My son is putting his education and responsibilities at home on the back burner and instead thinks we owe him everything with no questions asked. How can I get hm to see that he has to earn our trust and respect and he can't have everything he wants? How can I get him to realize that if he acts like a spoiled child he will be treated as such and not like a young man? He is my step son which also causes problems in this area. Help!
2007-01-22 23:04:46 · 11 answers · asked by flowerchild_gap 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Adolescent
First of all, get the parent involved and on the same page as you. Secondly, use a reward system. He cannot watch TV or play video games or so on until his chores are done. It sounds as if you haven't been married too long and are going thru the testing state with a teenager.
It's difficult even in the best of situations, but it is imparative that your spouse help you and stand strong with you.
2007-01-22 23:09:55 · answer #1 · answered by bluebettalady 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sit down and have a family meeting. Tell him in advance that the subject will be "responsibilities." Have him draw up a list of what privileges he wants, allowance he expects, etc. You make out a list of what you expect - grades, chores, civility, accountability. Discuss rewards and consequences. Talk about how to earn "above and beyond" credits. Figure out - as a family - how you can both be happy.
2007-01-23 06:55:18 · answer #2 · answered by kramerdnewf 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
college DOES supply human beings greater strategies. element is, neither of you is conscious how academic she truly is, as severe college would not truly do coaching remarkable. the way issues are taught has a tendency to make lecturers look meaningless and ineffective, and bewildering, fairly than clever and intelligible. yet, whilst she's an grownup, she will do as she needs. consistent with danger she gets help with college. no longer getting a severe college degree would be a great handicap. or perhaps truly low-point jobs at present want a minimum of "some" college.
2016-11-26 20:43:53 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
FOR ONE YOU AND YOUR SPOUSE HAVE TO BE ON THE SAME PAGE WITH THIS ONE AND BACK EACH OTHER UP 100%. IF HE THINKS THAT THIS GET HIM OUT THE EASY WAY AND HAS BEEN GETTING WHAT HE WANTS THAN CHANGE IT. YOU ARE THE PARENTS. HE IS OLD ENOUGH TO GET A JOB AND TAKE A SHOT AT BUYING THE THINGS HE WANTS AND MORE SO NEEDS ON HIS OWN. LET HIM EXPERIENCE HOW IT IS TO SUPPORT HIMSELF. MAYBE ADD RENT INTO THE EQUATION. I HOPE YOU ARE BOTH WILLING TO DO THIS TOGETHER OR IT WILL COME BETWEEN YOU AND IF THAT IS THE CASE THE RELATIONSHIP HAS SOME TOUGH TIMES AHEAD...
2007-01-22 23:48:37 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
That is a difficult question,
you can only keep telling him how important education is.
He needs to get a job and earn his own money that would help.
When my step son was 16 we stoped buying his clothes
except for school and stoped giving him money.
If he broke rules we gave conquenses.
2007-01-23 03:07:01 · answer #5 · answered by jojo 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Have his biological parent take away any financial support until he gets his grades up and does chores around the house. Keep the money from him for as long as it takes. If his biological parent does this then there won't be any resentment. Also, when I was that age and someone irresponsible, my parents pointed out unsuccessful people here and there and told me that my life would be like theirs if I didn't shape up.
2007-01-22 23:58:58 · answer #6 · answered by pinwheelbandit 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
whether we are 16 or 36 we are creatures of habit. we do what works for us. neglecting respons. and not respecting others works for him. if it didnt work he wouldnt do it. maybe you should try your very best to make sure he doesnt get the payoff of dodging these valuable life lessons you know he needs to learn. he will prove to be a very worthy opponent in this endeavor. he will do all that he can to insure that the easy way out continues to work for him. consistency is your best tool. he expects you to give up at a pivotal point in this challenge. dont. dont be afraid to parent. his dad will hold you deeper in his heart for leading the way and showing that you are not a pushover; that you can direct with love, concern and consistency. let your actions do the talking.
2007-01-22 23:26:59 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ahhhhh, welcome to teenagers. I have 2 teenage boys myself. The best advise I can give is to not take it personally for one. Sometimes you really just have to let them fall and take a hit where it hurts. Stand strong, don't give in, dont loose your temper, just simply don't allow certain things to happen that they are counting on like parties, concerts, turn the cell phone off for a while, eliminate the things that mean the most and see what happens, and do it calmly!
2007-01-23 02:37:18 · answer #8 · answered by ♥monamarie♥ 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is a boot camp that you can send him to in Wisconsin call. Have them send you a brochure and once you get it leave it on the kitchen table.When he ask you about it tell him that you and your husband are thinking of sending him their. He will stop acting like a fool.
2007-01-26 15:16:43 · answer #9 · answered by Viki M. 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
give hims only 1 pak of malboro n tell him not mores untils end of weeks
2007-01-23 06:10:37 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋