I'm a fairly cynical 20 something and have trouble accepting that long and HAPPY relationships are actually poss. Was hoping that people who are living in such relationships can explain what they still love about their partners after all this time and what keeps them together...
2007-01-22 22:49:58 · 8 answers · asked by Gillgidaan 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
I wouldn`t want to be with anyone else. I trust her totally. She trusts me totally. I can talk to her about anything. She can talk to me about anything. We are a team and everything in our lives is a team effort. She and I laugh all the time.
Together we made a 23 yr old son, a 20 yr old son, and a 9 yr old daughter. We are extremely proud of the results of our combined products. (our kids.)
There is no such thing as self.
At 58 and 50 we have great sex (at the motel) because she wants to make me happy and I want to make her happy.
She is the most beautiful woman in the world. She claims I am the most handsome guy. Go figure. How could I give up such a woman.
How is it possible?
Don`t give up your sex to BF`s. Korney is good. Demand respect you deserve it. Find that guy who can`t live without you, and respects you. He would beg you...plead.. on his knees for you to marry him and be his wife.
If your gut says red flag, believe it. Spend a year knowing him and him you.
Make a point to eat together everyday.
High moral values and pass them on to your children.
good question
2007-01-26 04:02:45 · answer #1 · answered by Gone Rogue 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Hmmm...an interesting question. And I have no glib answers here. I've been with the same man for nearly thirty years. I could begin with the easy answers, of course. Respect, shared values, good communication, we can still make each other laugh - and while those are all true, I don't think it completely captures the challenge AND the joy of being intimately present to another human being. I think it's tough to be open and vulnerable to another person - someone that close is bound to step on our sensitive spots eventually. Is it always 'happily ever after'? Nope. Sometimes, he makes me crazy and I'm sure often I make him a bit crazy. I think that every intimate relationship, whether parent/child, sibling, best friend or spouse is going to involve conflict at some point. The important thing for me is how we handle that conflict. For us, what's worked is discussing our issues from an "I" perspective: I am hurt when..., I feel confused, I don't understand, etc. rather than finger pointing at each other with 'you are so arrogant' or 'you hurt me'. That helps alot. It's easier for me to hear him if I don't feel like I'm getting blamed and have to defend myself. My tender feelings towards him are enhanced rather than chipped away with built up resentments. I feel heard and respected.
Another important thing, I think, is to have some fun together. I love my husband, but it's easy to lose sight of that if all we share is an endless To Do list. We try to remember to make time for us to be silly, adventurous and yes, romantic. Not easy in this day and age when something always seems to be screaming for our attention.
Like Alan Alda observed in the movie, The Four Seasons, long term relationships have their ups and downs. Sometimes, we're crazy about each other and sometimes the other person just makes us crazy. But in the end, we accept and value who the other person is. So, I guess what I'm saying is that staying connected and committed to each other is a moment to moment decision that is played out in our actions. I don't depend on him to make me happy, nor does he depend on me to make him happy...we ARE happy because we feel relaxed, authentic and loved for who we really are. And I am still excited to see him, listen to his thoughts, share his feelings and hold his body.
I hope that you will find what you're looking for. I really do think that long term happy relationships are possible - they're just not automatic like the fairy tales (and they lived happily ever after) THAT'S where the real stories start.
2007-01-29 16:38:55 · answer #2 · answered by Mid life momma 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have obviously not found the right person yet. Once you have, you will "see the light". I married my best friend, my lover, my obsession, my hero, my children's daddy, my business partner (our "life" business), my competition, my support system, my soul mate. When these people all came in one package, I knew I had found my husband. How can anyone get bored or disinterested in an all-in-one deal?
I wish for you what I have found.
2007-01-29 07:13:07 · answer #3 · answered by jessnbethsmom 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I feel its the comfortness between them that bounds long term relationships
2007-01-29 22:45:28 · answer #4 · answered by Nirupama K 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
he makes me feel like a better woman, someone to totally trust, ready to give 110% into the relationship. For better or for worse, he's the one for me.
2007-01-28 12:10:31 · answer #5 · answered by Val® 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He still makes me laugh... no matter what, he finds a way to make me feel good.
2007-01-30 07:30:58 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
luv iz 4 suckers!!!!!!!!!!!!!
2007-01-30 11:09:52 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋