What kind of circumstances or environments would help someone fess up easier to a big lie they've been burying for years?
2007-01-23 03:49:34 · 18 answers · asked by maybe this will help-Harvey Milk 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
if he is on his deathbed
2007-01-23 03:52:30 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
A man will feel most comfortable coming clean about his affairs under two general circumstances:
1. He is dying. He won't have to live with the consequences.
2. He doesn't care what she thinks or feels. Psychologically, at least, he has already left the relationship and doesn't have to live with the consequences.
Less comfortable would be:
3. He is so full of himself and wrapped up with his own needs so badly that he just can't stand to carry the guilt by himself anymore and needs to burden her with the tawdry details. His need for punishment is more important than sparing his wife any suffering. If he were a man and felt guilty, he would stop what he was doing and then carry the burden of guilt on his own as a reminder of what he shouldn't ever do again rather than torturing his wife and ruining his marriage.
2007-01-23 03:56:46 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well this could depend on your relationship. If you have a great relationship one could say that he is being upfront and honest with you and letting you know everything that is happening to him. It might not make sense to you why he told you but would you rather hear it from him or from someone else that he was told that. If your relationship isn't going so well then he could be testing you to see what kind of reaction you give. All in all this is a hard question to answer. If you truly love him and trust him then he did the right thing. Just always remember one thing...The truth is the truth even if it hurts but a lie is always a lie and will continue to grow and it will always hurt more then the truth. Good luck
2016-05-24 00:57:42 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am not sure what purpose it really serves other than demolishing her feelings and any shred of trust that she may have had in you. I say get out of the relationship, no need to tell her as it sounds as if the only motive for telling her is to clear the guy's guilty conscience...which is self serving and does her no good in the long run. Find a good therapist and spill your guts and deal with your guilt issues there...and perhaps at the same time determine what it is that led you into having the affair and being deceitful in the first place.
2007-01-23 04:16:20 · answer #4 · answered by chick33 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
U will never feel comfortable when u tell her. Don't do it in public like over a nice dinner. Go to one of u guys favorite parking spots over looking the city and just tell her. Be honest, let her know u made a mistake, however u come home to her every night that should count for something! We all make mistakes. Mess me up shame on u, mess me up twice shame on me. Be very honest and understand how u would feel if u were in her shoes. Communication is the best thing going on climb aboard!!!!!!!!!!
2007-01-23 03:58:04 · answer #5 · answered by vickie p 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why so you can get over your guilt and put it all on an innocent person to create more stress and hurt for them? Think of all the people it will hurt if you tell and whose lives will be destroyed.
NEVER NEVER NEVER!
Learn from your mistake and don't do it again if you want your relationship to work! That is something you should live with to your grave!
2007-01-23 03:56:39 · answer #6 · answered by mudd_grip 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
If you cheated you need to tell her and be honest. I know that my husband would be honest with me. If you did it on an accident then she should forgive and give you another chance but even if it wasn't on an accident and you feel guilty and would never do it again you deserve another chance. My husband's cheated on me in his mind and those times I forgave him and gave him a lot of chances because I know that he felt guilty about it and he tries not to do it. If you don't confess then it'll eat you up alive. You'll feel much better when you confess. If she's an understanding person she'll forgive you and give you another chance but if she's not then she wasn't meant to be with you.
2007-01-23 03:59:04 · answer #7 · answered by Irish Girl 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
they may tell when they are finished with the affair, and don't feel it could hurt their marriage, or they tell it when they don't care what the consequences are, and they are ready to leave the spouse for that other person. maybe their conscience is bothering them and they need to get rid of the guilt involved.
2007-01-23 03:54:28 · answer #8 · answered by jude 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
purge your mind.obviously it is bothering you and you need release. how do you know that she has not had an affair,this is the modern world.women enjoy life as much as men and women be a man and let it all hang out
2007-01-23 03:58:48 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
No circumstance would help in my opinion BUT if you have been hiding this secret and want to come clean...then just do it. BUT be prepared for her to leave you, or not forgive you or both!
2007-01-23 03:53:34 · answer #10 · answered by chemky1 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There isn't one. It should have been said when it started. Just get a divorce, wait until its final and then tell her 5 years later.
Unless you turn all of this over to God. Ask HIm to forgive you and you will have to decide if you should tell her or not.
2007-01-23 03:52:59 · answer #11 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋