i need a womans point of view should she be forgiven for what she did. She said it was a huge mistake. Can i or should i believe her. Trust me i want to because i love her we just drifted apart over the years you know kids jobs etc. i know she loves me but im having a hard time letting go
i would love to talk to a woman 1 on 1 to get her point of view so that maybe i could understand why.then maybe i could get past this
HELP ME PLEASE
email me or just answer either way it might help
thanks in advance
2007-01-23 03:19:02 · 33 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
It's never right to cheat, no matter how some people try to justify their actions. Cheating is still wrong when you are in a committed relationship. If you feel that you can forgive her, suggest marriage counseling. You obviously need help in order to pick up the pieces of your marriage. Don't blame yourself though. No one is perfect, but that still doesn't give your wife an excuse to cheat on you. I'm sorry. Good luck.
2007-01-23 03:24:13 · answer #1 · answered by Am I. Incognito 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Personally, I think it would be a mistake. My husband always wanted to swing with me; always said I could be with another man as long as "he could watch". And I Never even thought about being with another man! That's just not something I ever wanted. And it made me feel worthless and unwanted to think that my husband didn't feel the need to protect me from another man, let alone that he wanted to set me up with another man. After listening to him talk about it for 20 years, we're now separated. But maybe your wife is different. She might really want to try this; and she might really enjoy it. Still, be absolutely certain you haven't pressured her into this; be sure she is Totally comfortable with this and isn't doing it just to make you happy. The resentment could be overwhelming. And be sure you are comfortable with this too. Would you really feel ok about watching your wife have sex with another man? If there's any doubt or hesitation, I say don't do it. Once it happens, you can't undo it. An alternative might be to go out together and look at other people, then fantasize, together, about having a threesome with them. Often times, fantasies are better than reality. And they're a lot safer. Also, search for other answers on this topic and read through to hear what other people's experiences have been like. Good luck. Go slowly on this one.
2016-05-24 00:53:14 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Did she admit to cheating or did you catch her. If you caught her I wouldn't forgive her. She obviously had no intention of telling you and is only sorry because she got caught. I am also a firm believer in "once a cheater always a cheater" I have cheated on people and been cheated on. I know that if I was caught I would only tell them how big of a mistake it was because I got caught. If I didn't I would just act as if it didn't happen. I know that you are having a hard time letting her go but what if she does it again? That will hurt a lot more than if you just break it off now. Can you really go through this again. Will you honestly be able to trust her knowing that she was able to do that before. You don't want to be in a relationship where you are constantly questioning her and wondering if she is actually being truthful
2007-01-23 03:25:26 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
Affairs are some of the most painful situations in a marriage. There is the hurt, the anger, the angst. You ask yourself if you want to try. Some days, you love that person; then other days, you see them and replay every moment of the betrayal. Sound familiar? Been there, seen that. The biggest thing you need to ask yourself now is: do I want to work things out, or do I want to leave? If you work things out, the marriage is NOT going to be the same. Counseling will help immensely (because it will get to the root issues, and help to heal the rift), but you have to ask yourself about your ability to forgive. I didn't say forget; you won't. But forgive and still love her. If you can't get past this, you need to STILL get counseling, and civilly divorce. Most women don't get in affairs just about sex; there is a void in their married life that is filled by having a man want and desire them. There is also the thrill of a lover that seems attentive to their needs. Most men have affairs because they want a variant on the same old sex at home. You have a decision to make; I would recommend counseling for the both of you, so you know what to do next to save or end your marriage. Good luck and God bless.
2007-01-23 05:01:35 · answer #4 · answered by Judy W 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm not a woman, but most women cheat cause they are not emotionally satisfied. You say you guys drifted apart, well there is your answer of why. Now as far as the question of being forgiven, that's completely up to you, no one can decide that for you. Can you trust her again, will you always think about her with another man when you two make love? Will it always be something you can't quite get past? Just think about it.
2007-01-23 03:30:26 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Firstly, I am sorry that you have to go through this, It's a sick to your stomach horrible sinking feeling when your partner betrays you like this.
Second, there are no easy answers or quick solution to the long road back to trust and healing that the both of you are facing. Further more, once you embark on this road (counselling, therapy, trying to re-build your marriage) there is no guarantees it will actually work, but at least you must try, rather then walk away. Your wife told you about her infidelity, and the truth is, people make mistakes, they do. It will take time and effort on both your sides to patch things up, but it is possible. You are hurt and you have every right to be angry and resentful, but you cannot live your life submerged in negativity forever.
Make sure you go to a good marriage councillor and work toward recovery. for your sake and the sake of your children.
Good luck, don't give up.
2007-01-23 03:34:00 · answer #6 · answered by artist-oranit.com. 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Get help if you still love her. My boyfriends second wife cheated on him and she said she felt really bad about it..and just when he though things were getting better...she had found another man and moved out. She didn't even have the respect to tell him to his face, she wrote him a letter. I do not think that "once a cheater always a cheater" I believe that people can change, but it is something that YOU need to decide if you can or can not live with the fact that she chose to have sex with another man.
My daughters real father was having sex with my best friend, and I choose to take him back because we were going to have a child, but he found another girl and then another so I let him go, My child deserved better than a boy who does not know how to be a man or a father.
2007-01-23 03:31:43 · answer #7 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If she told you it was a big mistake....meant she didn't want to leave you or the family. You have to realize maybe you didn't pay enough attention in sex to her and that's why she had it with someone else to compensate what she's not getting. It's all up to you to fix the relationship. Have you put in your best to improve your marriage? If you love her so much......sit down talk to her with reasons......try to find out what actually happen. let her tell you as much as possible. This way, you will be able to trust her again. Marriage takes alot of understanding and forgiveness too. Good Luck.
2007-01-23 03:40:23 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would suggest that you talk to her and ask her all the questions that you might have. Ask her why you should forgive her and why does she deserve a second chance. I would probably forgive my man if that was the case, I would give him a second chance, but if he made the same mistake twice, he would be gone. I do believe that sometimes people make mistakes wither its men or women because maybe they want to feel desired or wanted, or just to get their self-esteem a boost, and if it happen just once and she truly regrets doing it, you should forgive her and tell her that you love her and are willing to work this out, doesn't mean that she is completely off the hook, just means that you are willing to work with her!
2007-01-23 03:28:42 · answer #9 · answered by wantstoknow 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
some one I know cheated on her husband, He never found out though. SHe said she did it because it was nice to feel good about herself again. He made her feel attractive, wanted, and sexy...she wasn't getting that at home. She ended the affair after a couple months. She realized that it was the biggest mistake she has ever made. She loves her husband and is still with him. She would be devestated if he found out because she wants to stay with him and knows she would never do it again. BUt that can't be said for all people who cheat. If you guys go to counseling it would help a LOT. If you truely love her and she is truely sorry and love you too you can work through it. Good Luck
2007-01-23 03:28:50 · answer #10 · answered by jennifer d 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋