Is it wrong to send an anonymous email to check to see if your husband it cheating?

Question

I am happily married for 11 years, but I have a gut instint I'm not sure exactly what's going on. I talked with my husband about it and he keeps trying to reassure me that everythign is great, but for some reason I still feel something is wrong. I created another email account and emailed him. I just did it and for some reason I feel I shouldn't do it that's setting him up and I want to go and delete it before he see's it. Maybe I am afraid of what might happen, I guess I'm not sure.

I know he's on websites looking at porn. We watch porn together, but I feel that watching it without me is a form of cheating. Am I parnoid or just following an instint.

Yes, I'm telling you I find it hard to beleive my husband would cheat. I do trust him, however I have an instint that something is wrong.

Answer 1

I think you are paranoid, but that's just me. You probably will not get a reply to your email because he will have no idea who in the hell you are. Best thing to do is to just sit down and talk openly to your husband, tell him what kinds of feelings you are having and why you are feeling that way. Ask him is everything in your Marriage still the same and if it needs spicing up what you two need to do about it. I wish you the best.

You know there is an old saying that if you dig deep enough and you look for something long enough eventually you will find it, but sometimes that comes from prying and digging thinking that a man/woman is cheating on you , that you are giving more attention to finding out what is going on outside of your relationship when there really is nothing , that your relationship lacks all that attention because it is directed elsewhere in trying to find something that never was.

Answer 2

Honey, I get so many emails from random email addresses in my inbox everyday. I get emails advertising porn, trying to sell me viagra and penis pumps. And I don't go on nasty websites, so I don't know where they come from. But I get them. I wouldn't worry too much about it - it's possible that it's just some random email that got send out to a million people. I can understand why you are shaken up and upset though. I would ask him about it, and just go by his reaction. If he seems suspicious, then maybe look into it more. But if not, then it was probably just some random email that someone sent to a bunch of people trying to stir the pot. It didn't even contain any details like his name or your name. There could be a million women right now sitting in their office calling their husbands and accusing them of cheating on them. By the way, I've read some of the other posts on here about that you should respond to the email. If it was me, I wouldn't. If it came from a sketchy address, then chances are it's a scam trying to get you to respond. You could end up with some sort of virus on your computer. What better way to convince a woman to respond to an email than to tell her her husband is cheating on her?

Answer 3

I think if you trust you husband than there should be no problem. He will not answer the email. I think it is normal for guys to watch porn with or without you and that is not cheating. Let the email ride and see what happens if you dont then you will just keep wondering. Good Luck and hope he does not respond.

Answer 4

Porn is a guy thing period even though i am a girl and i enjoy watching it. You guys do it together! Thats perfect! You look like a well rounded couple that like new things and not afraid to discuss things. Your marriage look very healthy. So please dont instigate or temp anyone to mess up things for you. Not unless you have a good reason like an actuall female behind a scene.....not porn....das not a reason to mess things up because it probably will. And you can never stop a man from lookin at porn or saving some good lookin model pics on his computer. Its there and it doesnt necessary mean he is interested in cheating or he just fantasizing to sleep with her or he just want her so bad that he is going to go to holliwood to find her....Cmonn. My fiance have pics of models saved on his sidekick. they not naked but they dressed litely. I always see that and it dont bother my jealous *** (i am totally are jealous person), but it dont bother me, because he loves me and i know that and thats all i need to know. So please try to be more positive unless you really caught him cheating or talking to someone real, and not your anonymous email cyber chick. Good luck!

Answer 5

You may try to e-mail him anonymously, but would he not be suspicious of some mystery women all of a sudden getting his e-mail address and picking him up on blind? Surely it's not one of the porn stars. for them it's a job, no matter how you cut it.
As far as porn, it's not a big deal either way, and that is not an issue at all. If you have a feeling that something is up, you can try to investigate, but it doesn't mean he is in fact cheating if he responds to your e-mail.
There might be other things going on. like stress on the job. Men get moody too. Try and have date nights, alone time and work on your relationship in a positive way, keep your eyes open, but there is no need to drive yourself (and him) crazy for nothing.

Answer 6

I think your paranoid is all. If he's been with you for 11 yrs I would say you don't have anything to worry about. All men look at porn with or without their partner even though they may not admit it upfront and as long as he is keeping your "whistle blowing" you should not try to change him for that or it may backfire onto you not getting any.

There is alaways going to be the feeling of him being with some one else, on his behalf he probably gets the same feeling about you and would you want him sending false e-mails to you.

Answer 7

This is nasty.

Watching it without you should only be a problem if it is negatively impacting your sex lives together. I cannot call it cheating.

Now yes you are setting him up. Now he's probably just curious about who wrote him a sexy note (wouldn't you be?) and will reply something like "hmmm tell me more" and you'll go AHA! I knew it! CHEATER!

This is completely unfair. If you have a real reason to believe he's cheating, check it out, but otherwise learn to love and trust your husband.

Answer 8

Sorry to say but that is womens intution and something is probably going on, trust your gut..Good luck of and just cause eh looks at porn doesnt mean he is cheating.Most guys like porn. Who wouldnt the girls look perfect and will do anything on porn..

Answer 9

LISTEN to your intuition.

My husband and i have been married for 14 years, two kids, perfect life. I started wondering why I was so jealous of everything and everyone. It was my intiuition screaming at me.

I asked him if he had an affair but he denied it. A lie. It later came out that he had had an affair with a female friend of his 2 years ago. He remained friends with her and when he started leaving clues about his involvement with her around it was his way of trying to cleanse his soul of the guilt he had been carrying around for so long!

Intuition is your best friend...rely on it. I wish I had!

Good luck.

Answer 10

"I feel that watching it without me is a form of cheating." This statement makes no sense to me. It can't be cheating if he's not interacting with anyone other than you! What are you, the thought police? What anyone thinks about is his own business. He's not touching or interacting with those porn models; he's just interacting with pictures -- objects, files, bitmaps, AVIs. Not people.