My bf and I have had our share of problems , we've been together for close to 5 years and we have 4 wonderful kids together should i take the risk on getting married when we still have problems?
2007-01-23 02:22:36 · 18 answers · asked by Danielle 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Wow, that's a tough one. If there were no kids, what would you do? Why have you held off marriage thus far? I think it really depends on what the problems are that you refer to...are they things that can be worked out? Are they worth working out? I guess I would need to know more to give a better answer...just be sure that you make a decision for yourself, never stay together just because of the children if the situation is not healthy.
2007-01-23 02:26:49 · answer #1 · answered by Back in the game... 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
What is the main reason for staying with him in the first place?
If it's because you have 4 kids together, there is no point on looking at marriage after all this time.
However, with love and commitment comes pain, doubt, dissagreements,as well as many happy and exciting times and many ups and downs, you are 2 different people with different points of views, feelings and thoughts, you're bound to have a few bumps in the road.
Marriage has to be something you both want.
Remember that it is a way of promissing no matter how hard things get or how good things can be, you'll be there by his/her side to share it with them and help them endure.
2007-01-23 02:47:51 · answer #2 · answered by arcticraven77 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have 4 kids in 5 years with him?
What's the matter with you? Why haven't you already married and make a stable home for your children?
"Take the risk on getting married" well I don't see what you have to lose.
2007-01-23 02:37:49 · answer #3 · answered by fucose_man 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you are having serious doubts about the marriage it is best to hold of on the wedding untill you think the problems causing the doubts are gone. Once you get married the pre married problems arent' going to go away. But if you have been together for five years already you should know wether or not this man is going to be good to you. Follow your heart but be smart.
2007-01-23 02:27:58 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
Why not. You took the risk of having 4 children. He's going to be (or should be) a part of your life anyway because you have children. Make your children legitimate. Right now they are little bastards. I know that's harsh, but listen to your question. You had not 1. not 2. not 3. but 4 children with a man that you were not sure that you want to marry. whatever.
2007-01-23 02:30:16 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
Every marriage has problems. There are good days and there are bad days. You have four children with this man and if you haven't decided if you want to marry him or not, you are in all kinds of trouble. You must have loved him enough to have those babies with him. You should love him enough to marry him and make the family legitamate. It's up to you however because you are the only one who is going to deal with it. I wish you the best and hope all works out for you. Thank you.
2007-01-23 02:30:50 · answer #6 · answered by cookie 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
If you are having so many doubts you should put off getting married and think about getting some counseling first to learn how to work through your issues and learn to compromise. The greatest lesson I ever learned for longterm happily married couples is to learn how to fight, we all have diasagreements but you need to learn how to respect each other's opinions and learn to disagree. But this doesn't mean you shouldn't marry each other down the road. Good luck
2007-01-23 02:34:19 · answer #7 · answered by jaws1013 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Dude are you a rabbit? 4 kids in 5 years? You should get your tubes tied before anything else. And yes, if you have problems now, don't get married. Why would you marry someone that you have problems with?
2007-01-23 02:25:58 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
The first thing you should do is get on frikken birth control !!! dammm, woman, enough is enough !! i marriage is yet another full time job , not to mention all the kids you have that need you. You think you have problems now ??
2007-01-23 02:44:07 · answer #9 · answered by georgia k 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you have been together for 5 years and 4 children, you have practically been "married" already. Why not make it official?
2007-01-23 02:26:08 · answer #10 · answered by Kerry 7 · 0⤊ 2⤋