Im married seeking a divorce, in the midst of all the turmoil a man came into my life that I became friends with and am now in love with, we want to be together but cant because we live too far apart and have children in school. please,please how do I let go since the distance thing will always keep us apart anyway
2007-01-23 00:35:51 · 12 answers · asked by Sweetheart 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Is giving up on this relationship what you want to do, or you think you should do?
I had a similar decision to make. The woman I fell in love with was only living in Canada for a couple of years. When she went home, we stayed in contact. After a while, I realized that I really loved her and the distance was breaking my heart. I decided that because she was be unable to live in Canada, I would have to give up or move to the other side of the world to be with her. Fortunately, I made the right decision and now we are married and have a wonderful son.
The reason for telling you about myself is that sometimes the right thing, is often the hardest thing to do.
Before you give up, make sure that you are doing it for the right reason.
2007-01-23 04:34:44 · answer #1 · answered by A dad & a teacher 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You know what is "in love" It seems to me that if he lives so far away you have not spent an appreciable amount of time with him to distinguish "in love" from infatuation. I mean " in love" to me means you know the person, perhaps even the worst things about that person and it is ok...and then of course there is the sexual attraction. Taking time to really know someone is really important. Not sure why you can't be each others friends, and nurture the friendship. I mean if he is that great, how can you let this great friend go?
Also has it occurred to you that he is "safe" I mean you are getting divorced and I assume it is not complete? So in the "midst of turmoil" a welcome reprieve comes along in the form of a desireable man. That must feel really good and take your mind off of the "turmoil" of divorce. Also this great guy you have found will be nothing but a rebound. It is a known fact that people do better in relationships if they take time for themselves when they divorce for exploration and self-discovery. In short a journey for yourself so that you do not repeat some of the same mistakes in your next relationship. You simply cannot avoid the pain and other issues by running to a new mate.
2007-01-23 01:05:36 · answer #2 · answered by Suzanne 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
For now I think it is important that you probably put your full focus on your children. They are probably going through some tough time with the divorce, even if right now your not seeing it. Believe me, I went through it as a child. My mom and dad divorced. A year later someone else was in our lives. Not having the opportunity to really miss our dad, I personaly become resentful towards the person that eventually became my step-dad. He came in trying to play the Father role and I just couldn't handle it. I was young 6yrs old, I handle it on and off. Worse was my teen years, I couldn't stand him. I am just sharing on a personal level, You may love him, but your children may not accept him. This isn't to say that you shouldn't have love and a future down the road, but I would first let your children digest the divorce , the change, and have an open relationship with you and deal with all the emotions involved , then if they are old enough speak with them, your feelings on wanting to be with someone, and have their imput as well. As long as you can keep the communication opened between you and your kids, you can set up a good relationship in the future, with your kids understanding and love. I hope everything works out great for you. Goodluck!
2007-01-23 00:47:40 · answer #3 · answered by Shannon 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Read loving smart by Dr. Phil before the happens again.
You walk away and cut all contact.if that is what you truly want
real love is so hard to find, Are you sure this isn't rebound?
meditate on this and pray real hard.
Listen to your gut.
Another thing you don't need to start another relationship till your heart is healed and you are over and away from this one.
What is meant to be will always find a way to be is what i believe.
If you love something let it go, and if it is yours it will come back to you and if it is not, what is meant to be will come into your life;.
Maybe this person was sent into your life for a season, i dont know, but God does,
Pray ask God for directions!
Can not one of you relocate?
Or better both relocate,
Meet in the middle.
No guts no glory
honestly this book by dr. phil really helped me. I have a really good relationship and very happy.
This book really hit home and what he says is true.
It should be called loving smart 101 for dummies.
Helped my love life a lot!lol
God bless take care
2007-01-23 00:56:34 · answer #4 · answered by tennessee 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i kind of went thru the same thing it is hard i made a big mistake and married the other man now my life is ruined everything feels so exciting at first and you miss him and promises are made and we tend to build up the relationship to something it may or may not really br well it was a big mistake the man i married is abusive and is mean to me and can not hold a job down he is sick in the head be careful dreams can turn into nightmares and break your heart i want a divorce so bad
2007-01-23 00:53:17 · answer #5 · answered by Mississippi's Jersey girl 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
thrilling. If us adult males are so 'Logical' and without emotion lets seem at this scientifically. There are 16 diverse personality varieties. There are some those who've an truly black and white, logical outlook yet there are merely as many who're warmth, loving and being concerned. merely because you do not experience love would not recommend all adult males do not - that is a stupid assumption to make!! some adult males imagine love is 'soppy' and not in any respect macho sufficient so as that they placed on the demanding guy act, yet deep down they love. Its honestly really uncommon for someone to be completely without the aptitude to exhibit love or obtain it as an emotion. certainly, such those who're often noted as 'chilly' often meet the criteria for a psychological ailment. Take me, I actually have a demanding outdoors, i'm quite logical and often ruthless, yet i'm really a huge softie and that i trust issues really deeply. i'm in Love with someone in the present day and they are in love with me notwithstanding it cant happen and its killing me. Love is a classic human emotion designed to help us attraction to companions to procreate (complicated). i might want to recommend that when you're being straightforward and also you actually cant experience or exhibit love you want to seem at your self. i'm hoping you locate love quicker or later - if its correct it is going to knock you off your ft.
2016-12-02 22:41:22 · answer #6 · answered by anuj 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you know you cant be together then don't drag it out. End it now and look for a guy who lives close enough for you to have a relationship with. However I wouldn't do anything until the ink dries on your divorce papers. Good luck!
2007-01-23 03:50:21 · answer #7 · answered by chemky1 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you both want to move on, than you should cut off contact. That is the easiest way to move on from something, is by not being around it. Good Luck.
2007-01-23 00:45:41 · answer #8 · answered by In love with Life 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
u really don't know this man well, don't really know if it would work out even if u were with him. so maybe it's time to cut the ties with him and disconnect, if he isn't willing to move closer it can never work out.
2007-01-23 01:45:44 · answer #9 · answered by jude 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
save your money and move or have him move you. kids can go to school anywhere. People don't always find love.
2007-01-23 00:50:48 · answer #10 · answered by peggin_beast 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋