Have you ever went from the rough & gripping to the slow and caressing? I was just thinking about my sexual style and I'm a rough style. I was like "why am I like this?" Maybe because I was raped by my brother's friend's (found out he was out raping too) when I was a fresh bud.
I don't know but I want to find out my true sexualitiy before I was violated.
But how do you start over? Can you reprogram yourself sexually?
If anyone knows what I'm talking about and have any suggestions please feel free. I am not a "bot" so please serious replies only.
Thanks in advance.
2007-01-23 03:26:45 · 6 answers · asked by Peek@u 2 in Social Science ➔ Gender Studies
Wow this might be the best question Ive ever read or answered before. I think your true sexuality is how you want to be but finding it hard to control. In my case I was molested by my cousin when I was younger and have been taken advantage of by various boys when I was growing up. Since then sex is on my mind about 70% of the day. I keep getting into bad relationships. For me I want to be celibate, I dont want to have anymore sex until I get married. I dont want to masturbate. These are all things I want to be like, but I find it so hard, my sexual side takes over and I throw everything to the wind. I think Im a pretty good person all around, but taking into consideration some of the sexual practices I have taken part in, maybe Im not. I think your sex style will chnage depending on what you want. Do you want to make love or do you want to f**k? I think that may depend on who your having these relationsh with also. I think u should report that guy BTW.
2007-01-23 05:33:13 · answer #1 · answered by Tian 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Here's the thing. You have to take control of your body and sexuality back from the act of rape. You are not created by the act, yet you allow yourself to be manipulated by the sorry bastard who did it. Even now. Rape is not an act of sex. It's an act of control and anger.
You're true sexuality develops over time. Sexuality is all wrapped up in emotions and feelings for the person you're with and who you are. Don't have sex with anyone other than someone you are truely in love with because causual sex will degrade you and the act.
You have to respect yourself and your partner, and be totally at ease. Sex is the frosting on your relationship's cake. You never use it to prove a point or get your way or as a tool. Once you meet someone who you love, respect, trust and feel at ease with, your sexuality will shine and you'll be satisfied with who you are.
2007-01-23 04:37:10 · answer #2 · answered by ? 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Jinxy is right. I was raped when i was 15. I had never really wanted to have sex before then and i really had no idea what i preferred when it came to sex. I had always hoped that my real frist time would be romantic and soft and sweet. That's totally not what i got.
I thought i was ruined. that i would never want to have sex again.
Then i decided that what happened to me waas out of my control and that i did not have to let it control me. So i moved on.
I like you said reprogrammed myself. And my real consented first time was great.
Now i'm happily married with a son and very happy
2007-01-23 03:49:29 · answer #3 · answered by ~*~BelAnge~*~ 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Being raped has nothing to do with it. I've been raped several times (long story) and I still like sex to start out soft an sensual. I like to be teased a bit, and then I like it to get a little bit rougher. I don't like to feel like my brains are being pounded, but something nice.
You have no need to change your style, just add to it. Try having sex after a lot of foreplay. Then build up to soft sensual things. That's also part of your foreplay. After a little bit of "soft" intercourse, you'll have that need to get going and sex will be that much better.
2007-01-23 03:31:46 · answer #4 · answered by Jinxy B 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I was never abused so I don't know.
I DO know that its at least possible to heal some from bad things that have happened, often its really difficult.
Also, yes its very possible to learn and change, try things, see what you and your partners like, then try other things, like a buffet I guess, fast / slow, rough /gentle, whatever both people like I think.
2007-01-23 03:33:35 · answer #5 · answered by kurticus1024 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
my GF is like that
2007-01-23 03:58:16 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋