question: Will you be losing anything crucial to your survival if you cut ties? Or will you be gaining your own self-respect and happiness back? Some people cannot and will not change. If you choose to be her friend through all her careless ways, are you ready to lose yourself in the bargain? Perhaps the only way you can be a good friend in this situation is to not be her friend, so that she understands you are against her immaturity and possibly dangerous and negligent parenting skills. Also, you should understand that there are plenty of other people in the world who are on the same maturity level as you and will be much better friends for you.
2007-01-23 04:45:53 · answer #3 · answered by keonli 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i would distance myself, she sounds very immature..you don't decide to have children because all your friends are. Your friends will not be there raising the child for the next 18 plus yrs. If i thought there was a chance i would want to divorce my husband the last thing i would do would try to get pregnant! If i was you i would just go on with your life, if she calls be friendly but you don't have to agree to hang out and if she asks about why you are diffrently, be honest and tell her you think she is wrong..you need to be around people who have a good infulence on your life and she is not having a good infulence! So hang out with postive couples, don't let her drag you down !! Good Luck!
2007-01-23 05:08:27 · answer #4 · answered by Ms.DaSilva 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You call her your friend , yet you want to distance yourself from her? She thinks of you as a friend and wants to enjoy the same pleasures that you are enjoying, do you grudge her that? If your a true friend you would help her out, and not be thinking of ditching her at the moment she needs your friendship the most. Being pregnant and not getting any support from her husband is bad enough for her to have to deal with being deserted by her friends as well. The reason she could be behaving like this could be a feeling of insecurity, a sense of failure, lack of love in her life, lack of spirituality etc etc. Your friend needs serious help if she plans on taking her baby with her to bars and parties. I wonder if your allowed to bring a baby to a bar where you come from. In many countries they would not allow that. If she is so irresponsible to be taking her baby to house parties so that she could be drinking along with her baby, I wonder how many people would encourage that sort of behaviour enough to even consider inviting her to a house party. Im not taliking about others, I personally would not invite a lady to a house party if I knew that she was going to be drinking and have someone else take care of her child. Other guests would like to enjoy the party as well you know, rather than having to baby sit some drunks child. So what she is talking about is not something she could practically do, though in all her irresponsibility she would like to. I dont think jealousy could be a reason for anyone to want to have a child, there are other reasons, one of them the longing of a woman to be a mother. For all you know, once the child comes, hopefully she would become a responsible mother, and maybe her life would get turned around. I wish her all the best for her future, and hope you continue to stay her friend, and help her through the difficult times she is going through. Best of Luck and May God Bless all of you!
2016-03-28 22:49:40 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I feel sorry for the baby that she's bringing into the world. What a mess! Definitely drop them from your friendship list and go with your husband's POV.....they're not worth the drama and stress. Sounds like you've matured and she hasn't. Bring people into your life who are positive, nuturing, and hold values the same as you.
2007-01-23 04:41:44 · answer #6 · answered by chnchita 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
if you feel its the right time to move on then do so. keeping a friendship that you don't want will just cause more stress to you and right now you dont need that. hopefully she will learn once she has the baby what being a mother is all about. good luck to you.
2007-01-23 04:37:56 · answer #7 · answered by littleluvkitty 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
The best thing you can do is stay out of her life. She is a grown woman and can make her own decesions. You dont need to strees yourself out now that you are pregnant. You have been a friend for her and have done all you can. She has to learn on her own. The best way to stand is to fall on your face first and that is whats going to happen to her.
2007-01-23 04:42:22 · answer #8 · answered by smiddro 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would because she will just end up bring you and your family down with her. Pray for that poor baby that before its born, she will grow up some and give the baby a chance at a good life. Good luck and congrats on your baby.
2007-01-23 04:39:38 · answer #9 · answered by kristin h 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Always choose your friends based on their character. Not just because their nice or fun or if you've been friends forever.
If shes not a good person in your eyes.. distance yourself.
She sounds very destructive, to herself her baby and you don't need that stress.
Surround yourself with good positive friends.
Most of us have crazy family to deal with we don't need to pick friends like that too!
HAHA
Good Luck with your baby!
2007-01-23 04:40:13 · answer #10 · answered by dancemikey 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
yes it's time for you to cut your ties. my friend Stacey is the same way. I'm pregnant with my second daughter due april 23rd and she all the sudden became pregnant and is due april 18th. she pisses me off so i told her that i wish her all the luck in the world but i needed to focus on my babies. she got mad and said that it was because of my fiance that i was acting this way because him and her have never gotten along which is not the case so i told her that she was just obnoxious and that i wanted my space. i don't suggest you end it this way but you gotta be honest.
2007-01-23 04:39:27 · answer #11 · answered by *~*Jon-Jon's Mommy!!*~* 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋