Long story... ill cut it short!!! we went out for 5 years but he broke up with me about 1-2 months ago... i didnt take it well but things are getting better... he keeps trying to contact me & wants to be friends.. i told him we shouldnt talk anymore but he ignored it & wants to remain friends.. why would he want to still talk when he dumped me????
2007-01-22 21:12:51 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
There may be lots of reasons, none of them probably in your best interest (wanting you for casual sex, he feels guilty, he wants to keep you around in case he can't find his "dream girl"....etc.), or he may really want to be friends (likes you, but the attraction is gone).
He could be regretting things too. He might have got some stuff (i.e. casual sex or trying to date other women only to get turned down) out of his system and realizes he made a "mistake". Guys often make rash decisions and then freak out. But why should you have to pay?
I personally think that a) it's too early for friendship, and b) if you get nothing out of it, why do it?
All you can do is really ask what exactly it is he wants and what he's been up to. If you are happy with the answer, then by all means be friends. If not (and I think this will be the case), or you doubt what he is telling you, you know that you need to make it clear that you are not his familiar comfort to rely on anymore.
Perhaps in time you really can be friends. Perhaps not. If he really wants to have friendship, let him earn it. I wouldn't be so cold, but he obviously doesn't respect your feelings if he won't take no for an answer when you are still hurting.
2007-01-22 21:27:36 · answer #1 · answered by reginachick22 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
1
2016-05-06 00:45:47 · answer #2 · answered by Shelby 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you cut the ties, then let them remain that way. 5 years is too much time to turn around and say ok, lets just be friends. I know I had the same thing going on. You can lie to yourselfs, and throw around labels like "friends" and if you wanna play that game then do it, but it means your never gonna give yourselfs the opportunity to move on. The real question here is are you two ready to be apart for the rest of your lives.
2007-01-22 21:17:13 · answer #3 · answered by ashleynicole452 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I bet you are going through a hard time right now. You have to wait until you are totally over him befor eyou even see him. You are only allowed to see him when you realize that he won't make you have goose bumps or make your heart flip. One/two months is a short time. You need to alone to try and eveluate your self before you become your self. There is no way you can be friends right now after all the emotional roller coaster you have been through. tell him kindly that you really appreciate his request but you are moving on. If possible changea all your contacts and door locks so that he can realise you are serious.
2007-01-22 21:19:35 · answer #4 · answered by cynnie 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Love, sometimes comes and goes and its nobodies fault. He obviously still thinks a lot of you and that should please you or else you two would not have ben lovers in the past.
I have several friends whom were lovers first and no regrets. Maybe you need a bit more time before you're able to be friends but try I would. If he's a good person (imagine he is, or you would not have dated), it's worth it.
We can never have enough good friends in this troubled World.
2007-01-22 21:26:03 · answer #5 · answered by SwissAK 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
he probably cant see you in person cuz he'll want to be with you and doesnt wanna send you mixed signals... this is all up to you.. you can do this: tell him you dont want a friendship like that. You two were once a couple and its sad to see that now all he wants is an internet contact out of it... so tell him that the only way you could be friends is in person.. or at least on the phone or something. if he cares about you at all, then he'll agree to that. if he doesnt then you know that he doesnt find you worth it, in which case he's not worth it so drop him. good luck.
2016-05-24 00:16:41 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
He dumped you for your own good...
Why don't you give him the chance to be your friend but not a close one, if you know what i mean... Act as if you don't feel anything for him any longer, if he calls you on phone or something more similar, tell him you're busy and find out if he just wants the friendship or want something more...
Don't be too hard on him, he has his reason for letting you go, did you ever try to find out why, did you ask him why he's now leaving you after 5years? Thses are the things you need to know..
Hope this helps...
2007-01-22 21:21:58 · answer #7 · answered by codedfeelins 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
well my opinion there are better guys out there so go for them and as for your ex maybe he's trying to use you. and i'm sure you have been hurt enough when he dumped you on the first place think hard do you want to go through it all over agin, if the answer is no, be firm and move ahead with your life without ur ex
2007-01-22 21:20:29 · answer #8 · answered by Rave 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Over that amount of time someone becomes more than just a lover they become your best friend, he is trying to preserve the part of the relationship he was happy with. Plus he does still care about you so that is part of it to, normally one or the other breaks contact making maintaining a friendship impossible.
-NmD!
2007-01-22 21:20:19 · answer #9 · answered by NoMaD! 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
One of two things, he feels guilty, or he is lookin for a booty call. Its doubtful he really just wants to be friends. He might miss you, but he did still break up with you, so I say stick to your guns and don't try to be friends. It rarely ever works out, one of you will end up hurting again.
2007-01-22 21:18:36 · answer #10 · answered by Jadeba12 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋