Why do people think you are a sponger because you don't work.?

Question

I am a carer for my disabled step daughter,and have my disabled son every school holiday, I am 38 years old and have work all my life up until 2 years ago,my wife is doing a degree, so maybe we will own our house one day,I have had my own home before and give it over to my ex-wife to provide a roof for my disabled son, not long after the house prices went through the roof and have never been able to get on the ladder since,why do i get the feeling that the neighbours who own there own houses, look down on us because we rent and i do not go to work.

Answer 1

I'm not sure that the neighbours are thinking that, are they? Houw do they know that you are only renting the house? Perhaps it is you who feels in some way inadequate because you stay at home and you therefore feel self-conscious, thinking that everyone is looking down on you.

It sounds to me like you are a really caring, hard working person who loves their family above all else. You have the love of your wife and children - who cares what some snobby busy bodies up the street are thinking? They are probably thinking you have some fabulous job that enables you to work from home and are envious rather than critical of you.

Just think of the future when your wife has qualified, where will you be then? Off out of there without so much as a backward glance to them. I promise you, once that has happened, you won't give them a second thought. And nor should you.

Answer 2

When I was real young the older surfers sometimes had nothing better to do then pick on us spongers. I had a surfer stick his board under mine and puncter a whoule in my new board with the tip of his surf board. I'm older now I would love to see that man even open his mouth about us spongers. It would be on. But I was a kid and the waves were coming in slow so I guess the surfer was just bored. First and last incident.

Answer 3

Hi Sar,

This happens because people need to feel important and are better than at least one other person. They think that because they work and get paid that they are keeping you.

What they don't understand is that if you went to work and the state had to pay for the care of your relatives it would cost the tax payer a lot more.

My hubby went back to uni while looking after me as a disabled person but is finding it difficult to get a job, God knows why, he was very well qualified and experienced in his field prior to my accident.

If someone tries it with him he just tells them that when they are qualified enough they can criticise. Till then shut up or be silenced.

Answer 4

On the contrary, I am happy for my tax money to go to people like you, people who cannot work themselves, or who are supporting others in the same situation, that is fine with me. The best of luck to you.

The problem is the people who simply cant be bothered to work, or have made stupid life choices like spawning some bastard kid at the age of 14. I am from a poor background and got educated and employment for myself, and seem to be punished for it by the state to provide for these people, and that's what upsets me.

Perhaps the stigma from the second group of people is transferred over to the people which genuinely deserve our help as a society. If that is the case, that is a shame.

Answer 5

Because some people are bigoted, prejudiced and ignorant.

Sad fact of life my friend. I'm a carer too - I know just what you mean.

Don't let them get to you.

If you were paid for the hours of caring you do, imagine the wage you'd be on? That fact that you do it out of love says a lot of good things about the kind of person you are.

The fact that some people think these things says a lot of unfortunate things about them.

Keep ya chin up - you're a good man.

Answer 6

Being a carer is a full time job... it is terrible that the government don't take this seriously and adjust benefits accordingly. My friend is a full time carer for her step father... she had to give up her full time job to do so. I and many others believe that family carers should have the same rights as professional carers... you should be paid!!!!!!!!!!!.... However, in the meantime... if your neighbours are being condesending... I pray that they do not, in the future suffer unforseen illness and have to walk a mile in your shoes... god bless to you and your family :)

Answer 7

You're not a scrounger because you are providing care for someone! There are plenty of people out there who don't have responsibilities like yours and they still don't work. Ignore the people who you think look down at you. You are doing something that they probably will never do and you should be proud of yourself for that.

Answer 8

Yes, i get what you mean.
There are always ignorant people out there who doesn't think with their brain. it's like my situation i dont really feel like money is the main goal in my life but the acquirement of knowledge is. so i've stayed in university for a much longer time then my other same age friends. and some of them mocks once in awhile and say
" god when are you gonna finish studying..."
I think everyone 's purpose in life is different and everyone has their own mission in life that they hold most sacred. unfortunately for most them they cant see past the "gaining material needs rat race" .. i dont really care. i just ignore them. cus i know what is the most important for me in my life.

Answer 9

I can imagine that you're venting a bit and no doubt you've come up against armchair fair weather critics before, it's annoying but in the scheme of things given your responsibilities and what you do does it really matter?

I can't see those who point the finger coming to help you when you need it, can you?

Answer 10

it is not people like you, its the ones who are just plain lazy who do nothing but smoke and sit down playing computer games all day,

you do work, but get no recognition for what must be a very difficult position!