Abortion ????

Question

Im 5-6-7- weeks and im seriously consitering having an abortion.
I have no money, i have depression and self harm so if i cant look after myself how can i look after a baby?
I know some people are going to be mean and rude to me, and thats ok-everyone has there own opion, but do you thinki should keep it??
Pro's and cons?

Lauren

Im 17 by the way

Im basically alone.
No one knows about this pregnancy, i ran away from home when i was 15, im living with my boyfriend. I dont go to school- basically i have no life.

Why is so many people against abortion??
Thanks to everyone who replied.

Lauren

Answer 1

Lauren,

This is a decision only you can make.. I made the decision to have on years ago for my own reasons. It is something you will always live with.. Since you are suffering from depression and self harm and you do decide to go thru with the abortion I would suggest finding someone to talk to. Either way it can/will be hard at times.. Only you know what is right for you..

Good luck with what ever you decide to do.

Answer 2

Abortion may be the best option for you. That doesn't mean its a good option - you have a bad situation with no good outcomes except a highly improbable fairy godmother level intervention, and your choice is to find the least bad of all your bad choices.

Now, maybe there is a fairy godmother out there for you. Maybe there is a couple willing to not just adopt your baby, but effectively adopt you for the time of your pregnancy. Because that is what you need - a major support network, not merely equal to an average pregnant woman but greater. Call some pregnancy crisis centers, see what is available. But if all you get is a guilt trip and a vague hope that someone may adopt your baby if you make it through this, that isn't what you need.

This should be a wakeup call. You need to get help for your depression (believe me I've been there and it can get better) you need to be with someone that you can go through this with or not be in a romantic/sexual relationship right now (that doesn't mean being on your own) and you need to protect yourself so you are less likely to be in this situation in the future. But if you do not believe that you can safely carry this pregnancy to term, and you cannot find the intervention needed to make it a possiblity, you should consider abortion sooner rather than later.

Good luck, and whatever you do, don't just choose not to decide. You must act, one way or the other.

Answer 3

Ok sweety, noobody here can answer this question for you. Only you know how bad or good your mental state is, whether or not you could handle pregnancy, birth and caring for someone for the rest of their lives.
I think you really need to see a Dr and councellor for your depression and the self harm. Once you recieve help for that you may be able to make the decision. I really feel for you. Right now you need a lot of suppourt and love. Not the horrible replies you will get here.
Talk to your boyfriend about how you feel and your concerns, if you cant then you really need to speak to someone you trust.
Having a baby is a very full on experiance that doesnt stop. There are many pro's and cons and I cant think of them all but I will try.
Pro's
You will have a beautiful son or daughter
They will give you tremendous joy and fill your heart with love
You get to help this tiny person to become an adult
Overall its just a totally amazing experiance and is really hard to describe
There are lots more pro's but I cant think of how to word them.

Con's
You have depression which may worsen due to pregnancy and dealing with a newborn
They cost alot of money
Your whole life is put on hold for at least 18 yrs
Babies can be difficult to look after espeacially if you are young and inexperianced ( even for older women)
They cause alot of stress ( having all the stuff you need for them, having a stable housing situation, having enough money to pay for everything you need to ensure they grow up healthy and happy and lots more stuff)

Really there are so many things that I just cant list them.
I had both my children while suffereing from depression and the only way I get through it is for my kids, and with a really great suppourt network ( Mum, brothers, partner, Dr, pysch etc)
You may find that having the baby gives you a reason to live and improve yourself and get better, but it may also make the depression worse or you could suffer post natal depression.

You really need to see a Dr and councellor to help you, so you can make the right decision for you. What really worries me is the self harm. Things can and do get better sweety, you just need some suppourt.
If you can reunite with your family and tey can help you - ten great. But I think you ran away for a reason, so if you cant then rely on your boyfriend and whatever friends you have.
Please please please see a Dr.
Look after yourself and remember only you can decide whether you can cope if you have a baby.
Please email me if you want someone to talk to that understands.
Good Luck sweety

Answer 4

The problem is that aside from all the problems that you already know that you have - YOU decided to also be irresponsible and get pregnant despite the fact that you are aware that you are not able to provide for a child - so why not make sure that you do not get pregnant - take the depo shot which is only once every three months - the IUD - norplant, there are so many contraceptives that you are able to use that will prevent this - if you do not have medical insurance - there are free young adult clinics which you can visit that you help you out.

Why are so many against abortions you ask - well go into this website and see how a fetus of 7 weeks looks: http://www.i-am-pregnant.com/pregnancy/calendar/week/7

These are just the facts:

You are 7 weeks pregnant.

the baby's heart is beginning to develop, along with the first blood vessels of the circulation system.

You might find you need to wee more often - even at night. This is one of the effects of pregnancy hormones.

Mood swings can be a pain in pregnancy. It could be hormones, or a touch of anxiety at the idea of all the coming responsibility.

You may have been feeling sick, and it may be getting a bit worse. Nausea and vomiting are symptoms of early pregnancy - and though it's a real nuisance, it's usually temporary, and harmless.

The baby's limb buds are growing quickly, and they actually look more like arms and legs, with small separations which will become toes and fingers.

As you can see that as little as seven weeks, this baby looks like a human being and his/her heart is already developing, therefore, could you honestly say that a fetus is not a human being and that it is "nothing" - I doubt it - so of course, after you are able to see that at seven weeks, you already have a human being, a baby, and you decide to abort - well, how could one not call it murder. That is the reason why so many people are against abortions because in reality you are making the choice for this innocent life to be no more and such a choice is being made because of a mistake that YOU did - not him or her = an innocent victim pays for your crime.

Maybe, just maybe, this is the was what you needed in order to get your life around. You have nine months to prepare yourself for this child - maybe he/she should be your motivation to try to make something of yourself now that someone else has to depend on you. I know that it might seem like a tragedy but one never knows why things happen. I got pregnant at 17 - and now my daughter is 13 - I finished high school and went to college and do something for myself not because of me, but because I needed to make sure that my daughter had the best of everything. Really think what you want to do - but whatever decision you make - well, let it be one for you to start realizing that there is more to life than just being in it - that you are still young and that you can make a difference.

Nobody can judge you as only you know the reasons why you are where you are now - but just because you are there now, does not mean that you have to stay there forever. Good Luck.

Answer 5

Let me tell you a story. I was your age when I had my first daughter. I had a miscarriage before her and I thought my life was over. I didn't plan the baby, but I had accepted it and then I felt like it was taken away from me. I was bad depressed. I hated everything about me. Every time I saw a baby, or even baby clothes or diapers I cried and cried. DONT do something that you would regret as I think there are MANY woman that regret abortion after they do it. You can feel better just knowing that you gave a baby life and maybe even decide that this baby is what helps you heal and be a better person. I only believe that abortion should be legal if the mothers life is in danger or if the mother was raped. I would never have one, but that's my opinion. If you think you can handle a baby after its born, go for it but you have a lot you need to do, but you can do it. I would suggest that if you cant get a place to live and a job and everything that you would need, than at least put the baby up for adoption and be more careful next time so you don't get into this mess again. Good luck and I hope you figure out what to do, and remember, Dont do something you might regret. Good luck!!!

Answer 6

i really don't know if i should answer this one cause this is something i do not believe in ...... you need to get some help from some one and talk to them about this cause abortion is not the answer i think the only time a mother should have one is If the baby has a high risk of dying during childbirth but even then i don't know if i would want to have it ..cause it would kill me to know if the baby could have made it or not ...and If the birth of the baby could harm or kill the mother.... but then again i don't know if i could do it then ..... Do you know how many people can not have kids and want them? So why not take a chance, have the baby , then give it up to some loving family who wants it. Don't take the life of a baby just because you can. its wrong ...........abortion is murder no matter what the situation is., . If you are pregnant, give it up for adoption

Answer 7

you obviously dont have the mental stability to take care of this child. However, abortion is not always the answer. You could keep the baby and give it up for adoption. There are many loving familys that cant have babies that would love to adobt your baby, and would be able to provide him/her a good home. However, if you do decide to have an abortion, there are time limits, usually has to be done by 12 weeks, and depending on where you live, it can cost around 400-600 dollars. You could go to many places that help young girls who are pregnant and scared. Just call around places in your area and they can help you, or direct you to where can.

Answer 8

Lauren,
Statistically more women feel relieved rather than anxious or depressed post-abortion, however since you already mentioned that you have a depressive disorder and inflict harm on yourself, you most likely would not follow these statistics. As many have noted on here, you could feel a multitude of things from despair, fear, anger, elation, joy, etc with an abortion or with keeping your baby. What is probably best for you is to discuss all options with a professional, and since you are on your own, try Planned Parenthood, their services are on a sliding scale & so if you have very little money you'll be eligible for free service. They will be able to counsel you on your options (adoption, abortion, raising a child) and be better equipt to help you cope with whatever option you choose. Also, talk about these options with your baby's father, he did help create this human being, so he most likely will have something to say about what choice you should make. All in all weigh your options and do what you feel will be the best course of action for you and your unborn child. Good luck!!!

Answer 9

Lauren if anyone is nasty they are horrible people. Firstly im not saying a baby will make it better because it might not but if you had an abortion you may feel really bad . i know when i fell pregnant it was never an option couldnt have cope with the guilt and now my daughter is 1yrs and she is the best thing in the world. I think you should find someone to talk to about it mum, aunt or a good friend but u have to decide on your own because u have to live with your decision all the best hun whatever you do im sure you'll make the right decision x

Answer 10

Hi there Lauren,
Honey you really need some help. There are quite a few issues that you need help with and whether or not you continue this pregnancy is only one of them.
Have you seen a doctor at all to have your pregnancy confirmed? That is the first thing you should do. You need to see a doctor so that you know for sure that you are pregnant and exactly how far along you are. An ultrasound would be a wonderful idea. That will help in your decision making process. Secondly a doctor will be able to talk to you about what you can expect from this pregnancy in terms of how it is going to affect your own health. I am very concerned about your own mental health issues and the statement that you made about "self harm". Are you into self mutilation or do you think of suicide often? You need to understand how pregnancy is going to affect these things. If there is a clinic of some sort where you live you should be able to get all of your answers in one place. There are community agencies that will pitch in and help a young woman in your situation. It is quite possible that having this baby could be the best thing that ever happened to you. Then again it could be the one thing that drives you over the edge. You need counseling on these issues. What are your plans for dealing with your mental health issues?
What about the baby's father? Is he very vocal about any of this? Is he willing to help? What is his situation? Is he willing to take care of you and the baby financially? You need to know that.
Is going home an option? Have you kept in touch with your family? Would they help you? Do you have any support system at all?ave to assume that there are similar op
If you lived in this area I would know how to help you but I have to believe that here are similar options in place to help you where you live also.
Try to find some optimism in your heart honey. Someone (God or some divine power) believed that you had it in you to be a good mother. That is a huge vote of confidence. You have been given a very precious gift. Before you throw it away make sure that it is really what you want to do. Some abortion clinics that claim to have counseling have nothing more than sales experts who are there to sell you on the idea of aborting your baby. Be very cautious of these kinds of places. Make sure that real options are presented to you. Do not let anyone tell you that your baby is nothing more than a "clump of cells" (yes, they still use that one!).
Adoption is a beautiful thing. The youngest of my 5 children is adopted so I know first hand what I speak of.
Feel free to write to me if I can be of any further help, I will write back to you.
Love and Blessings, take care and reach out for some help!
Lady Trinity~